mothers who know too much

Sounds like my mom. I finally had to tell her to mind her own business. I know that sounds harsh, but if I didn't, she just wouldn't back off. It's enough to make one crazy, that's for sure.

Yous SIL needs to stand up to her mother and tell her once and for all. "Mom I love you and I know you just want the best for me and want me to be happy, but I am an adult and I have to live my life the way I want to." "I would never tell you how to live your life so please don't tell me how to live mine." If this doesn't work she needs to limit her dealings with her mother.

Yes its the problem with some. Actually then she should have warned her daughter before she was about to marry that guy! it is jsut ridiculous at this moment. I think its a common problem with many older ladies who are not as flexible as younger generation to adopt changes.

so this is not about the man or his having 2 jobs or drinking on his days off, but about a mother who wants to rule her daughters lives, I believe the sister in law should do what is going to make her happy and the mother will just have to live with it, she will never accept some one she didn't chose, so don't even try to get on her good side as she doesn't have one. it is your life and you do what is best for you and your family, the same goes for the sister in law. mom will keep finding reasons not to be happy no matter what

This is a serious situation. I think it won't be overcomed without hurting one heart. If your sister in law goes according to her wish, her Mom gets hurt and vice versa. I think your sis in law should first make a cool and cosy atmosphere at home and then try to talk to her mother, try to make her understand why she likes the man she likes and why she doesn't want to marry the man her Mom wants her to. If her mother still doesn't agree to her, I think your sis in law should go according to her wish. It will certainly hurt her mother, but she has her entire life ahead of her, and she can never be happy if she is not happy with her marriage decision.

Well, it's a rather complicated world when moms intervene with affairs of the heart. It seems that your MIL is well known for this--that is, having her own choice as if she's the one to live with the partner...at least she should be told that this is her children's life, not hers. Your sis-in-law should go ahead with her plans, disregard mom's harping and barking....you're right. When mom meddles too much, trouble follows. True in your case, too. You've got to be real tough and firm in order to wrestle with her...

Personally, your sister in law needs to just tell her mom that it's time to get out of her business and leave her relationship matters be. After all, it is her life and no one elses. If she's happy and things seem to be going ok, and he's not a mean drunk and what not, and can actually go days without drinking then it doesn't seem like much of a problem. She just needs to tell her to back off and let her live her own life.

I do believe there is some kind of miscommunication between your mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I guess the both of them should take the time out to sit together to have a mother-daughter kind of conversation. Honestly, I think this type of conversation has long been overdue. It should have happened before any wedding plans have been laid out. But anyway, it's better late than never, right?! Your sister-in-law has a reason for choosing who she wants to marry; but something tells me (subconsciously) that your mom-in-law is seeing something unnatural with her daughter's present fiancee. Please don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that there's something wrong (physically or your personality) with you nor your sister-in-law's boyfriend. Being a married individual for almost five years, I've seen the rationale behind my parent's views regarding marriage. Somehow, I did not realize this before I got married though I could say that I was matured enough when my husband and I tied the knot because I was 27 then.

if she really loves this man, she will ignore her mom and just go ahead with her plans. There really isn't much you can do short of ignoring her.

Your sis in law should just ignore the opinion of her mother. While most of us say that mothers know best, in this case she seem to be meddling too much. She should let her daughter live the kind of life her daughther chooses to live. It all about freedom and responsibility.At the end, it will be them (her daughther and her daughthers' husband) that will live together and make decisions in their life. The future husband should also see this as a challenge and prove to her future mother in law that at the end her daughther made the right choice of marrying him.

well first of all, if he's not abusive then who cares how many drinks he has on his days off. the fact that he works two jobs indicates that his days off are probably few and far between...and he has to make up for all those other days he wasn't drinking! its definitely immature of your mother in law to think she can play match maker with adults. you can't force someone to be in love with anyone. any sort of vicarious parental practices are NEVER a good thing. i don't know if this man is aware of the fact that his mother in law to be is pushing another man on her woman, but if it was me i'd be furious, and i would definitely let her know that.