From everything to nothing

If you only ever communicated by e-mail, what do you really know of this man's family life? Some long-distance relationships can be good, but I feel that unless you've seen and talked with them on webcam, or met them in person, then you can never really know who they are. My instincts were alerted when you mentioned that he said that a family problem had sparked off this break-up. What does he mean by family? Where does he live? Is he for real, or is he purporting to be somebody else? Over the years, I have learned a lot about online relationships. I have made some very good, and loyal friends on here... people who I will always be here for, but I have seen also, some very disturbing stuff, and my first reaction to your predicament would be to move on. Forget about this guy, because there really isn't anything there. Ok, his final words were, "I love you", but in what way does he love you? Is it as a friend? Is it as somebody to whom he can talk when things go wrong in his real life? Is it something much more? Do you know the answer to any of these questions, or is it all built on thoughts, dreams, and words? My advice is... and I know it's hard, but move on. Think really hard about where your relationship with this person was going, and what you know of him. Find somebody else to spend your time with, in real life, and in future, make doubly sure of your friends on the internet. Make sure they're who they say they are. You can't be too careful, and much pain can be avoided by ascertaining these facts before getting too involved. Brightest Blessings, and I hope you soon heal. I realise I've been quite brutal here, but I apologise for that... it's the only way I can get my thoughts over. I have to speak as I see. Take care, and I hope you find happiness soon. x

Once there is a deep relationship or committment without there being anything to cause you to change your feelings towards that person you will always have a certain amount of love for him/her. It will not be the same as when the relationship was good but it will always be there. You need to just move on. There is nobody worth putting your life on hold for and he is obviously ready to move on. It hurts at first but time heals and it will get easier. Do things that you enjoy and things to help improve your overall quality of life. Believe me one day there will be someone that means just as much if not 10x more. It is hard to believe that right now but there will be. Good luck.

I feel for you. It hurts whether you give the words or he does. Its confusing if you've made promises to each other, for where do you put these promises and what do they mean if they can broken so easily? I say move on, if it wasn't meant to be that really you have everything, the opportunity and freedom to meat your true love. A gift from someone who could see clearly enough that he wasn't that person. Sometimes when we're in the midst of things, we don't see clearly. Yet, I would move on with yourself. Take more steps in reaching goals and growing as a person. Deciding what you really want in life if you haven't already. Then if he asks to start again you can answer from a stronger, more grouned place. I'm so sorry this happened, I wish you only the best. Amy Remember: Thoughts become things - make yours good ones! Mike Dooley www.tut.com

well i think before moving on with life you should try to atleast talk to him once.probably you just drop him an emailthat you are accepting his decision ,however just to make tihngs easier ofr you as well if he could talk to you.if he calls you then try ot know the reason behind his decision.many a times peole think that its better to end up rather than to fight ,however later they repent for it.so i will suggest you that you should try ot get whatis it that is bothering him and if really dont wanna tell you then i think its better to move ahead in life.since life never stops.however by doing so there would be 'if" possiblity left in your life and it will definately make you live your life peacefully.

Let him go. He broke it off and yes he might have said he loves you but it could just be a way of signing off the email. Or else it could just be that he loves you but is not in love with you anymore or that he loves you but just can't do the long distance thing anymore. I hope that this makes sense to you what I have written. I wasn't quite sure how to word it.

Dear piatos03 I am so sorry about your break-up I know how bad it hurts. You don't know what went wrong and if you are using e-mail how can you ask questions they can just ignore you and worse delete the e-mail. To be honest it sounds like he said I love you just so he would not feel so guilty about not breaking up with you in person. If he still loved you he would not have ended the relationship. He took the easy way out by doing it through e-mail and I love you was so you would not get mad. I know this sounds harsh but he kind of sounds like a jerk and I definitely think you should move on. There are some really great men out there who would treat you a lot better. Life is to short to sit by the computer. You should get out and have some fun. I hope you will start by calling some close friends for moral support.It helps to heal quicker by talking it all out with someone you trust. I wish you all the best debbie97420

If this is a long distance relationship, and the only way you were keeping in touch with him was thru Email, it is definately best for you to move on. When someone will not let you contact them any other way, and then tells you to move on, they are hiding something from you, and you would be more hurt if you knew what. I have been in your situation almost 10 yrs. ago. Yes, I was hurt, but knew it was best to move one. 6 weeks later I met my wonderful husband, and we have been Married now almost 9 yrs. So what I am saying is sometimes it is best to move on, and forget about them, as God could have something and someone better out there waiting for you as well.

wow! that's tough! i sure hope you can get over this soon enough. but i was wondering if you were very together in the first place. because that would have been harder. long distance relationship is really difficult. i hope you will come out of this the winner. take care and God bless! :-)

It's so hard to have a long distance relationship and i know how it feels... probably he's just tired of it. Don't make it hard for yourself. I know its hard at first but you have to move on and you'll see for the coming days things will go back to normal. Your still young and just like the old saying goes... there's a lot of fish in the ocean...; choose a good one gurl.

