are they true friends?
By bianx21
@bianx21 (339)
Philippines
January 10, 2008 2:10am CST
How can you tell when your friend is sincere with you? I have two friends,we're always together 'coz we're classmates since first year college...I have noticed that they have the tendency to be dependent on others(most of the time,on me)when it comes to schoolwork,such as assignments,seatworks,quizzes...Honestly,I don't like it because I'm used to doing these kinds of stuff on my own,except for group works.I also noticed that when I'm the one who asks for favor,it seems hard for them to help me.I sometimes feel bad because of this situation but I don't want to stay away from them 'cause I don't want to be a loner anymore and I can't seem to fit anywhere.Besides,we had our moments of happiness too...
2 people like this
10 responses
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
11 Jan 08
If you are really really good friends, then you should be able to say NO to them without it destroying your friendship. The friendship is getting ruined anyway because you are becoming resentful of the favors...they are not being given from your heart. I really think you need to learn to say no to them when you don't feel like helping them. I understand that you are taking a risk of maybe losing some friends but if you do then they weren't really your friends after all and so nothing lost really. And who knows, maybe just maybe, they'll still be your friends after all and you'll feel so much better.
@jsaidmlt (147)
• Malta
10 Jan 08
You know when friends are sincere when they trust you with anything, when you trust them with anything, when they give help without you asking, when you give help without them asking etc. Schoolwork isn't an issue about friendship. Maybe you're just better than them and they love your help in these things, and maybe they are better than you in something else and are ready to help you in that other thing (apart from schoolwork of course)
@chari_dc (492)
• Philippines
11 Jan 08
i guess true friendship is exactly that--how can you depend on one another on almost everything. for now, while you're still in school, it's as shallow as helping one another in assignments. but as years go by, you guys will learn to appreciate one another for your real worth.
@shraddhaswnt211 (418)
• India
13 Jan 08
Dats the problem everyone has experienced in their life...yes you an definitely call them as your friends but they belong to the category of "Self Centred Friends"..these people just seek out their own well beign and r least bothered about others...so well i think you should rely on them any more as these things r bound to happen e1 in future..try to bring this matter to their notice..good if it works or else try searching out for some worthy friends..as its baseless beign with them just because u shared some sweet memories with them...Remember everyone is with you in you happy times but same people are lost when comes to helping in times of need...
@shameh1202 (610)
• Philippines
10 Jan 08
Hi bianx21! You've popped a very interesting topic. I really like issues that concerns friendship. I really believe that no man is an island which means that we really need people around us. These people include our family, friends, and partners in life. Going back to friendship, I know it is never easy to find a true friend. Because we'll never know if these people are just after the things that we could give them. For me, a true friend is the one stays with you through good and bad times. Fake friends are just there beside you when everything seems to be okay. A true friend is indeed like a diamond, precious and rare. Fake friends could be compared to a common stone, that can be found anywhere.
@bianx21 (339)
• Philippines
11 Jan 08
Actually,I don't wanna judge people,but based on your description of a true friend,they seem not fitted for that...I have said this because they seem to be with me when they need something or if there's no problem but when hardships are there,they seem not to care.There was even a time where I tried to stress out that I would not let them copy from me during exams 'cause it wouldn't do them any good.They seemed ok with the idea but I learned from their actions that they were against what I said and judging on their reactions,they think that I was just being selfish...
@theryansurvey (27)
• United States
11 Jan 08
The true test to determine if they are in fact your true friends or not is to go through a HUGE crisis. If they are there for you no matter what, then you have some true friends. Last year I went through a messy breakup and lost a few of what I considered "true friends". Turns out they were only fairweather friends. But after that incident, the people who stuck by my side became the people that I could place all my trust in. It's nice to know that people care that much about you, don't you agree?
@gigarange (1165)
• United States
11 Jan 08
you will know the sincerity of your friends during hardships. Sometimes people present themselves as friends when they need something or they get something from us. It's hard to judge but if your friends are being nice to you and didn't do any harm at all, then they might be really your friends.
@season0907 (671)
• India
11 Jan 08
Hi bianx21,
True friends are like diamonds, they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves, they are scattered eveywhere. So, keep the happy moments and forget the difficult stages but don't part with them.
Good Luck.
@solutions_nikk (62)
• India
10 Jan 08
normally classmates r friends because some willb friends because they might hav started conversion & they hav liked u at first sight .even if u read well also as u said for assignments,seatworks,quizzeseven after u r completion of u r coleege if u r in touch just for a formal talk it may b considered as a step towards real friendship
