When do you think is the time to end a friendship?

Yes, if you feel it is time to end a relationship, then I think it's alright! Sometimes people change, either you change or your friend changes, it's just one of those things, and the only thing you can do, if you think it necessary is end a relationship that is not appropriate for you! every once in a while you will find a person that never changes, these I have as my good friends!

I think you should be confronting your friend about it rather than ending it up without even giving out reasons to her. just like you said, you've been friends for many years and that she's like taking advantage of you right?.. Isn't it such a long time (maybe 12 years) for you to keep what you are feeling now? Like your keeping a grudge on your own friend without even opening up to her what you think about what she is doing? I won't question what kind of friend you are because I bet you've been a very good friend to her. I think the right thing for you to do now is definitely tell her what you feel. That she has to change and all. It's not that easy to have a friend for 12 years and yet you hide something like that to her. So open up and be real. :) -Best of luck

yes you are true. Friendship is really good but its similarly disturbing when somebody take the advantage of your freindship.I experienced the same and at taht moment i had to end all ties of that so called friendship.

I don't stick around when I know I'm being taken advantage of. It's difficult to stick around especially when you can see that you are being taken advantage of and no matter what you do to try and change it, it just keeps happening anyway because they just find more and more ways to do it. I've had way too many friendships like that and something thankfully always happened to end the friendship before things got too terrible. One friendship hung on for awhile but it thankfully ended once she started spreading lies about things that I was supposedly doing. This person made me out to be a terrible person that never did anything for her but insisted that she do everything for me. She also went on to say that I controlled her life and told her when she could and couldn't do things, which is definitely bull. Her life, live it. So, I ended that friendship. No use in sticking around when I was just being walked all over.

I can relate to this discussion because my best friend and I rarely see each other anymore. It's really bothering me and has been for over a year now. See, we met in high school and bonded over our love of music. We sort of didn't see each other much after high school for a year or so but then we started hanging out a gain. From that time on we were inseparable. We spent every single weekend together just hanging out and having fun. We did every thing together up until about 2 years ago. As a matter of fact I've since found out that my mother thought we were lesbian lovers because we were so close! That's hilarious, we were not lovers but we just really cared abotu each other and we had such a special friendship. I've seen her about 3 times since 2006 and it kills me. She's busy with work and we both have partners now. I always invite her places and over my place but she's always buy with work or her work friends. When we do occasionally catch up we have drinks and she tells me how much she loves me etc but I ust don't know if she genuinely is busy or not. So I don't know whether to end it or not. It's a very difficult situation and if I knew the answer to your question I'd be a lot happier!

I don't know but before you do I think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Maybe she doesn't know you feel this way and maybe she doesn't even realize that she is doing this. If you point it out to her she may see what you mean and she may change it. It can't be easy for you to give up your friendship with her. Talk it out first. Maybe after talking you may even become closer friends because you were honest with her and told her how you feel.

I know exactly what you mean I deal with that all the time, seems like I am not good enough till they want or need something then they act all nicey nicey. I hate that and it has on several occasions made me even hate to see them coming or even their number on caller I.D. If you have the strength, more then me.. I say explain to them why you can't be friends any longer or talk to them about it because if you don't you will continue to be this persons doormat and they will continue on and on like nothing is wrong. Be strong and put it up front what you expect from the friendship and if this person doesn't like it they can discontinue the friendship. I don't have alot of friends it is mostly family and in-laws but still if your tored of it do something to either better it or break it. I sincerely wish you all the best and hope things work out for the best in what ever you decide to to through with.

Hum that one bares some thinking over don't you think? Twelve years is a long time. Perhaps you might think about just distancing your self a bit, with out actually ending it and see if that makes her think. Or perhaps you and her need to have a open discussion and you need to tell her how you feel. Perhaps it has slide this way and she doesn't realize it or doesn't know how to change it. I would at least discuss it twelve years is a lot of years to just throw away, on the other hand it might be possible that you should have thrown it away a long time ago. I guess you really need to weigh it and think it over and as I think perhaps give her the chance to rectify it by discussing your feeling about it. Good luck and all the best to you.

