Would You Want to Adopt Kids Your Spouse Had Before your Relationship?

I think it might depend on the ages of the children involved to some extent. Afterall, these children have known another man as their father. That may not change just because the courts have taken away his rights. But, assuming the children were of yound enough age that they would accept such a situation, and desire such a relationship with the "new" man, then yes...I would. If you love the children and they love you, then that is a natural progression. Of course, there are many factors involved and I think each situation will present it's only unique circumstances that can only be addressed knowing all of those factors.

I would want to adopt the kids (especially if the mother isn't in the picture). I think it will make it seem more like a family and I like kids and if I married their father, I would be their mother. I know it's tough and might take some time to come to terms with (for the kids) but I would be willing to give it the time and would personally want to be considered their mother and not their step-mother. Now if the biological mother was an active parent...seeing them often and there was no problem for the kids on that front (it's just that the mother and father couldn't get along) - then I think it wouldn't be fair to the kids to compete with their mother. So, I would then stick to being a step-mother and try to have a cordial relationship with their mother (try and not to make it hard on the kids).

It would depend on their age & what the kids would want. Older kids sometimes only want you to be thier step parent. If the kids were small & wanted me to be their mom then I am all for it. I would have no problem adopting someone else's kids.

I would do this in a heartbeat. If my husband had kids before our relationship, I would be happy to care for them and adopt them if their mother abandoned them. They need a mom in their lives.

sure why not? the kids need to know that they are accepted by you as the step parent and they need a parentel figure that is a woman as well.

Having seen another angle on this one, I do not think it would be wise to adopt the children until the children were old enough to have a say in the matter. If the children already know their biological parent, and know that you are wanting to make them your own child, I would get thier input. I know a woman who had a child right after high school, didn't tell the father of the child, because in her eyes, he was worthless and had a bunch of kids already and he would be a bad influence. She then married a man, who was around the child from shortly after birth. When they got pregnant with a child together, she decided that she wanted the first child to assume the step-dad's last name so that the two children would have the same last name in school so she wouldn't be embarassed. Rather than go through the proper channels, and notify the real father, she applied for an amended birth certificate, lied to a judge, said the child was his, and got the child's name changed. Move ahead 6 years, she divorced the guy, and he got stuck paying child support on the kid, and she knows as well as he that the child is not his, and she continues to lie to the court when it is brought up in child support issues. The child has since found out by accident that he is not actually the child of this man, and now the child wants nothing to do with the man who has been paying child support on him for the last 8 years, and blames him for the lie his mother continues to perpetuate. For anyone considering adopting a child of a current spouse, please be sure that you are fully aware that you will be considered as far as the courts are concerned, that child's parent should you ever get divorced, and regardless of the mother or father refusing to let you see the child after the divorce because they say "He/she isn't yours anyway so you aren't going to see him/her." You have to look at all possibilities. I myself had a step dad that wanted to adopt me when I was in 6th grade. He had been my step dad for 3 years already. I didn't want to give up my last name so I said no, and it was dropped. My mother and step father divorced when I was a senior in high school. Although he never adopted me, he is still my dad as far as I am concerned, and I his daughter as far as he and the rest of his family are concerned, including my step-brother, I'm his little sis. Adoption isn't necessarily the answer. Love is. Last names mean nothing. If you love the child and you want to leave them an inheritance, then by all means, make out a will, leave them a percentage as you would your biological children. Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood.

Hi, As a man, I would dare to say that I may take the step parent role, for a while before deciding to take legal custody. I believe it pretty much depends on the particular situation, the relationship with the kids, can I afford to be completely responsible for the children? Is it in me to be a parent?

i would want to adopt them and be their mom. all kids deserve a warm loving family. and if i had a chance to provide that for other kids i would. they wouldnt have to be my hubbys with someone else. if they were his then they are a part of him. i love my hubby with all my heart and dont know what id do without him.