Why do marriage end in divorce?

Considering the alarming divorce statistics worldwide and the growth and economic success of the divorce industry, I have to question whether we seriously consider the question -- "Are you the one for me?" -- before marriage. In my opinion, if relationships are failing at such an alarming rate, why did these people get together in the first place? I have heard many excuses for why relationships fail: "he/she has changed since we met"; "we just grew apart"; "the love just disappeared from the relationship; "we weren't compatible"; "financial troubles got in our way"; "we weren't communicating anymore"; "he/she was unfaithful and cheated on me." To me, the reasons are not important. The real issue is why two people meet, date, court one another, commit to a relationship, purchase a home, have children, get into debt together, and then decide, "You are not the one for me." Whether you have lived together for two years or twenty years, such a decision has repercussions not only for the two individuals who are splitting up, but also for children, friends, and family as well. Why are we failing, today, in recognizing what we want as individuals, and what we want and need from our relationships? Now, the sixty-four dollar question: why are at least half of us selecting the wrong partners? I do not feel that we are honestly examining the question "are you the one for me?" as much as we may think we are. Relationships are a big part of life for most of us. It is part of our human existence that we choose a mate, share love and intimacy, provide comfort and security for one another, and, in many cases, have and nurture children together. Since intimate, loving relationships are so important to us, many of us are willing to make great sacrifices in order to have a relationship. When we finally meet that potential partner who pushes most of the right buttons, we feel a sense of relief that our search is now over. We are thrilled to have found a partner, a person with whom to have a relationship and share our life. Sometimes, though, we fool ourselves in the initial euphoria of love: we are not honest with ourselves about the things that bother us about our partner. We hope that these things simply will go away. We might ignore upsetting issues and allow them to pass without challenging them, or avoid topics of discussion that could lead to disagreements. We may tell ourselves that the things that bother us about our partner are not very important or that we are being too picky. We may be hesitant about asking questions of our partner that may reveal potential problems for the relationship. We need to make compromises in relationships, but we should not sacrifice our personal dreams and goals for them. By ignoring potential problems, we abandon ourselves for the sake of the relationship. Many of the warning signs of incompatibility or potential conflict between two partners are present from the beginning of the relationship. The problem lies in recognizing these challenges and addressing them early on in the relationship, before they become irreconcilable differences. If important issues are irreconcilable from the start, it is a good indication that the relationship will not succeed. Each of us is a unique person, with individual qualities, needs, strengths, and imperfections. In relationships with others, two unique individuals come together, and try to live in harmony with one another. Each person's qualities interact with the other's to set the mood or tone of the relationship. It is the cumulative effect of many attributes in another that make us feel safe and comfortable in a relationship. Many of us fall in love with one aspect or very few aspects of our partners, and try to downplay the other aspects that make us unhappy. Often this gets us into trouble. If we spend our time and energy trying to reassure ourselves that the problems with our partner do not exist, we may be ignoring the issues that will slowly, cumulatively destroy the relationship. Why do we choose to ignore these problems? Why do we insist on having a relationship when we know deep down inside that this person is not the one? Why do we choose to set ourselves up for emotional hurt? There are many answers to these questions, but fear is probably the greatest motivating factor for these choices. We fear being unable to find somebody with whom to share our life. We fear living alone. We fear being the last of our friends to be in a committed relationship. We fear the financial hardships of doing it alone in a society of two-income households. We fear growing old and dying alone.

Well, for one.. lack of maturity. I've heard about many couples marrying straight out of high school, or when they're like 20 or 21 and I think that right there should tell them they're setting their marriage up for a divorce. And like someone else said: lust. These couples think they're in love, but chances are they didn't give the relationship enough time. They probably were together for a year and decided they "loved each other so much". A lot of marriages end because of affairs, but if the couples were willing to communicate with the other and let them know they aren't happy, affairs would not happen as much, I'm sure. Or find a way to liven up the relationship.

In my opinion, marriages fail for many reasons: infidelity, lack of communication, unavailability of one spouse for the other, lack of committment, inability to forgive, bad influences.

Becos the couple never actually loved each other or they probably lusted after each other not having the ability to define true love becos Loves forgives

because of selfishness.

Because there is no real love. The very very real love I mean.

Because trust is very fragile and once lost hard to regain.

Because trust is very fragile and once lost hard to regain.

Because there is many difference at many fields.

A long time ago, when my father and mother got married it was a TOTAL committment. For example, When my Mum had a Stroke, my Pop nursed my mother for almost 10 years. She had about 15 strokes in all, each one was worse than the last, until she passed away. Broke my Pops heart. Unfortunately today, I dont think the committment is there any more. It is just too easy to say "AW to hell with it" and get a divorce. I dont know about the US, but here in the UK the divorce statistics are now about 1 - 3 marriages end in divorce!!! When the bad times come, and all marriages have them, you have to work at it, and make it right again. There was a reason why you loved the Boy/Girl in the first place, so surely when it gets a bit rough it is worth a little work??

no its not true

In my case my wife was a ho or

donno

For me it was a lack of everything. I believe my ex loved me but he wasn't in love with me the way a husband should be. He was abusive in all aspects and I had finally had enough and wanted out. I went about it the wrong way but I knew that if I were to stay in that marriage things would only change for a short time and then they would be right back to the way they were. Of course I am the bad guy according to my ex and I am sure he tells my kids that and that is fine because some day they will know the truth about him and see for themselves what kind of person he is. The kids can see that I am much happier where I am now and that is all that matters.