Is love possible after a certain age?
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
India
January 16, 2008 4:11am CST
So many people I come across or I hear of, fall in love post 50 or 60. I marvel at their resilience, their joie de vivre. But then I sit back and ponder over it and I want to know that is love possible at that age? I mean suppose you have been married for say 30 yrs and your spouse dies. Will it ever be possible for you to love anybody else as you loved your spouse. Or maybe a marriage of 25yrs has cracked and you have divorced…would you have that aptitude in you to try again and seek out someone special and start anew? Is love, post 50, another name for companionship? If so, then do you need to have to have someone to get over your loneliness? There are so many options to keep one engaged, so many things to indulge oneself in. then why seek love with the awareness that this may not last for long and you may again have to go thru the pangs of separation? Is it the same as falling in love in your youth, when the colours of the world were still unknown to you? And what about the physical aspect of love? Do you feel like starting to love someone physically all over again at that age? What makes you want to start life afresh when you can actually enjoy life like a free bird with warm memories of golden summers?
16 people like this
28 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
16 Jan 08
Oh there is a lot of questions there, I think love is different for everyone, and I believe young love is different to mature love but it all makes you feel good, I have a friend who get married for the first time when she was 63 years ols and it is a beautiful thing to see.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
16 Jan 08
I guess everyone is different and i have heard a few say never again but when that feeling of love hits you it can change your mind about anything...
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Jan 08
Wow, they surely have open hearts to be able to welcome someone different time and again. Thnx for the response.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Jan 08
Married for the first time at 63 is different. You are entering into unknown realms for the first time and that childlike curiosity about life is most natural for those who are young at heart. But what I wanted to know is for people who have been there, done that. How do they feel like starting the same process all over again at that age?
2 people like this
@kazey901 (173)
• United States
16 Jan 08
I believe love knows no age. I've seen people fall in love all over again after 50. My mom is one. Now some of them fall in love, but don't love them more than their spouse of 30 or so years. Their is a difference between true love and love. Their spouse was their true love and their new other is their love. That can happen all the time. I find it amazing that people can fall in love all over again after spending their life with another for so long.
2 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Jan 08
Yes, exactly I find it amazing too. I mean how can you look at someone else the same way you looked at your spouse. Does this love stay? I can understand late 30s, early 40s when you are still young, you can look at life’s adversities in the eye and you know that you have to carry on with your struggles. But post 50 most of us have grown up children with even grandchildren, our troubles are less and we look forward to peace. How does someone dive into something as turbulent as love at that age? Anyway, thnx for responding.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
16 Jan 08
Well I'm not quite 50, and my divorce came after a 16 year marriage, and at the time I felt that I didn't need anyone in my life. I had family, and at first I took that time to like me again. But after a year, I wasn't looking, but found a wonderful man, and he and I have been together 3 yrs now. And it's nice to have someone to share life with, to share accomplishments with, someone to talk to about anything or nothing. It is not the same as falling in love in youth, hopefully you have learned a lot. Age has nothing to do with falling in love, or having a physical relationship with someone.
2 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Jan 08
Well, if you are not quite 50, then you do have a lot of things to look forward to. This doesn’t mean that for those on the other side, life ends at 50. what I wanted to know is that since all relations entail a certain amount of responsibility, you have to do certain things for the other person and for both of you, do people who are ‘aged’ have that energy, that purpose, that desire to take up the baton again? It seems from all responses here that they do, even at 80! Its amazing really. Personally I would let go if something happens to my marriage. I would not like to walk the trodden path again. For me, once is enough in one lifetime!
1 person likes this
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
16 Jan 08
Well I am only 29 so I am not an expert in this area. I think age shouldn't play into when you can fall in love and when you can't. I'd like to think that you can fall in love at any age.
I don't know how it would differ from when you are younger because I can't relate. Maybe having more knowledge of life would change certain things?
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Jan 08
yes maybe, but at 35 I am sure that I would not have the energy left in me to fall in love all over again, with all its highs & lows and responsibilities, at maybe 50+.
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
16 Jan 08
Yes, love is possible even at 100 years. Nobody is resistant to love no matter how had you have been hurt in the past. I have an aunt of mine who is 61 years now and she is deeply in love again. she is been to 4 marriages that did not work and now she is determined to learn from mistakes and live happily ever after with the current boyfriend who is a widower aged 64.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Jan 08
she certainly has a never-say-never spirit…4 marriages and still looking for love!
1 person likes this
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
16 Jan 08
Love it dosent matter how old are you, because love is no limit for all human being even animal have feelings for love, so no matter how old are you if you really love who care.
1 person likes this
@smacksman (6053)
•
16 Jan 08
After 37 years of marriage I would hate to have to go 'on the market' again but if required I would do it for sure.
Love? Well that is a word much put about and with many different 'flavours' attached. I use the word VERY sparingly and only for very special people.