It's so hard to have a long distance relationship and i know how it feels... probably he's just tired of it. Don't make it hard for yourself. I know its hard at first but you have to move on and you'll see for the coming days things will go back to normal. Your still young and just like the old saying goes... there's a lot of fish in the ocean...; choose a good one gurl.

Most of the time... long distance relationshiops are doomed to be over because of the lack of communication and physical time together... i think you should move on with your life and try to find someone more worthy of your time and love... that is the best thing for you to do because i believe that is what he is doing right now... He said that he still loves you to make you feel better... so better no wait for him since i don't think that is what he wants you to do...

Long distance relationships are hard. But one thing for sure, it's definitely a test of the heart. If said for you to move on, then try, I know it won't be easy. But also know, if it is meant for you to be with this man your paths will cross again. My fiance and I had many obstacles, whether my fault or his, wedding dates post poned for whatever reason, him needing space to work out problems, but somehow someway we fall back in line. No matter what type of relationship someone has, when it's been for a long period of time, it's hard to get through the break up. Did you meet him online? Maybe he was married and they decided to work it out, I don't know, but it sounds to me like you are due to know more and deserve a better explanation. I wish you well in healing through this rough time.

The last line was I LOVE YOU? Breaking up with somebody you love doesnt make any sense. Why is the relationship long distance? Is he in the military? Breaking up via email is a bad idea to begin with. I think you need to evaluate the situation and go from there, figure out if you are better off in the long run with or without. Not knowing the history of the relationship makes it hard to advise. Why can't you talk on the phone?

Live your life like normal only now keep your options and your eyes open for new interesting men =)

I don't think anyone here can give you that answer... I really think you should take some time and really think about things.. our feelings can change fast and when things happen its better to think about things for a while because your reaction might be different a week down the road rather then 1 or 2 days... but after you have thought about things and what you really want, if you still really want to make things work, then get a hold of him, maybe through email so there would be no interruptions and just lay it all out there how you feel. if it's meant to be then it will work out, and if not then it wont and you will be just fine. if he isn't the one then your guy is still out there somewhere but you have to let the wrong ones go to get to the right...

If you have no other way to contact him I'd say the relationship was not as strong as it needed to be. You both have telephones? Why haven't you had each other's numbers, at least for emergencies. Frankly, it doesn't sound like it is really a relationship that was deep enough for you to hang onto. Move on.

at least you got an email from him about that, regardless if youre confuse what to do, at least you have something to cling on with his last words...my live in partner for 4 years left me hanging..he is working abroad, then all of a sudden, he went MIA for no apparent reason. I dont know what happen..theres no closure! i felt devasted like you are..but i moved on..the only thing i said to myself, if thats what he want, then fine! i stayed single since then, been afraid to having another relationship..i didnt wait for him, but i didnt get involved with another guy, i enjoyed my being single and the freedom..i deleted everything about him ( of course not the memories ) emails, contatc info, pictures, his stuff, everything went to trash...and you know what..yesterday..i got an email from him..i dont know where it will lead but im sure im not going back to him anymore...

I don't think he should have added I love you to his message if he wanted out of the relationship.Thats a tough way for you to have it ended.I guess you should move on.It doesn't seem like you have any choice in the matter.

"I love you".That is a sweet thing to say. But oftentimes it hurts when those three sweet words are followed by a bitter goodbye. I am sorry your long distance relationship did not go well. I know how hard it is to keep on holding to something virtual. Now, as to whether to move on or wait for him is up to you. And probably him. You need to evaluate the things that are going on in your life. If it is good for both of you to still hold on to whatever you have,then go ahead. However, if it will only do you more harm than good, then move on with your life. No matter how hard it is. You will still find the love that's meant to be. He may have said he loves you. It may be true that he still does but sometimes people need time to think and rethink. If you want, you can still communicate with him. Try to find out what is going on. He may need some help. If it is not too bad an idea, try to be a friend to him and maybe you both will see how you mean to each other. Meeting other people for now may be good but entering another relationship may only confuse you. So I suggest, try to take your time and devote yourself to activities that can motivate you to be more productive.

I can only tell you what I have come to understand in my short time on this planet. If a man breaks up with you... he won't come back. Yes he may still love you, but the fact that he made the step of ending this usually means the end. So many times I have thought that I should hold on, that they would come back to me because they say they still care. But they never do. I'm so sorry for you because I know how hard it is when somebody leaves you without a good explanation & you can't see what went wrong. But you have to be strong & realise that he may be gone, but that only leaves room for soembody else to love you more Nica x