Am I a bad Mommy?

Leaving her with someone else for about 9 hours a week is not a bad thing. You need time to yourself too and time alone with her father. You are not a bad mommy.

I think that you are an aweosme mom in this respect! 9 hours a weeks is not many hours to leave her with someone else. I know how you feel about not wanting to leave her though. I went back to work for about 12 hours a week after she was 15 months old, and i couldnt do it, i wanted to stay with her. . it was more like 6 hours two days a week or sometimes 3 days a week. I just didn't want to miss anything! So now i babysit for my friend, and i get to spend everyday with my baby too ;) works out good for my friend and i :) Good luck :) And dont worry you are still a good mom even if you leave her for a little while each day. after all you need a little break too dont you!?

You're not a bad parent for leaving your daughter with a sitter for a few hours a week. I'm not sure if you meant 3 hours total or 3x3hours, but neither would make you a bad parent. I'm sure you interviewed your sitter completely & know she's a good care giver.

No, I don't think so! Nowadays society has to maintain a certain schedule, and time between personal and necessary living has got to be budgeted, and it's not unusual to use babysitters! What is more important that the time you do spend with her is quality time!

I don't think so.Sometimes, you need a time off from taking care of your baby just so to relax.Having a break for couple of hours or a day would actually be healthier.It energizes your spirit and sets your mood.My baby is going 5 months now, and I take couple of breaks in a week.We do need sometime for ourselves and take care of our relationship to to our loved ones and friends.It's like in life, one needs to balance our different aspect of our life.So don't feel guilty about having a time out...All work without play makes one a dull person...remember!

I don't think your a bad Mommy, but you need need breaks. I too never left my children at that age, so we usually did things that we could do together. Like we went hiking and camping and she is old enough now to go to movies, you just to screen the movie first to make sure it is not only for her age, but that it follows your beliefs.. I know my husbands family would freak out because I wouldn't leave my babies, but I am glad I did, I think it did them good.

I consider that good parenting. Kids don't need to be catered to 24 hours a day. Spending time away from mommy and daddy is a good thing. Plus it is good for you. I wish I had that option. We have no one to watch our kids for us. My friends are all busy most of the time and my dad (who we live with) can't handle the baby with his heart condition (she is 21 months old). The last time me and my husband went anywhere without any of the kids was in May 2005. And that was to move. The last time we had a "date" (ie dinner out, just the 2 of us, drinks, adult talk, etc) was July 2004. We have 4 kids and can't afford a sitter. My dad will watch the older 3 for a few hours so we have gotten to go out with just the baby but still...she is there.

Oh hun you are not leaving her all that much. Every parent needs a break. Look at parents that works 4-8 hours a day, They are not bad parents. They do what they have to, to support their family. So do not feel bad that you are gone for 3 hours, 3 nights a week. I used to work and I hated being gone 3 days a week for 8 hours a day but I had to work to keep a roof over our heads. Parents especially mothers need "Me" time and most don't get it very often so don't let yourself feel bad for getting a little time for just you and your s/o. Huggers, StrawberryKisses

no your not a bad mommy. all moms need some quality time away from all our kids and spend time with our families, friends and spouses. Other wise the mommy's eventually get lonely and miss that adult quality time we had before they become mommy's. Its understandable you feel bad for leaving your baby with someone else that much. but you need to have fun too, but what will help that feeling go away is play with your daughter when your at home with her. I am a single mom and I don't get to go anywhere without my son. he's 3 yrs and I can't wait to move by my family next month, then his grandma says she watch to go can go out without him. I miss adult quality time. Be thankful you can do this. be happy and have fun.

You are not being a bad mom for wanting to get out and have a relationship with her father, the two of you need time together also. 9 hours a week is not that many considering there is 168 hrs. in a week that isn't even one third of the week, I think your a wonderful mother and never left her at all for the first 12 months there isn't to mant mothers that can say that. Good luck on your relationship and have a great day!

You are not a bad mother at all. You need to have time for yourself and time with the hubby. Every parent needs this and you are going about it the right way. You are also getting ALexis to trust other people. If you were to stay with your child and not leave her alone she would end up being way to attached to you that would never want you to leave and cry and throw tantrams later on down the road. You are only leaving her for 3 hours which is not major at all. I started my kids very early in life to trust other people and haven;t had a problem with going off. They both love their babysitter and they get along great. Hopefully she doesn't move or anything as they truly love her being around. It is good for children. Once in awhile they have their sleepovers as well with their babysitter. It's great as well as they get along with her. Remember YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER!!!! you are a great mom.:)

No I don't think you are being a bad mom for leaving her for a few hours.Your not going out partying like Britany Spears and neglecting them.You are getting away and spending some time with your husband also.You are still a responsible parent.Nothing wrong with it.

If you don't try to leave your kid how can you imagin your daughter must leaving you oneday. Every mother loves her kid and think the baby would feel lonely without mather. Actrually, babies should try to leave their parents to become a independent human. The earlier, the easier. So don't think you are a bad mother.On the coutrary you are a great mother.

You are absolutely not a bad mom. Like most other posters said, you need time for yourself. You also need time to keep your marriage strong for your little Alexis. I think what your doing is awesome. Keep it up and enjoy yourself. Let the guilt go!

Absolutely not! It's just like shesaid... err said (am I the only one that was amused by that?). Part of being a good parent is being a good partner to the other parent...whether you're married, "together" or divorced. It's especially important for parents who are still together so they don't become parents who are divorced/separated. Your marriage did not start out based on being parents together so even though it has to evolve once the children arrive a part of it needs to be "just the two of you". You're only leaving her for a short time and that's good for both of you...really all three of you.

I Agree that after gaving birth the mother should take care of the baby but for me 12months is enough for that,you need also a time for your self and to your husband,but make sure that the baby is still ok with someones else,.You are not a bad mommy its just that you have to take care of your self too.

thanks for the best response mark...

This has to be your first child. LoL. I'm not laughing at you sweetie. I've been there. And no you are not a bad mom at all. How you managed to say sane without having any time for yourself for a whole year is what amazes me. Not to scare you but separation anxiety sets in for babies around 18 months and your baby will scream and cry the minute you leave the room. She will stop 5 minutes later but you may never know that because you sound like the type of woman who would never make it out the door. Don't let it get to you. Just know that she loves you and knows you love her and she will just be all the happier to see you when you get back.

I do not think you are a bad mommy,in fact if that is all you leave your daughter I think you are doing well.Do you work outside of the home?You are only leaving her for 9 hours total a week,that is not my opinion of bad. Most mothers leave their kids 8 hours a day to go to work and then still go out at night and leave them again.You sound like a great mom to me.Keep up the good work!

I think you would be a worst mommy if you allowed your marriage to fail due to your inability to make grown up time for her father. With that being said most new parents go through the fear of leaving their child, and that their child will all the sudden grow up and hate them for leaving them alone. hahaha. She wont remember and im sure if anything when she gets older she will be thankful that she still has both her mom and dad in the same house.