How Do You Ever Get Over A Loss Of Your Mom

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As many of you know, my Mom died the end of September. I know that this should be a little bit of time to bring some closure to my life, and be able to move on, but after reading and responding back to someone else's discussion in here that also just recently lost their Mom, it is bringing up a lot of memories for me, and right now all I want to do is Cry. I am really missing my Mom right now. She was 63 when she died, and I feel like she gave up on life too soon. They say her heart just gave out, as she gave up the will to die, and tried to even kill herself last May. This has been the hardest part for me to deal with as I am a Christian, and I tried to help her, but she was so stubborn. When I talked to my Mom around the beginning of September right before I went to New York City and New Jersey on my Vacation, something told me she would die soon, and I was just hoping I was wrong. The day my Sister in Montana called me and said my Mom was dying, I will never forget. I had not seen my Mom in person for like 6 yrs. due to money, etc. but called her all of the time. To me, this was one of the roughest days in my life I have ever gone thru, and I know I will remember it for a long time. I remember going into the bathroom to Pray for God to take her if it was his will, and help end the suffering and within 5 minutes I got the Call that she was gone. I was able to go to the Funeral which was not a Good experience for me, as my Sister in Montana and I do not get along at all, but I am glad I went. Seeing her lying there is still hard to believe sometimes. I really miss her sometimes, and feel like I do not really have anyone I can turn too and talk with like I could my Mom. I guess that is one of the reasons why I continue to enjoy coming here in myLot so I can express my feelings and be able to move on thru this. Thanks for being there.