long distance relationships, do they work?
By jerritts1mom
@jerritts1mom (816)
United States
January 21, 2008 12:41pm CST
I met my boyfriend in the 7th grade, well..he wasn't my boyfriend then.He was one of two identical twins and I had the biggest crush on him.Back then though he wasn't at all interested in girls, just his skateboard.Years past and I felt that he despised me, I attemped talking to him, and I would only get a hello.High school came and left and I never saw him again, but never forgot my childhood crush.Later on in life I had a child, and it didn't work with the father. I couldn't stand to be so close to him so I moved away.I now live in Tennessee.While browsing myspace.com I came across my old crushes profile, soon we were talking everyday.Come to find out, he had a crush on me as well...and felt just as rejected as I did back then.We are now a couple and have been for 4 1/2 months.I have made a trip down to FL to see him, but his job doesn't allow much time to make the trip here.We have been planning on one of us making the final move, but it doesn't seem that the money will ever be right. I will wait as long as it takes for this man, what's another year when I have waited for 18 ? I know he feels the same, but are we kidding ourselves ? Is it too soon to even be worried about the move? I would just like to hear some of your thoughts, especially if you have been where I am, and what you did to remedy your situation.Thank you sincerely.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
23 Jan 08
Well, that's quite a story!
I believe ANY relationship-- long distance, or otherwise-- has the capacity to work, IF both people are very clear and open about what they want, AND they ultimately are working together to reach the same final result. The "problems" arise when it turns out that expectations are actually very different... but that doesn't come across because of the distance. Perhaps one person is dreaming of "happily ever after" while the other sees the situation as "a bit of fun on the side."
That doesn't sound like the case, here.
What I can tell you (having been in long-distance relationships) is that there will never be a "perfect" time. There may be "better" or "worse" times, but you have to be willing to say "what the hay..." and go for it when the "90% perfect" time shows up... otherwise you'll be chasing a dream, forever.
4 1/2 months is not very long, in the greater scale of things, especially if you've been crushing on each other for 18 years. Plan a bit more; make things more solid-- like WHO is going to make the move? Figure out exactly WHAT it will take to make that move. Make time/money (if you can) to spend a little more time in meatspace... get to really KNOW the physical person, apart from the "idealized person" who lives in cyberspace.
All the best to you!
1 person likes this
@jerritts1mom (816)
• United States
23 Jan 08
Thank you, he has asked me to marry him since this discussion was posted, and I said yes.We are very eager to start our lives together.The 4-5 months that have gone by have been crammed packed with talks,visits...we just feel like we are eachother's soul mates.BTW He is making the move next month!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!! Thank you for your comment :) MEATSPACE ROCKS!!!!
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@clai101 (107)
• Philippines
11 Apr 16
@jerritts1mom wow good for you! I and my long distant bf have also been planning about that move since last year but things didnt really turn out well so until now that move is still a plan but he said he will be here mid this year and i hope that comes true coz I really can't live longer without him.
@danzer (2723)
• Philippines
21 Jan 08
Well, there are few instances where long distance love affair works. Most of the time, because of distance, the two parted ways with their own having other people in their lives.
When you are married and you part ways, it is difficult and many families were broken because of separation.
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