Marriages on rock
By subathra
@subathra (3519)
India
January 17, 2008 12:36am CST
Indian parents with wrong intention look for grooms who work in USA or settled in USA for their loving daughters. They think their daughters if they go abroad will lead a financial steady life. No doubt software engineers who works in US are paid well and leading a luxurious life. If that is so why these guys need fat dowry from Indian girls when they marry the Indian girls they suck the blood of the girl’s family. Once settled in US these Indians girls are not leading a peaceful life instead they are ill treated, tortured by boy’s family.
At least the boy concern is attached to the girl it is ok.since they feel there is no support to these girls in US they torture demanding more dowry. How long and how much the Indian parents can afford to pay for the sake of their daughters life. When some girls take negative step reporting the matter to the police then the torture increases.
It appears that us police is not much concerned in this kind of dowry harassment matter. When matter is worsening these girls return to India or brought to India. It is an opportunity for the boy to remarry. Here even the Indian police could do much to help these poor girls. There are such cases pouring in Indian police stations in the recent years.
Indian parents why not give their daughters in marriage to some working in India so that if something goes wrong to their daughters action could be taken appropriately.Iam stressing this point because in the recent past one could read lot of such above said cases in newspapers.
Easy money will not in any form make us happy.so why dont these guys realise this and stop tortunring women in the name of dowry anymore..
1 person likes this
10 responses
@fordgtdeb (131)
• Australia
17 Jan 08
why have a dowry for a marriage in the first place and why parents look for a groom when should be up to the girl/lady to do that about time India was like others places let them find there own man that would truly look after them properly.
Also the girl should report any torture to the police over here would be dealt with and agree that Indians police should also do something about it.
Time for change there I think.
@Buttercup26 (164)
• India
17 Jan 08
subathra, The dowry issue has been existing in India for ages. No one has been able to change this even though we say that we are developing rapidly and are becoming more modern. This issue has many angles to it. Parents should indeed be advised not to rush into getting their daughters married off to NRIs not just boys from US hastily. They should be in a position to know everything about the family, then talk to their daughter and get her consent. They should strive for things that they cannot achieve and then spoil the girl's life. The dowry system has to go for sure. It should be given or taken! Though there are cases of harrassment of Indian brides abroad, there are also happy couples. Indian brides need to be aware of the evils in today's "modern" world!
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
18 Jan 08
Love should be the main reason for getting married, not migration or financial benefit. Indian women should be empowered to become more independent. Relying too much on their man makes them prone to abuse.
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
26 Jan 08
Without thinking people are going crazy about NRI & money.Money is the driving force & so is the thinking that in western countries we don't have to face any proble,m.They ignore many thing just seeing money go for marriages .so the daughter has to suffer.
@rb200406 (1824)
• India
26 Jan 08
Actually it is the way lots of people specially the modern woman have started to think they consider modern dress to be showing that they are modern.Actually the thinking should be modern.I have read about this case in paper.She must have wore really indescent dess.Appropiate dress is a must .
@5SCPapaLou1 (143)
• United States
17 Jan 08
During the 4 years I worked for a Indian family in the USA,
I learned a lot about dowries and marriage. They had three
daughters, the oldest about 20 who was in college studing to be a doctor. He told me that after he and his wife finds
a man for marriage to their daughter, they would leave the ultimate decision up to their daughter. Further, it was abundantly clear that both the mans' and womans' family looked for a mate who had at least equal or more wealth,
standing in the Indian community, education etc. I also got the impression that the area of India from which the family came from or lived in played an important role.
The niece of the man I worked for married a non-Indian
while I was working for him. Her family was very much against the marriage, but when the marriage took place, all
of her family attended. My boss told me that the Indian community would shun(he used a different word) for her marrying outside the Indian community. Most Indians I have met here in the US still adhere to their traditions but quite a few are now challenging the arranged marriages.Don't you believe that mature adult Indians should be able to choose their own mates?
@ghanashyam (21)
• India
27 Jan 08
deplorably the position has only slightly improved , here in india.
but i am very amused to see that the divorce rate US is much more than in India. !!!!
what do you say?
www.shaila-free-style.blogspot.com
@r0ck_r0ck (1952)
• India
17 Jan 08
well uh its not like evry couples is living thier life this way, in my opinon ur totally wrong this thing has nothing to do with USA or sometihng i dont blame the parents either all they do is look for a guy with whom thier daughter will live in peace. but yah there r ppls like that too who do all that bad things to the girl n the parents n its not like only the usa software enggiers r doing this, there r this kinda ppls evrywhere.
ps: i ma software engg n going to settle in usa, n i am not a bad guy. :P
@subha12 (18441)
• India
17 Jan 08
First of all a + ratings for the so much appropriate discussion. I have exactly 100% same idea as yours in this matter. I have seen many parents do this judgement when marrying off their daughter in arranged marriages. Moreover, if the groom is abroad and settled there, who is going to take basic background check about him if none from girl's family stays there?
Parents I think do not see the potential risk at first place.They think daughters will lead a luxurious life.
But is it the case always?
I think you are absolutely right that the girls are tortured and ill behaved most of the cases.
I think Indian parents should raise awareness in this situation.
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
17 Jan 08
Hi suba
u r right
its really serious issue
but the siruation in india is not good
and sure indian families settled abroad and boys working abroad prefer to have indian girl so family culture can go on
the best thing is to be more vigilant and take precautionary measure before doing it
try to get along through relative or ome one who knows the family and groom to avoid problems later
every parent want that their daughter lead peaceful and happy life after marriage and due to this and lack of nice and appropriate match such things happen. other thinh match making sites and people also play role in it
as far as dowry is concern, sure its worse tradition of our culture, now educated youngster must discourage it,
hope our youth can come forwards and educated families can stand to eliminate dowry from culture slowly and grasdually
wish u best of luck
bye
@season0907 (671)
• India
17 Jan 08
Hi subathra,
I don't agree with you, because you are taking few incendents to come to that conclusion.If you take percentage wise there are number of Indian couple who are living happily.
I do agree that there are few, who are harrasing their wife and it is not only in arranged marriages but also in love marriages.In fact there are more problems girls are facing with the love marriage.
Why is that only American settled grooms, even here in India, in the home land itself there are number of cases of harrassment is being reported daily.
The bad grooms are everywhere in this world.
Good Luck.
