Lost my best friend

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I wanted to write about the loss of my best friend. He and I did a lot of things together, but since I moved 600 miles away from him (only b/c it was where I had a place to stay b/c I got laid off)I didn't get to talk to him as much as I would like and obviously did not get to see him at all. I just found out on Tusday afternoon, that he was found dead in his recliner at his condo in Connecticut. It has just about devastated me b/c I knew he was sick and would not ever take care of himself the way he should have. Instead, because he felt his life had no meaning anymore and obviously missed his wife (who he lost 13 years prior) he could not seem to get past that or her and felt there was nothing left for him to stick around for. Meantime, he had two children and 3 grandchildren and many, MANY friends who cared about him and loved him. I just do not understand why people get that way. I used to hang out with him every weekend (when I lived in CT..I left there last Oct.) and we would spend most of our time going to our two favorite diners and then just hanging out at his condo watching either sports or some crime show. He and I had such a good time together (even though he was obviously quite sad and not too healthy)and I felt close to him. He would still be alive right now if he had taken the advice of the people he last saw at the diner he and I frequented..I think he really just had completely given up and knew he wasn't going to make it past that day, went home, sat with his cat and took his last breaths there. I miss him so much and what is worse, b/c I am so far away and dealing with a very messed up knee and a lack of extra cash, I am stuck not being able to attend his funeral or anything. It breaks my heart that I cannot be there for him and even though I know he would understand and all I knew who I would be seeing while there also understood my situation, it still bothers me. So, I just wanted you all to read my sad words and I hope this doesn't happen to anyone else b/c it does hurt a lot watching your best friend not care anymore and want to be done with their lives.