What does having a girlfriend/boyfriend mean to you when you're still in school?
By javin129
@javin129 (27)
Philippines
January 23, 2008 4:15am CST
For my part, i'm still a college student and my perspective regarding this kind of relationship is that the only way i will have a girlfriend is when i am able to earn on my own already. Also, i want my first girlfriend to be my wife in the end but i don't see this in our society right now. I know a couple of people that had 5 or more ex's and i know some kids that have a relationship even if they're still in grade school or high school. What's your thought on this?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Buchi_bulla (8298)
• India
23 Jan 08
Having a Girl/Boy Friend is good for development of healthy relationship. But it should be given seriousness of thought and not just for the heck of it. However, sometimes if you come to know certain negative points later, then what is the use of going ahead when you are sure that relationship is not going to be healthy? All the faces of a person will not be known in a day or two friendship is it not?
1 person likes this
@dravenwriter (232)
•
24 Jan 08
The expectation that your first girlfriend will be your wife is unrealistic. It reminds me of the fairy tales where the price saves the princess and they fall in love immediately, and everything is perfect.
Life isn't like that. Relationships take effort, and it takes awhile before you find someone who you can truly cultivate a loving marriage with. There's nothing wrong with dating, just don't go getting anyone pregnant or anything.
Blind faith doesn't work, that's not what love is. The fairy tale mentality about love could be a major reason for the divorce rate in the U.S. Don't fall for it.
@dravenwriter (232)
•
26 Jan 08
I think your view of America is a little too influenced by movies or something. Physical intimacy on the first date(s) really has nothing to do with it. I can't really comment on the cultural issues since I've only lived here in the U.S.
As for pressure to date someone of the same race, we have that too sometimes, and sometimes not. I think we've made a lot of progress there. In America, most of us(I hope) realize that racial discrimination has no leg to stand on.
On the divorce rate, I'd say it's high because people have the fairy tale mentality, but then the social pressure to work it out and stay married is pretty low. I would really like people to go through some pre-marital counseling before they decide to get married, because so many people jump into marriage before they are ready or even know the other person well.
@javin129 (27)
• Philippines
24 Jan 08
Oh man... I'm speechless. hehe anyway, yeah it seems unrealistic but i still have many years ahead of me so i'll just see in the future. In the US, it's easy to get a girl on a date since you guys are adventurous. Some first dates can lead to kissing and god knows what but here, it's totally different. It's rare for us guys to be able to kiss a girl on the first date. There are also some pressure by our parents for us to have a relationship with the same race. This means like for example, i live in the philippines and im fil-chi so it's like we're better off dating a fil-chi girl instead of pure filipina so that there will be no problems when it comes to culture (no offense on the race thing). Also, US divorce rate is high right? As for us, it's a bit low because when we get married, we'll do everything we can to save our marriage even if problems arises like adultery, quarelling, etc...
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Well I think that having a girlfriend or boyfriend in high school is a waste. Why because that's when kids flourish and for some kids they want to try to get a lot girls in bed. So their is a pretty good chance that having a girl or boyfriend in high school is a waste because relationships in high school don't usually last but that doesn't mean that they don't or will. Some do but it's not that often. And the ones that usually last is because they both understand about passing classes and trying to stay with each other. But I'm in high school and waiting to graduate to get one because I will be more focused on her and give her my undivided attention instead of trying to choose between her and studying for test.
@dta_kitty (191)
• India
23 Jan 08
I think there is no need for a relationship early in life.Its better to start looking for a partner after you get a job.I also believe in love someone and marry that person.Nothing more than that.Early relationships I believe is one of the reasons for break-ups due to lesser maturity and understanding.Its better to put it off till we're actually ready for it instead of doing it because everybody has a girl/boy friend.Its also better to save your emotions from getting hurt over and over again with a change of relationships.Every relationship comes with certain commitments, so its best to step into it when you know its responsibilities, constraints etc
@javin129 (27)
• Philippines
23 Jan 08
I agree with you. Based on my observations with my classmates and friends inside the school, most relationships last more or less 6 months only. We, students, are still not that mature when it comes to relationships so i guess it's better off not having one until after graduation. Relationships and studies, in my opinion, clash one another because of the time allotment i guess. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
23 Jan 08
Before, I find it very nice since it was the reason why I like to attend to my classes daily. She has become my inspiration and motivation arm. She has been there to talk to me when I am alone.
@coreytim (46)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Well if you can find the right girl then it is definetly worth it. A relationship can be a whole lot of fun in a variety of different ways. Plus having a girlfriend really doesot have to be that expensive, especially in college, hell you can go on a date with your gf to the dining hall for free haha. I guess just give it a try, you may find you like it.
@prabodh1987 (297)
• India
23 Jan 08
having a girlfriend is godd, because u have someone with whom u can share ur Joys n sorrows...
but having a girlfriend just for lust is bad,
try to be in a healthy relationship, not lust
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
24 Jan 08
I have an idealism like you before. I want to have a relationship when I have finished my course but some temptations came and I did not resist it. But I still remain my beliefs that the boyfriend I will have will be my future husband. And it did happen because my first bf in college or shall we say for my lifetime became my husband now.
But to those who are still in their schoolings I hope they will not engage in such thigs so early because there are many complications in having a relationship, sometimes you become happy and have misunderstandings. You need to have time with your partner. So in a way you are being disturbed with this relationship and your education will be affected.
@jayman32 (267)
• Australia
24 Jan 08
beside's the study, uni(or College to you guy's) meant s e x, s e x & more s e x. it is a time for people to get out from under the parents & experiment with it. find out what you do & dont like about s e x. just remember to protect yourself if its not on than its not on...........
