My Sister Is Slipping Into A State Of Depression...

might work to talk to thiose partners and yes going to the caravan might just be the trick. altho as I look at what I did before operation I will list. tham . my daughter says she dont see what I did before she had to take over! DId dishes most of the time ,got garbage ready and out 2 times aweek , watered, cooked , tried to keep house clean with litle one its hard but it got cleaned up at night now sometimes also vac. mopped when I got the chance mostly when daddy got home and took her for awhile.and when daughter got home form work she ate and set and wathed tv till her be d time. what make s me mad she hasnt acknoledage that I did all that. and know she does the hollering at the guy s to help or do their jobs and I laugh to myself and say to myself she is saying the same things I hollered at her and Jimmy to do even when they both were working there was SAt and SUn. to do that extra work and she makes it seem like it never got done and that it takes for ever to get it done now!

Yup, that's about right and she has had nothing but struggles all through her adult life. But, she's overcome and got this far, only to have her confidence shattered. It makes me so sad because she was such a bubbly person. As for talking to the kids, I'm very tempted but afraid I might make the situation worse, as the partners might just connive to put in their oars. I guess all I can do is show her that I need her from time to time and maybe take her off down to the caravan when the park reopens. It might do her good to get away for a few days, and help them to realise how much she really does do for them. Brightest Blessings.

oh forgot also kept the patio washed and cleaned off had to sweep it before washing it and it hasnt been washed off since my operation have a heck of a ime getting them to wash out filter for heat /air. GUessI will have to do that its still out there and needs to be done and changed. THen fellers should do alot with out being told but ya have to put their hands on it before they see. lol Daughter never works outside.

Thank you Deeeky, my friend, for your well wishes, which are returned to you, as I think you know. It's so frustrating to me that I can't be with the people whom I care for so much, when I feel the need to hold them close and physically let them know everything will be ok. We all have trials in life, and I know from my own experiences that if somebody is there to listen and care about what I'm going through, it's so much easier to find the strength within me to cope. Then, when others are suffering, I want to pass those energies on. Sorry... this sounds a bit cryptic but I'm sure you can fathom it. :) As for the driving part of it... I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult a task for me to learn, as I've taken lessons twice previously to the test stage, but I just don't get the enjoyment out of it that others do, and I never bothered to take the test. I find driving quite stressful in fact, and would rather use coaches, trains and planes, where I can relax en route. That's just one of my little foibles. I know it's better to be self-reliant, and it's more practical, but it's not really my bag! Still, I'll give it some thought, even though it's a bit late in the day. :) I still think I'd prefer my Romany Caravan and horse, my friend!!! ha ha ha I'm sure my Sister will overcome this once she starts her new job, as she will be caring for young people, or one particular young person, who is in the same position her Son was in before he passed on. I think she misses all that, and the others are now rejecting her attention, or two of them at least. Aside from that, she is not being permitted to see two of the grandchildren too often and that hurts her deeply. She made the effort to go down to the south coast to see them, on Boxing Day, and was ignored by her Son and his partner the whole time she was there. At Christmas, that is bad, and she was very upset. One thing piled on top of another... a long story... and she got to the point where she came to me and gave out a cry for help, on New Year's Day. I have called her over a couple of times to give me a lift to work, on Sundays, maybe under a slight pretense, but it means she comes over early and we get chance for a quiet chat. She's not cancelled the holiday she booked... she said she needs the break. So, I might well drag her away to my other sister's caravan for a while. I was saving that time for something else, but I feel she would benefit more from the break. Brightest Blessings my dear friend. You take care, and know I'm thinking about you too. x

Yes, she knows all that already, my friend. It's just so sad to see her this way, as she's normally full of life and smiles. I give her hugs and everything and talk to her as much as possible. She's between jobs now too, which doesn't help matters, waiting to start at Chailey Heritage, which is a place for disabled children. She's a carer... always wanted to work there because that's where her son attended the day centre. I think it will be good for her to get started there, because she'll be giving the care that she once gave him, to young people with the same kind of disabilities. Despite it having been hard work, I really think she misses the caring for him. It kept her going. Thank you for your input, my dear friend and Brightest Blessings, on you and yours. xxx

I think she has already been very patient and her inner strength is diminishing by the day. It's pretty dire at the moment and I so want to see her happy again. Brightest Blessings and thank you for your input.

I wish I could get over there and drag her out of it, but I guess I'm going to have to resort to my idea of taking her to our sister's caravan for a few days, as mentioned in GardenGerty's response, number 1. There's no way I can get over there regularly. The buses to Burgess Hill were stopped, so I have to go to Haywards Heath and then change buses for Burgess Hill, which would take forever, even if the buses did connect. Then, there's a chance that she may not be there. She starts her new job shortly but they mucked that one up too. lol. Thanks for your input my friend, and Brightest Blessings. xxx

Yes, you're right, but then I don't want to cause more bad feeling between them. I had already been thinking about us getting away for a few days together, possibly next month, as stated in Response No. 1. Thank you for our input and Brightest Blessings.

Awww, thank you for the thought, MsTickle, but it would take me years, to save money for even a little car here, and even then, the driving lessons, taxes and fuel would be far too high in price for me ever to maintain and run it. I'm thinking about taking her away for a few days, as mentioned in response to No. 1. That might help a little, and just generally keep her talking and on her toes. Brightest Blessings and thank you for your input.

She missed her appointment with the doctor, because she didn't feel like getting ready and going, if you please. I think all I can do is to try and give her some real purpose in life, and timelines, etc. I mentioned in another response that I have been wanting her to make a new robe for a friend, and she's willing to do it. I have a pattern which she might need to adjust and I need to shop for the materials, so I thought that if I took her down to the caravan, we could make it dual purpose and shop together for the materials, and I could take her advice on what to buy. Then, I can ask her to have it done by a certain date? It might just give her a purpose in life, and make her feel that much more important. I'm quite able to make the robe myself, but it will give her something to think about. She's a good needlewoman and loves to produce things for other people. :) Crafty? Naaaaaaaa, I don't think so. It'll be good for her, I feel. Brightest Blessings, my friend. xxx

Awww, thank you Mummymo. You're making me blush! lol. I've spoken to her this morning and invited her out for a meal next weekend, to my favourite, Bali Brasserie. There's a very relaxing, South Sea, atmosphere there, and delicious Indonesian food. She's never been there before so it will be a treat, and her mind will be occupied with me talking, and her experiencing something new. :) I also spoke to her about the robe and she's agreed to come with me and help me choose the materials, etc, and get that under way. I'll keep her busy if it kills me. ha ha ha. She also started her new care job this week, so things are looking up a little... we'll get there. Brightest Blessings. xxx

I can understand her feelings and empathise with them sweety - it is such a struggle to get ready and go anywhere when you feel like that - and you persuade yourself there is no point going to the dr cos they can't help anyway! Sounds like you are doing everything right sweety, you are a great sister as well as a wonderful friend! I don't think you are being crafty - just very, very wise! Hugs xxxx