But yes, I think I may be able to love again if I was lucky in finding a good lady. Well first of all I would have to be very unlucky to loose my wife. haha
1 person likes this
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
29 Apr 08
Love has no age barrier. I am 56 years old and had virtually given up on ever finding love again after my divorce but it happened and I am feeling like a teenager again. My partner is younger than me, and we are both really happy together.
@aissha (2036)
• India
16 Jan 08
hi sudipta i'm 32 now married happily for last 5 yrs. but u know what it feels like i'm recently awake and seeing life is soo much only u need to hv an eye ,no i'm not seeing ,i'm working on my daughter and in this way i'm learning so much it feels i hv new eyes or new brain whatever.
i can see around so many things happening so i'm sure anything can happen anytime. plus i read article on it where people of this age are getting married after faling in love(joy ,reader's digest)
2 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
16 Jan 08
Hi Aissa,
32 and happily married is the way to be and I wish you many more happy years together. What I want to know is that suddenly after 50 if (God forbid) you are divorced or widowed, will you seek and encourage another love with someone else?
1 person likes this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
17 Jan 08
In my view the capacity to love...is an ageless/timeless thing. The examples you site are good ones...and reveal the complexity of love at any age. To me it is all about where a person is as they venture along their soul path. Some are old and jaded at a young chronological age...while others are open, enthusiastic and willing to continue living abundantly until they draw their last breath.
Falling in love after losing a great love is possible...once again depending on the individuals mindsets, life experience, attitude, general health and other co-factors.
So like most things in life...the answer to this question has many answers...but it all comes down to personal choice in my view.
Raia
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
18 Jan 08
Yes, personal choice is the key here I think. You may or may not choose to fall in love again. Thanks for this perspective.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Jan 08
Thnx, its nice to know old people all charge up again.
1 person likes this
@VeronicaClarke (84)
•
16 Jan 08
Wow, that is an awful lot of questions. I believe that no matter how old you are, no matter who you have lost, you can always learn to love again. I don't think it will be the same as the 1st head over heels emotions you felt, but it can feel just as good. I don't think age comes into it, I hope I am still as vulnerable, goofy and romantic when I am older as I am now. I think lonliness does come into it, but then, isn't that why most people find partners, no matter what age. I have a 20year old friend that sticks with her boyfriend no matter how horrible he is to her just because she doesn't want to be alone.
I hope, that being older only makes you stronger. You realise how much you will & will not put up with & helps u make better decisions
Nica
x
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
18 Jan 08
Yeah, I can understand…but doesn’t disappointment crush you more when you are old?
@chitrab (3)
• India
17 Jan 08
love is a must thing in life, whatever the age the individual is in. Being loved is wonderful. That love should be clean and pure. Lonliness is a sin. What is wrong in making a companion at older age. If u r surrounded my good friends and relatives , no need of getting a companion for your own. if not , it is nothing wrong in having a partner. Afterall we are living the life only once, with a nice partner we can do wonders to the world and for yourself. life is a very long sweet journey, travelling alone never make the trip enjoyable.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
5 Apr 09
Personally I think Love is possible at any age. There are people that can easily get Remarried to others and be quite Happy. It really is a matter of choice, and finding that special someone. For me, I think it would be hard to do it all over again after loosing a spouse especially if it had been a long time, but that is a personal choice for sure.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
8 May 09
yeah! So it seems from so many responses with the same idea
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
29 Apr 08
Yes i believe it is possible as long as both parties had the same chemistry no matter age , they will be together yea .
is love and companion different???maybe we should start another discussion on it!
i have to go now,will be back in an hour!! @zhwbeast (326)
• China
17 Jan 08
In my opinion,love could not affected by the age although the person is old enough and the distance of age for the partners is large.Love could accross everything.
There maybe some reasons for the old people get in love:his children was busy with job and he have less things to do because of the age.So he often feel lonely and would get in love if he meet the person he like.
1 person likes this
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
3 Apr 09
The first respondent said it perfectly "love knows no age". Although I think that romantic love is kind of out of bounds for toddlers and the kids because they're still psychologically immature on that aspect (and is really not one of their primary concerns in day to day living).
I would like to think that when I reach 50 or 60, I would fall in love again... with the same man that I spent the previous decades with. I think it would be wonderful to keep on falling over and over again for the same person - it would keep the flame burning :)
Thanks for the response on my discussion!
@oyenkai (4394)
• Philippines
9 May 09
I think it's very difficult to fall in love again after one very long relationship. However, sometimes people do need someone to witness their life with them. I think nothing is impossible :D
I think that the companionship between lovers is important, and is actually a vital ingredient in nurturing the relationship :)
@agrim94 (3805)
• India
14 Apr 09
Love knows no limits and certainly age is not a limit. yes in India or countries like India there is so much social pressure and family pressure that you cant have a love in old age but everyone needs love and with age the physical love is rather less but love for companionship is more. As when you get old your children grow up and start their own life and with more and more families being nuclear now the old ones mow are alone and loveless. They need someone to be with them who would love them, talk to them and take care of them and let them take their care so love can happen at any age and yes in old age too
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
8 May 09
yes, loneliness is a big factor but isn’t if more of a hassle to start all over again?
