Please explain this to me....like I'm a 5 year old.....

Is the opinion "unbiased" or "uninformed"? If the person responding doesn't know the facts about a situation, how can anything they say be helpful? And I don't see how you could not talk to the people in your life about the situations you are asking strangers "opinions" on. Maybe it seems like pulling teeth because you aren't really trying to talk to them yourself. Maybe you need to be direct. Then again, maybe you just don't like the opinion they are giving.

Of course people don't post every ounce of information about a subject in their discussions. Discussions would be 10,000 lines long and never get read if people were to start doing that. So sure, ok, the opinions that are being given are coming only from the information the commentor has available to them. But obviously the poster of the discussion feels that information is adequate for people to form an opinion. And again with the not talking to the people involved in the topic in real life.... I for one will not badger someone to talk to me about anything. I ask once maybe twice what is wrong and if I am told nothing then I am taking that as truth and letting it go. If the topic isn't something that can be brought up in a "What's wrong" conversation then the other person is just as capable of coming to me and saying "Hey why don't we talk about this"? It's not like I am the only one who thinks these things are topics that need to be addressed.

But if the topic poster is the one deciding what information to give, then aren't they just giving the information they want the repliers to hear/know? Doesn't that stack the deck? As for the rest...I agree. If you ask hat is wrong the the person says nothing...then take it at that. Either it's the truth or they just don't want to talk about whatever it is at that point. That doesn't address the situation where the poster has something to talk about and doesn't raise it with the people/person in real life. Mot people aren't mind readers.....they need to be told there is something bothering the person. Or at least WHAT is bothering them. You can't blame a person for not talking about a problem or situation that they don't even know is a problem or situation. And asking for opinions from people online isn't going to getthe poster any closer to having that talk with the other person. At least not until they have heard enough of what tey wanted to hear in the first place to make any conversation they do have meaningless.

Isn't that refreshing?.....to be portrayed as somehow putting myself above others simply for asking a question and responding to the replies I get. First of all, I know we all leave out the "unimportant" details. Hence the problem. Just because we see it as "unimportant" doesn't mean that it is. In fact, that just may be the detail that is causing the difference in opinion or would sway an opinion. Secondly, leaving out something that may "make us look unfavorable", si exactly the point. It may be very important but it is left out of the explanation. Then any opinion that is rendered is skewed. Thirdly, I don't work through everything logically on my own. I seek input from the people who know me and whom I know and trust. Finally, I don't necessarily trust myself implicity. I just know that I would trust myself before someone I don't know from China or Uraguay or somewhere. Obviously, they have no stake in the outcome and if their "opinion" results in a worse situation for me...what do they care? So, I think I have my answer on the subject. Thank you all for your input.

That may be true, but if the person you are seeking an opinion from doesn't know you or your situation, then how can their opinion mean anything? Thanks for the reply though.

How much they know, depends on how muc information you give. If you explain the full situation (which many people on MyLot do) then the person giving advice does know everything they need to form a vaild stance and give good advice.

But if the poster only gives the bare minimum of information...or only the information they "feel" is necessary, then aren't they just stacking the deck to get ansers/opinions that support what they want to hear? What's the purpose of that?

You know, this has also been a question of mine eversince. But I thought of not posting them here, because lots of the members won't even admit that most of the times they are just looking for something that would agree to what they believe in. Not too forget, most of us are also here for some earnings.

I agree with that....that was sort of my confusion. If the poster controls the information that the commentors have, then aren't they really just looking for people to respond and agree with them? What good is that?

I do get what you are saying but i'm not sure I entirely agree with you. Of course it is best say in a relationship for the 2 people to work things out together. Sometimes that is not so easy. We sometimes need some outside input. In such a case, I do really feel it would be fairer to seek opinion from an unknown party rather than air our dirt with my friends or our mutual friends. That can be awkward you know when things pass and get better or even if they don't. whatever I say about"us" is his personal business as well as mine. Of course if we have a disagreement and I seek advice and venting then the deck will more than likely be stacked in my favor because obviously i am not understanding his side at all nor he mine thus the argument. sometimes simply venting and knowing that others out there understand me helps and then I'll figure it out from there on my own without my friends or anyone pushing me to do what "they" think I need to do and without having to answer follow up questions. sometimes just talking out about a problem helps and we don't really everyone we know to know our personal business and this is a way to do that.

It just makes more sense to me to work out your problems or situations with the person or people who are involved. Afterall, doesn't it really come down to how YOU and THEY see the situation? John Q. Anonymous from Indiana or China or wherever can't really give you much insight on the circumstances facing you. Especially if the poster only gives them the information the poster wants them to have.

I think you are making a huge deal out of nothing - like unto the saying "you can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can't please all the people all the time" It could be stacking the deck as you say, but only if you let it. Why are you even asking in the first place? Are you really asking to actually solve the problem? I dont' think so. If you ask for help, cause that is human nature (well, for many it is!) When you do a report, do you just write your report with only what you know about the topic or do you go to the library and read books about it and collect information you think is good for your report so you get an A? You have to look at it as not "getting an answer" but as "collecting information" and then you and only you can take all that info and make the desicion you think is best. Another set of eyes could see things you don't cause you have looked at it all for so long it is all "running together" and you miss things. The opinion or thought of someone totaly not connected to the personal part of the problem (or you) can often see things clearer cause they aren't bogged down with all the personal issues. And just cause someone has "been there, done that" still doesnt' mean they have the answer. IT worked for them but that doesn't mean it will work for you. But at least it is on the positive side of the argument. If you don't want to take advise from someone that has experience, and you don't want to discuss with someone that doesn't know the whole story, and you don't think you should talk with someone close to you, then the solution is simple. Talk to yourself. Yourself is the only one that knows the whole story, you know yourself so you can trust that and yourself has been there done that. Yourself satisfies all the criteria you are questioning so ask yourself and do what yourself says!

I agree to an extent. But that is sort of my point. You ahve to gather as much information as you can to make the best decision. So, how can a stranger online give you any sort of competent input when the poster is the one who controls how much information the commentor has? The poster is getting a lot of input but that input is based on limited information that the poster provides. Again, stacking the deck to get answers that conform to what the poster wants to hear probably.

If they don't know exactly what's going on, then any input they have to give is likely going to worthless. Advice and opinion has to be based on knowing the facts and circumstances surrounding the situation.

u would tell them wuts goin on...it helps to get an outsiders point if view