Which battle to pick in a marriage?

I think I can understand your disposition from the housekeeping perspective. However, as you are aware that incense sets does have certain significant purpose and gifts does have certain sentimental values - I hope that you could respect that and communicate your intentions. As a couple it will not be helpful to your relationship if you continue with your suspicions about the gift. I felt that since they (the sets) are both thrown away, just let it be a past and go forth as a new day. If it is eating your heart then let him know that you are hurt because that gift meant something to you as it came from your mum. If you can apologise for throwing his away. Remember the fastest way to end a war is to loose it. Just cool down for the time being and remember the long road ahead for the both of you.

Hello ayu_asks, I know some must think that it is just a small marital problem but I understand how you feel. Did I get it right? You threw away your husband incest set while spring cleaned the house? Did you ask him first before you threw it away? I think you should ask before you throw away his stuff. But, for your husband to do the same thing (throwing away yours given by your mother)is too much. Unless he has the right and reasonable reason for doing so, may be you are right. Those are given by a special friend. But please, don't judge him that easily. You should sit down and discuss with him (when both of you have cooled down) why he needs to make a fuss on a small matter like this? Maybe he has the right reason for getting angry at you. Take care!

My husband has a habit of throwing things out that belong to me. I think it's a matter of respect of one's personal belongings, no matter who the gift came from, or if it was a personal purchase. Or just something a person is saving like a newspaper article. I really don't think it's has anything to do with who it came from, it's all about respect. That is what bothers me about it anyway. He recently threw something away that didn't even belong to me, a book I was supposed to return, because he thought I was done with it. THAT I did get really upset about especially since it didn't belong to me. I told him he needs to ask me before just randomly throwing things in the trash.

It honestly sounds like it was given to him by someone more than a friend, why else would he get so mad at you for throwing it out. And for him to turn around and throw out something that your mom gave you that does not even compare, that's a high revenge price for you throwing out something from a co-worker.