Argument with Spouse/Partner

I never never create a scene in front of the others.I just leave the place for a minute and carry it home.Well nowadays I even tend to forget it on the way back home.Age is catching up up with the knowledge that you can never see eye to eye with any one on any matter any longer.And you don't need to also.lol

well its kind of hard to argue when the other person wont argue back.. yep believe it or not my husband will never argue.. he stays silent, and then i yell and say terrible things (just for a minute), and then i end up apologizing for saying the mean things i just said.. stupid, he really makes me mad when he wont argue,, but i guess he is the one who knows what to do, because it works out that way everytime.

I usually what until we are some place private. I hate arguing in front of family and friends or anyone else for that matter. Well I hate fighting all together actually. Though he usually knows it when I'm mad and vise versa.

Normally, if this kind of occasions arises, I would not argue in public. I can supress my emotions at that time and same can be expressed privately later on. I do not believe in arguing when family members are around. If my partner is in bad mood,I prefer to keep quite, instead of creating a scene. It sometimes has happened that I could not control myself and started arguing, but later on I found that it made an adverse impact on kids. They take it very seriously and later on point it out to us that you fought in a manner unexpected of us. The main thing is while arguing how much you can control your voice and anger. If you can keep your tone down and express yourself politely but firmly...it really works. Good Post indeed! Have a great day!

When I was younger, I refused to have any disagreement in front of ANYONE. Over time, I realized that if our kids didn't see me and my partner working out differences in a healthy way, they wouldn't have any idea how to do that. So depending on the topic, I will work out a disagreement in front of the kids. If it's about our relationship, though, it's private. I think it's extremely rude and to argue in public, or at larger family functions. Other people don't want to be part of your business. I will NOT argue in the car. Everybody is trapped. Tension does not contribute to safe driving. It just isn't fair to anyone. My partner's ex-wife is a wacko who thought nothing of driving up to his apartment, standing outside, and screaming until he came out to placate her. She even tried to break down his door! After we got involved I stopped that crap by calling the police, which resulted in her going to the loony bin for an involuntary stay. They were married for ten years, and we've been together for nine now. He's still resetting his "normal meter" about some things. One caveat: If I were in a bad relationship, I would break up (quietly!) in a public place. That offers a certain amount of safety with someone you have reason to believe might get violent. I don't have to worry about that now, but I made some poor decisions earlier in my life, and I *wish* I had known this back then.

If it is something really bad and we make each other mad, we still don't argue in public. We tend to avoid one another instead. If we are extremely quiet and not cuddly like we normally are with one another, chances are we are mad at each other and are just waiting to be some place private to have it out. I don't like to yell at my husband in public, I like to keep our business private. His ex-wife used to start fights in public and it drove him crazy. That would be embarrassing I think.

Sviswan, I think, it's always wise to keep the rage and rant in hold while in public and pick up the same thread privately. My mom is excellent in dealing with things. She would keep mum and give a cold shoulder to my father even when things are apparently cooled down. She would not snap or shout or shout but she has to have her points right at the end of it all. My sister, however is diagonally opposite. The couple would argue like anything and the point is exaggerated to the extent that would digress from the original topic of contention. It would end up ludicrously and mu bro-in-law would say sorry invariably. I have found them always arguing, which replaces discussing in many cases. I think, it's very important how it all ends. It should always end in a sweet note. Me personally, tend to forget the thread of argument and it takes only a day or two to smile over it.

It all depends on the topic. if it was a minor disagreement,I would wait until we got home. But if he said something that was a complete lie and it was a major topic. I would either walk away or better still leave him there and find my own way home, or I would let him have it right then and there."Lies don't become us." I have no tolerance for liars and it would hurt to see that my boyfriend was a liar.

SViswan, nice discussion, Now what should I tell you, my husband's normal voice itself is like he is fighting, sometimes I have to put cotton in my ears........lol. I know it is a very bad manners to scream or argue with spouse in public...I understand this and try to wait tell we are alone or if necessary I speak softly, but he...does not care.....like when we go for shopping and have almost done, and suddenly I say, oh I forgot salt wait I will get it, immediately he will scream....kya abhi taak kya kar rhai thi, kuch yaad kyu nahi rehta...etc etc....I try to control myself, but you know SV, I am very hot tempered, once I loose my temper I shout back and that is what do, I tell him koi asaman nahi gir pada hai, itna chilow maat, and then he becomes normal and says, APUN TOH ASSIYCH BOLTA HAI... and I start smiling thinking of Munna bhai........he does not care if 10 people are looking at us.some men never change, ulta they change you.......lol

I'm not really big on arguements to begin with so I try to limit them no matter where I am. If something should happen and we get into a disagreement in public sometimes we'll argue in sign language, I know that may seem weird but it takes a public issue and makes it semi private. Until we can get home and get things worked out properly.

