How woould you feel if your husband or boyfriend treated you like a child?

First, I want to say that I totally agree with Wolfies response. Second, once you married this man he no longer owns anything independent of you. What he owns, you own and vice-versa. I don't care who bought it or when it was purchased, the two of you share equal ownership.

Do you love him? If you do then you might want to open up with him and tell him your side. He may not be aware of what he is doing thinking that you're only 19 years old. Also don't give him a chance to see you acting up like a kid. Maybe he's just reacting to your behavior. If you don't love Him, then I don't see any reason why you should stay married.

Some partners treat their other halfs like children because it makes them feel in control, it makes them look big and they start to eat away at their partner's confidence and self-esteem so their partner become heavily reliant on them and can't face life without them, it's like they control and manipulate their partner, my ex used to do this all the time, treat me like a child and would speak to me as a child too, until I cut the strings and got away, it is very demeaning, and it also classed as abused, no adult should be treated like this by their partner. It is undignified too and very soul destroying.

Well, I'm in the present situation you're talking about but in a somewhat different way. I guess you could say that I'm your counterpart. I buy everything because I'm the one with a more stable job. My husband even takes money from me for miscellaneous items which we tend to argue about. He nearly doesn't give me or buy me and our daughter anything without asking for money from me. I find it real hard to save some for our child's future. On the other hand, I'm not like your partner who takes away what he has "given". For instance, we bought a Nokia mobile phone a couple of years ago using my take home pay. I haven't used it for more than five times since it was bought. And then last year, he pawned it in a local pawnshop without even informing me. As expected, we never had enough funds to redeem it during the specified period. It's really so frustrating. Going back to your situation, I guess you better talk with him about this. If I'm not mistaken, he could be feeling some resentment, too. Or maybe, he has felt some trauma from previous relationships. If you're not married to him yet, you'd better examine your true feelings toward him. Ask yourself if you really love him to the extent of sharing everything with him. And by everything, I mean the precious forward years both of you will share; happiness, tears, quarrels, hardships, success, and much much more. And are you emotionally mature enough to go through this life with him? You didn't mention if you two have children already; but I presume you don't have yet. Admit it or not, having children at this stage makes your relationship more complicated. Whatever decision you'll have, I hope you'll be strong enough to face the consequences of your decisions. Take care and God bless.

Well, frankly, I think your husband acts like a child. I don't know why he wants to control many things. It's wrong that he took away so many things from you. You need to talk to him in pease.

I would not accept that. It is a way of trying to control you. You are not a child and do not need to be treated like one. I sometimes treat my hubby like one but not by taking things away from him. He says that I talk to him like one and such. Either way its not acceptable. Have you told him how you feel about him doing those things? What do your parents think of him? Believe it or not mom and dad do know best most times. I know its hard to admit I was 19 not that long ago though it does seem like forever.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Your HUSBAND does this to you?? and you havent put him in his place?! Oh HELL NO!!! If ANYONE talked to me like that they'd get a warning then a fistfull..and if my husband EVER tried to pull that sort of thing on me he'd get a fistful and be divorced REAL QUICK! Why are you with this man?? I mean seriously..thats NOT love...and thats NOT respect...Thats CONTROL and ABUSE...why are you still there?!?!

well really he is treating you one...maybe he thinks your still acting like one lol! nope its a joke ! try talking to him seriously about all this and your side or your opinion on his actions towards you..i understand that if two people are married all the things are on conjugal ownership except on the properties that are own by him before marriage(correct me if im wrong not sure actually)

Umm the way I see it is what's his is mine and what's mine is his so him taking things away from you is silly and most definitely treating you like a child. Why don't you sit down with him and talk about it and tell him how you feel? Once you're married it should be considered both yours regardless of who bought what, i would think!

You should be respectful? I don't think this man knows what respect means! The age difference is absolutely NO excuse. He married you - he didn't take you to raise. You've got one father and you don't need another. This is a textbook example of abusive behavior. I've been there, honey, and I have to tell you that it only gets worse, never better. I strongly encourage you to read this article: http://eft.fabglitter.org/blog/?p=12 I think you'll see yourself in it. He has no right to treat you that way, but it's highly unlikely that anyone is going to stand up for you. You need to find a safe place to go to, take certain things with you, and file for divorce and a restraining order. If you're absolutely certain that your parents would be supportive and NOT warn him in any way, ask them for help - but I have to wonder how good your relationship with them is? Did things like this every happen in their home? Is one parent absolutely in charge of the family and household, or are they partners? If not your parents, find a close, trustworthy friend or other relative to go to. If you're involved in a church, your pastor or rabbi might help (of course, in some churches there's a culture of abuse, and I'm hoping you're not in one - if you're a Jehovah's Witness, don't even THINK about going to the elders). If nothing else, find your nearest battered women's shelter. You ARE an abuse victim. If they don't have a place for you, they'll help you find one. If nothing else, call 1-800-799-SAFE. That way, you won't have any information about abuse on your computer. If you do, he can easily find it, and I guarantee that he'll go off the deep end if he does. Go to a library and use the computers there to do research if you like, but don't do it at home. The following is from http://www.ndvh.org/help/planning.html . The system won't let me paste it in, so I'll try to summarize. You have a right to a police escort when you leave. Make a plan for how you'll escape, and be prepared to sneak away whenever you can. Put aside emergency money as you're able to, somewhere that he can't get to it (a separate bank account?). Hide an extra set of keys in case he takes yours away form you (obviously, you want to get an extra set or two made - I'd give one set to someone I trust). Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and leave them with a trusted friend or neighbor - NOT immediate family or next-door neighbors, as he'll probably check those places first. You'll want to have all important numbers and other contact information with you. I'd also store that information and other stuff in an online account somewhere that he doesn't know about and can't access. Take any medication you take regularly with you, as well as your driver's license, credit cards, insurance information, and checkbook. Make sure you have a list of ALL credit cards, bank accounts, and assets, whether they're in both names or just his or yours. Take his payroll check stubs and yours - I'd make a copy of his so he doesn't notice them gone right away. Make sure you have your passport, birth certificate, and any other important papers. If you can, take any deeds or other property documents (titles to vehicles, boats, etc.), medical, legal, tax, and educational records, ALL insurance policies (or at least info about them), your marriage license and/or certificate, any wills, verification of your and his Social Security numbers (use SS cards or earnings reports or the like), and any welfare-issued identification or documentation. If there are any pictures, jewelry, or other items that you care about, take them with you (my ex held the quilts my grandmother made hostage). If you have children, there's even more to consider. I really hope that's not the case! If you have pets you care about, take them and their vet records/proof of immunizations, carriers, etc. Abusers often hurt pets to punish "wayward" spouses when they try to leave. You're probably thinking, "But I love him!" Honestly, that doesn't matter. Love doesn't act this way. He does not love you in his actions. He doesn't respect you. He doesn't treat you as you deserve. You deserve REAL love, not empty promises. It's out there, if you're brave enough to dump this jerk and go on with your life. I'll be praying for you.