my longest friendship is/was 21 years (will be 22 years at the end of June) and I seriously started thinking about ending the friendship October 2005 when I found out my 'friend' was pregnant (for the 3rd time) when I got an invite to the baby shower and she was 7 months pregnant. I was so hurt (and still am) that our years of friendship seemingly didn't mean anything to her because of the way I was told about her pregnancy. I thought about not going to the shower, but I did go, and helped her out so much at the shower. then fast forward to June 2007, I get another invite. this time to a housewarming party. I get there and find out that...wow, she's pregnant with baby #4. a few months later I get an invite to that baby shower, but I don't go...now I think that my not going has resulted in the ending of the friendship. I don't know when she had the baby (I think sometime in October), I sent her a b-day card, but didn't get a response, sent a Christmas card and didn't get a response. I'm almost afraid to call because I don't know if it'd be a waste of time because the friendship is over or if there's something else that's kept her and her husband from getting a hold me of. and then I have another friend who always complains about not having anyone to do anything with when her b/f is off with his friends. I live 5 minutes away from the girl. all she has to do (and I've told her hundreds of times) is call me or come over and we'll hang out. But no. she'd rather sit at home and mope and when I do eventually see her, she tells me the same thing "I never have friends to go out with...not you, but other friends..." seems she only wants to be my friend when she's truely bored or just to pass the time for when her other (more beautiful) friends get to town and they can go to the clubs. I've just always felt like the one working to keep a friendship going. Like that person(s) doesn't/don't value my time and and doesn't value me. I don't want to just drop them because it'd be like dropping a piece of me, but at the same time, I don't want to be used anymore. Basically what I'm saying is, you have to determine when it's time to end the friendship. when you feel there isn't anything left for you to get out of the friendship. But before you do anything, you need to talk to your friend and let her know that her actions are hurting you and the friendship and see if there's a way to fix it. if not, then maybe it is time to end it.

I've learned the hard way that not all friendships are meant to be lifelong. People change and grow in different ways and a friendship that worked for you when you were 20 may not work for you when you're 35. If you find that a person is no longer bringing anything positive to your life or have become toxic in some way, it's perfectly okay to end that friendship. That said, you should give it the ol' college try. Talk to her about it. It's possible she doesn't realize how self-centered she's been. If she's really your friend, you should be able to have an honest discussion about it. If she doesn't even hear you out, then you'll know you're doing the right thing by walking away.

You could keep your friendship but start her getting usede to the word no so she doesn't depend on you whenever she needs something.If she is always needing something that costs money then help her to improve her income.Maybe she needs a better job,help her to find a better paying job.If she doesn't have a job and doesn't want a job then don't even help her at all.If that is the case then she is a total loser.Try not to hang aroung too much with losers.For me I don't even want to know losers.Set standards for friendships,losers only bring you down.I don't help anyone who is not trying to help themselves.If they are trying to help themselves then they are more deserving of your help.

I guess you should tell her how you feel. If she's really your friend, she'd come up to you and apologize. You've been friends for twelve years, don't waste it. Real friends are hard to find, so keep everybody as much as possible. I'd suggest that you'd sit down with her and try to talks things over. If ever thing doesn't go as planned, then at least you tried. It's her loss if she doesn't want your friendship anymore.

It depends but friends are supposed to be there when they need one another. Friends are supposed to be there when a friend needed them. So maybe you will need her in the future or maybe you could ask her out and tell her you just need someone to talk to and see what happens. See if she will say yes (then good) or she will make excuses (which is bad)

in my opinion,it's not bad when friends can give you the feeling of comfortable back.what is friends?it's who can make you live happy.can lead your life to the happy road.otherwise,we don't need this friend.

I most definately DO think its time to close the door to that friendship...because its NOT a friendship as far as I'm concerned..its a one way street and you are the one doing all the caring and giving and your 'friend' is using that..to me thats NOT a real friend...

ive never really "ended" a friendship., but they have dissolved over the years. you loose contact with people, and your life goes in stages where they are not a part of it anymore. if someone is really bothering you, just start to ignore them, and sooner or later they will get it. no need for bad words between friends, just silence.,,it will usually do the trick.

I ended a friendship in a very nasty way it wasn't my fault you can read the story here http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1364723.aspx. I think for you it's time to end a friendship when she take advantage of you and only uses you.But you can also try to confront her with the situation first,cause a person can change.

Hello dear glityzpurple. I think that it is understandable of your friend as you have been so good friends for twelve years long. You know, some friends are very dependent on their friends. It shows that this kind of friends have more trust on you and take you as their family members. But if you ask her for help, she would also be very happy to help you. I guess that your friend is less mature than my dear glitzypurple. Could this be the reason that causes her to be more dependent on you, please? So please keep your friendship if she is like this and you can have a heart-to-heart talk with her about this to have her more independent. Is it ok, please, my dear friend? Thanks for your discussion very much.

it is so sad to know how long your friendship is,it is for you to decide if you still want that kind of friendship...

This is actually an excellent question because, as you said, friends will come and go. Sometimes it's by will, sometimes by distance, sometimes for other reasons. "Fair-weather friends" aren't the ideal companions. It sounds to me like your friend who you've known for 12 years isn't so much of a friend anymore. That's unfortunate to hear; but if she's never there for you and you're always there for her, that should tell you something right off the bat. I believe it's time to end a friendship (or relationship for that matter) when the individuals involved cannot thrive anymore. For instance, if you're building your friend up, but she's pulling you down, it's not a healthy relationship. It's not fair for you to have to bend over backwards for her when she's not willing to do the same. When I was a kid, my parents always told me I could choose my friends; however, if they were bringing me down and hurting me more than they were helping me, it was time to get some new friends. This is an awesome discussion. The world would be such a better place if only people knew how to be good friends!