Who do your children behave better for?
By gettinggreen
@gettinggreen (125)
United States
January 18, 2008 11:09am CST
I'm just curious because my 20 month old is constantly testing the limits with me, but with my husband she is a piece of cake. For instance, we got her this new tricycle and with him she does what she should and rides around the block on the sidewalk. When I take her she is constantly trying to get into the street. So the entire time I'm putting her back on the sidewalk then she goes back into the street. This cycle repeats over and over until I finally pick her and the tricycle up and bring her home crying. When she stays with family members they always say how easy she is to take care of because she doesn't cause any trouble. Why does she save it for me? Our days are filled with her trying to see what she can get away with. So all day long, I am standing firm and not giving in so someday I can have the child that everyone is telling me she is. It's exhausting though. Am I doing something wrong? Why has she chosen me to be difficult for? Do any of you experience this with your children?
3 people like this
6 responses
@shymurl (2765)
• United States
18 Jan 08
Children are always going to behave better with someone else. Even when I was a kids I always behaved better with someone else. I have three kids and at first I was pulling my hair out. But I stood my ground and as they got older I was able to talk to them and explain to them the rights and wrongs and now things are alot better. Its kind of funny cause my husband never had any problem out of the first two but with our third which is two now, he has a hard time getting him to listen to him.
1 person likes this
@gettinggreen (125)
• United States
18 Jan 08
That is true, I also behaved better for everyone else. My parents were super strict and it made me sneaky as a teen so I'm trying not to go overboard with it all, but I don't want to raise children that no one wants to be around either. I'll just continue standing my ground and like the other response said, stop giving too many chances. Good luck to you and thanks for your response. :)
@chooochy (356)
•
18 Jan 08
you are doing nothing wrong hun, most children are exactly the same, they are terrors for their parents or one parent in particuklar but are angels for other people, i think its because they know what they can and cant do to a certain extent with other people but parents they will try to see how much further they can push them on a daily basis! xx
@gettinggreen (125)
• United States
19 Jan 08
Thanks so much. Glad to hear it is all expected and normal.
@jillbeth (2705)
• United States
18 Jan 08
I have the benefit of raising four children and helping to raise grandchildren. Sounds like you need to set stricter limits. I believe that if a child is told to stop doing something and they don't, then it is up to the adult to make them stop! I would suggest that the first time she takes her trike into the road, you tell her that the next time she goes in the road, the ride is over, and then stick to your word. Always give them one chance to behave, and then let them see the results immediately when they don't. The second time she goes in the road, THAT is when you take her and the trike home. Don't give her the opportunity to keep repeating bad behavior. She will soom learn not to push you to the limit if she wants to continue riding. Use this same technique for other misbehaviors. Kids know how far they can push you, even at her age!
@gettinggreen (125)
• United States
18 Jan 08
You are probably right. I'm giving her too many chances. Thanks for your input.
@LauraElrod (418)
• United States
19 Jan 08
children often test one parent . it is all about what you let her get away with. if she does not ride her bike right tell her u will have to take it away for a bit and maybe she will follow the rules.
@doubleloveyou (2466)
• United States
19 Jan 08
lol. I laugh not out of disrespect. But out of experience. I have 4 kids. Ages 5 to 14. You have to understand that your child is not "Choosing" you to behave badly for. They are wanting to see where their limits and boundries are. It's how we all learn. Make sure that the child realizes that there are boundries. It is up to you to set those limits. The only reason they act up to you is because you are the one setting the limits. They have to see how far they can and cannot go. It brings them security. Parenting is a tough job, but done right it is so rewarding. The Bible says it this way. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
19 Jan 08
I think sometimes it just happens. I have noticed that my 2 year old son will listen to friends and his grandparents more than me. I dont know why it is they just think we are a push overs, lol. I think it is because i give in the most with the little things, and as for listening to his grandparents them just let him do whatever he wants and my mum just gives him chocolate and stuff when he cries then he is happy again. I think it is the newness of the other people saying "NO" that he listens to, like wo who is that telling me off.