This is a touchy area. I know you sound very ill used and you would must be very depressed with not rights of your own. This is why everyone who enters marriage must realize that this is a life changing even. What you describe is not the way a true marriage should be like. This is not a marriage of love but a marriage of conveience. What little you are getting out of this arrangement is not worth living like a slave. Some men in this world believe there are Daddy's and there are slaves. You are not a slave so why put up with this treatment? Even if you grew up in this type of environment you should seek the advice of people you respect who will help you change your situation for the better. Good Luck..I hope you can find the means to find some happiness in your life as the object of matrimony is not to be somebody's slave.

My ex-husband used to treat me like a child too. He is a little over 3 years older than me. We were together for 9 years. We started dating when I was 16 years old, got married after I graduated high school at the age of 18. He was military so I had to move 4 hours away from my friends and family after we were married. I have a driving phobia and he would refuse to drive me to college if he got mad at me. That was the main thing he would hold over me. He would refuse to take me somewhere. He was bossy and tried to act as my father as well. We were married so nothing was just HIS, everything was OURS. After 7 years of marriage to him and his controlling ways I left him. We are now divorced and get a long a lot better.

I think he do not respect your from heart. To change the situation, I think you should fight a suitable way to fight back, so that you can have a better life than now. And as you have a great age difference, it is really hard for you to make you be understand well by him. But at least you have to try to show your uncomfortable about his behavoir. I think the best way for you to go out of the situation is try to find a effective way to support yourself, so that he can take nothing away from you.

I would soon straighten him out and would have a long heart to heart talk with this man.Heis not your father so tell him that.either he starts treating you like an adult or you are going to hit the road and find a new love. I would hate this with a purple passion.nineteen and thirty three is a combo meant for explosion or divorce. thats just to big an age gap. he thinks of you as a kid ant thats just bad. I think you need marriagecounseling or perhaps in the end a divorce.you are young yet and still have 'a chance at happiness with someone your own age.

I say you need to kick his butt to the door and tell him, until he can treat you better and like an adult, then don't come back. You can do better with someone else and even better by yourself. My husband sometimes does treat me like a child. We are however 10 yrs apart, so I am a little bit immature than he is. You don't need that man.

That isnt any way to treat a person! What an a%% he is! I wounldn't put up with that at all!!

You are 19??!! But your profile says you are 32, F, from Bankura India. Whatever, I believe some of your posts say you have children too. So if you are 19, you married pretty early, before the legal age in India but at the same time, you have aspirations to be independent. Girls who are married off so early in India, seldom have their own life. I don’t think there is any hope for you, since at 19, you are not even a graduate. So no hope for a job which will allow you to have your own cellphone and computer. So depending on your husband is your only option, no matter how badly he treats you. And what our western friends are saying in previous responses, don’t apply to us Indians and the faster you understand that its better for you. (or do you already know that at 32 or 19?)

For me, I will talk to my husband to stop treating me that way! I have feelings and I'll get hurt!Since we are married, its no longer I own this or you own that..Its always"we". I hope things will work best for you, you are still young and pretty...you deserve to be happy!

I was wondering why he treats you the way he does, but when you said that you are 19 years old and he is 33 years, 6 years younger that your father, that tells me he was looking someone to be his child and he found that in you, because, you are willing to put up with whatever he is doing to you. Why do you put up with it? Seriously! I think you should leave him, if you don't have the resourses to go on your own then maybe you should consider thinking about moving back in with your father until your are ready to be on your own. Let your dad treats you like a child. but whatever you do don't stay in that marriage. STAND TALL!!!!!

I'm going to answer this before I read anyone else's responses. Why do you have so little respect for yourself to stay in a relationship with someone that abuseive? It IS abusive. It's mental abuse. The fact that you even think he's like a father to you should clue you in to the fact that this is NOT a healthy relationship. HE'S being disrespectful to you by not treating you, HIS WIFE, like his partner. Instead, he's treating you like a child. It's only a matter of time before the fists start swinging instead of the childish grounding and taking away privelages. I don't know WHY you married him, maybe to get out of your house and away from your own parents? If that's the case, you didn't get very far, instead you found as close to what you may have already had as you could get. Maybe you married him because you were lacking a father figure, or were trying to replace your own father for some reason? Whatever your reasons were, I don't believe it was for love really, even though you may think so. I think you need to rethink this whole situation. It won't get better. It never does.