How to explain to someone that you can't do the favor they are asking
By tolita
@tolita (5)
United States
January 5, 2008 10:03pm CST
I work with emotionaly disturbed children. And I recently (over the past summer) began working for one of the famalies privately. Since then, The Grandmother of the children I care for has asked me to do a one week live in caring for the children, while leaving my own behind while she goes in to have a surgery procedere done. However, she has offered to pay me (after allowing me to believe that she understood the type of monies it would cost to get the care needed for herself and her to special needs grandchildren) an amount much lower than I could ever expect and I don't know how to tell her that i can't do it for at that amount... if anyone could help me with this i would greatly appreciate it. signed uncertain.
4 responses
@jasonanderson (151)
• United States
6 Jan 08
i would just be honest and let her know that my current financial situation wouldn't allow me to take such a pay decrease. she should understand.
@jasonanderson (151)
• United States
7 Jan 08
i wish you luck indeed!
yeah i'm that way too. its hard for me to disappoint people. i guess i prefer telling other people that they should. haha
@Fang_Huang (136)
• China
6 Jan 08
It depends on your financial balance. If you have another option with high lever in payment, bargin with her and say no definitely if they are not satisfy you. But if the job is the only selection, and you have financial problem as well, politely consult with her. If refused, you may stay here and seak a better postion at the same time.
@tolita (5)
• United States
6 Jan 08
Thank you for your response i hope i didn't offend you by requesting you as friend i just didn't know how to read your responce so I pushed all of the buttons offered... I'm new at this. By the way, I like what you wrote and i am in a bit of a financial ditch due to the holidays however, I don't really want to put myself and family out for so little amount.. I'll figure something out i justdont like hurting peoples feelings. thanks again Tolita.
@slothgurl (569)
• Enumclaw, Washington
6 Jan 08
Tell her- No I'm sorry I cannot do it. Very simple. Very easy. Why do people always think they need to have an explaination or excuse? Just plain NO.
@tolita (5)
• United States
6 Jan 08
Hi, and thanks for responding i here you as a matter of fact I here that so often, (why do people do that?) I'm just to emotional i guess and I never want to dissapoint people if I don't have to... but this is one of those times that I guess i have to. thanks again Tolita
@miss_elt (16)
• United States
15 Jan 08
Hi tolita, that is a dilemma. However, I work with Autistic children and the families are always asking one of us to watch their kids for a variety of reasons. Some have worked out great and some not so great. One guy had to wait several months for the money, then the checked bounced. So, my suggestion to you is to as up front and straight forward as you can be. If she has custody of the kids, then she gets help from the govt. for those kids. They have places she can call for respite relief. I am not sure what the # are, but if she calls her Regional Center which handles her case, they can refer her to the proper place. Sorry, this is so late, I just joined mylot and just now saw this and felt I had to respond to it. I hope this helps you. Plus, do not ever do anything without it written down and signed by both parties, and stated you will be paid in cash. miss_elt
