Huckabee's Bill of Rights ;~D

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Amendment I Congress shall make no law disrespecting the one true religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of true Christian speech, or of the press (With the exception of the Watchtower); or the right of congregations to assemble, and to petition the Lord for a redress of grievances. Amendment II A well regulated crusade, being necessary to the security of a God fearing state, the right of true Christians to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. Amendment III No Heathen shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, even with the consent of the owner. Drawing and quartering of heathens will be done outside in a manner to be prescribed by law. Amendment IV The right of Christians to be secure in their persons, houses of worship, Biblical papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall be issued against Christian Ministers, even with probable cause. Supported by oath or affirmation by Christians, and particularly describing the place to be searched, Heathens persons or things may be seized. Amendment V No true Christian shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime. Their heathen relatives may be presented (in their place) for indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in Christian service; Their heathen relatives (taking their place) may be subject for the same offense may be put in jeopardy of life or limb no more than twice; nor shall a true Christian be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against his Brother, nor be deprived of right to life, liberty, or property. Heathens may not be entitled to due process of law; private property may be taken for true Christian use, without just compensation. Amendment VI In all criminal prosecutions, the heathen shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by a true Christian jury of the state and congregation against which the crime shall have been committed, which congregation shall have been previously ascertained by law. The Christian Judge and Jury are to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation. To have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense. Witness and Counsel for Heathen defendants will then be held in confinement (and exorcised) for consorting with devils. Amendment VII In suits at Christian law, where the value in controversy shall be one’s immortal soul, the right of trial by true Christian jury shall be preserved, and no damnation imposed by a true Christian jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the Christian law. Amendment VIII Excessive tithes shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted upon true Christians. No opportunity for bail shall be offered heathens. Amendment IX The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by true Christian people. Everyone else, you’re on your own! Amendment X The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the Southern Baptist Ministers respectively, or to the members.