Hi Sviswan well i believe that these things must be settled privately so far no such occasion arises and hope nor will arise in future and when ever we have some conflict or differnce of opinion, we solve it with in room, as we live in joint family so i never did it in tv lounge or some other part i believe that ur spouse and partner is ur responsibilty and u r not two, so treat them with respect even u r angry as its respect of ur family, if u shout in crowd, in presence of family member even in presence of ur kids, does not leave good impression , infect reduce ur respect as family so why give chance to others to talk about us its my opinion take care

I prefer arguing without anyone around. I keep quiet on public places. Most of the time are arguments are confine inside the car. I walk away from my husband if he starts saying something I dont like in public places or just keep quiet.

I have never understood why poeple have to let the whole world know what is going on. Sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut until you have a place to discuss it. I was with a mna that would degrade any chance he had and he didn't care where we were or who heard. It is very embarrasing and it makes you feel like you are worthless. Like the other person that responded i have npw moved on to a healthier relatioship. We talk about things before they get out of hand and we don't do it in public. This is the way it should be in a good relationship.

i like this question! in my past marriage my ex wife used to start arguments about the silliest little things and would care where she did it, and quite honestly didnt care who heard it! she would not call me names or anything like that but she would embarrass me in public or even in front of members of my family so she could make her point, but everyone had to listen, it was like she wanted some random stranger to come up to us and help gang up on me. she would shout across the store or car park, i just hid inside myself and pulled that face that said, "will you shut up". but whilst thinking that i should also say it, i thought that someone would come over and .......sort e out. i am now in a loving relationship with my now wife, who is very understanding and we dont even argue, we have discussion but we dont argue. if we think of anything that we dont agree on we whisper it or wait till we get home and discuss it, there has never been a raised voice from either of us.

My parents trained me well not to laudry my dirt in public.And this saying is an excellent application of your querry. My hubby and I wouldn't argue in front of people especially when relatives are around too.I wouldn't want people overhearing our discussion or heated arguments with angry or swearing words that would make us look like we're bad people.You see, when one is upset or at the peak of anger, one could never be so careful with words they utter or say.Behaviour too and attitude changes.Arguments done privately is a good way too to prevent relatives involved with your problems and not be nosey of it.Embarassment is also prevented this way.But foremost, privacy to resolve the issue with your partner is better, this way you get to know more each other's side and not not be bias when friends or other relatives are involved. For the benefit of partners, it is better to argue in private.It works for me and my hubby very well!!!

No. This is something my husband absolutely hates. Arguing in public. As much as possible, I try to control my emotions until we have the privacy that we need to sort out our problem. And we do try to control our anger especially when we're infront of our son. He doesn't need to see his parents arguing. But the truth is, it was my husband who taught me how to control my emotions. Before we were married, as all couples experience, we had our share of arguments. And there were times that those arguments appear when we're in a public place. I never made a humiliating scene like shout at him or worse, but people do notice that I'm terribly upset. So when this thing happens, he asks me to wait for the right time and the right place to sort out the argument. And that people doesn't need to know that we're arguing.

Oh I definitley wait till we get home. I will not argue in front of anyone else. I think this is so rude. People don't want to hear it. I know I certainly don't want to hear other people arguing. I have heard things when my firends have argued and it's usually something I don't want to know about. So I wouldn't put my friends or family members in a situation like that. They will tend to take my side and I don't want them to have any hard feelings about my husband. Or vica versa, they take his side and think bad thoughts about me. So no, I don't think it is too smart to argue in front of others. Take it home.

hello, and well me and my spouse argue. i want to wait but he feels that he can argue anywhere. I don't think that is right to put your business out there in front of everyone and then act like there is nothing wrong. He is the type who like to make you look like it is your fault no matter what. I drives me crazy. I told him if you won't wait until we are alone then I won't talk to him and walk away.

I prefer to wait and i prefer others to wait rather than try to kill each other at my house but i understand anger is an emotion you cant always hold in untill you get home, depending on the circumstances.

I would try not to argue in public as I would not want to create a scene. However, depending on the topic of the argument, sometimes it is hard to control your emotions. If someone has hurt you really bad despite of what place you are at. You may not be able to hold those emotions back.