People who abuse kids?

@neelygal (1022)
Bahamas
January 17, 2008 1:13pm CST
Why do you think some people abuse their own kids?I would never be able to bring myself to do that.I spank mine when they are rude or need to be disiplined but never allow my temper to get out of control.I think that it might be because they themselves were abused as kids they feel that they must behave the same way that their parents did.
3 people like this
18 responses
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
17 Jan 08
well kids DO need discipline to a certain extent, but abuse on kids is beyone comprehension...there are definitely some people that should NEVER be parents!
2 people like this
18 Jan 08
i think kids do need discipline, but there are many ways to discipline your child. i dont agree at all with abusing your kids in any way, i think spanking your child could be wrong. if someone smacked me for doing something wrong i would have something to say about it, but wouldnt necessarily learn from it. in the same way, a child may think that way. i think the best way to discipline your child is with patience and understanding, i mean overall you as a parent are a teacher. you should teach your child not to do certain things. i think that a quiet word in the ear and telling them why they should not do it is good enough and when that does not work, then discipline them by taking away their privelages. i do think that some people arent born natural parents and i think these people should also be educated in the way they treat their kids.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
18 Jan 08
I have no idea. I guess it is because their fathers or mothers beat the stuffing out of them, used cords instead of their hands, and so they think that is the only way to get their children to behave. But they could change. You do not need to spank for every little thing. Most parents learned that they did not need to take their son to the woodshed and beat him with a razer strap, and the grandfather learned that he did not have to whip his son and cause welts like his great grandfather did. So most people learn that now the only time a child needs a spanking if he does something deliberately that would cause great danger. Those abusive parents are still stuck in the past of their ancestors and have no gumption to change their ways.
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
18 Jan 08
I think there are many different reasons, and they're all unacceptable. Some parents thing it's OK to hit because they were hit. Some parents do not know how to cope with the stress of being a parent. Some may not know a better way to parent, or think that their methods are working.
1 person likes this
@stacy624 (2776)
• Canada
18 Jan 08
In your opinion what do you feel is abuse? for some people, not myself but others feel that a spank is abuse. Stacy
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
17 Jan 08
I never abused my kids when they were growing up...but my ex husband did. He was abused by his mother....and he continued the circle. When my daughter was just two and potty training he was coming down the hallway taking off his belt to whip her because she wet her pants.....I was four months pregnant at the time and I met him halfway down the hall and knocked him out...I told him no one....not anyone in this world was going to do that to my kids...His theory? Well that is how he was raised and he turned out all right! Bologna!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jan 08
I agree, I think alot of people who abuse were abused or are just not mentally stable. I notice alot of people that abuse have many things in common, either way I do not agree with it and I think higher measures should be taken to stop abuse of any kind.
@Darkwing (21583)
18 Jan 08
I'm not sure that your view is correct there, as I know a few people who were physically and mentally abused as kids, and they seem to have become better persons for it. Maybe it's that I only know a small portion of these people, but I certainly haven't come across a bad one yet. I think it's more post natal blues, or a mental disorder whereby they can only control their tempers for too long. In other words, it's possibly an illness of sorts. Some people can only put up with a baby crying for instance, for so long, and then they snap. There's no excuse for them, but that's sometimes the way it happens. Others have probably been allowed to continue in bad role play as children, with their dolls, etc. Who knows the real root cause, but I'm with you as I think the majority are... I never even spanked my kids as such. All I did was slap the back of their hand, or the back of their leg, between knee and ankle. The main part of rearing a child well is to listen and understand their needs. Spending time with them is all important... mine grew into lovely men, and their children are the tops! I'll never really understand how people can beat their kids or throw them around a room, etc. I worked as housemother in a home for socially deprived kids once, and some of the things these kids had had done to them by their parents, was pitiful. It pained my heart. Brightest Blessings.
@dta_kitty (191)
• India
18 Jan 08
I believe its because they are not mature enough to handle kids.Their ignorance of how important the kid's feelings are in his/her childhood in making them adult citizens later on,is the reason for this behaviour.Most of the times ofcourse, they (parents) have been abused in their childhood or atleast wrongly abused with the thought of disciplining.It has to end.Otherwise those kids will never be able to make it any good in the society later on.Disciplining is allowed but not out of anger or rage.Even while disciplining,the kids should be made known of why they are being spanked etc.
• United States
17 Jan 08
i agree people who abuse kids have probably been abused themselves and don't know how to handle situations like that in that case they need to get therapy or something because it could lead to more psychological problems than before
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jan 08
People that abuse their kids should never have had them.I believe this is how we get rapists,murderers,child molesters in our society.We would have a better society if we just didn't have these child abusers and molesters ect.having children.A lot of times some people abuse their kids because they have been abused themselves.
• United States
19 Jan 08
Some people do it for that reason but being abused yourself is no excuse to hurt your children. Then there are some that had not been abused and they abuse thier children. So it's hard to say exactly why but there really is no good excuse.
• United States
20 Jan 08
I will never understand how people do that. I was physically, sexually, and mentally abused as a child. When I had my first son I was so scared I would abuse him...not because I wanted to but because that was all I knew.. I do spank my children but when I get really mad or have had too much..I give myself a time out..I could never see myself inflicting intentional pain on my children...
@david2005 (798)
• Canada
5 Feb 08
People are brought up a lot of different ways and a lot of people don't see it as abuse when you hit a child because that was the way that they were brought up,they don't know any difference or any better so they treat there child the same way that they were treated.
@sugaree (109)
• Philippines
18 Jan 08
not all people who abuse kids have been abused in the past.. some, after experiencing such brutality from their parents vow not to let their children experience the same thing... though there are some who still abuse their children.. maybe those people just dont have conscience.. i wonder how they can sleep at night knowing they ruined a child's life and broke a heart.. it could cause trauma to a child, you know... children are supposed to be loved, and it should start within the family. the child should feel secure despite the very cruel world around him/her...
@youless (112595)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Jan 08
I don't agree to it at all. If you treat them violent, perhaps they will act the same. Chilren are their parents' copies. I never spank my child as it's a kind of violence. My child is still very little now. So sometimes it's hard to explain to him what he shouldn't do and why it is wrong. Usually I will tell him that I am angry with him, so leave me alone. I calm down and then after he has a good mood, I will tell him not to do the same mistake again.
@emrald1 (48)
• India
18 Jan 08
I dont know why people abuse their kids, But definetly kids need to be in control. But I am very sure there are other ways of controling them. People dont realise what impact these elder ones will leave on these kids. And i agree to you may be they also have faced things like this in their own childhood times perhaps.
@Haiden123 (126)
• Canada
18 Jan 08
I agree i couldnt hurt my son i would yell at him though but i couldnt hurt him.