Problems
By Raissa1967
@Raissa1967 (801)
Netherlands
January 23, 2008 1:03pm CST
My 13 year old son had a fight near school yesterday. The other boy started the fight but my son hit harder and faster. To his parents and school he told a other story and now the school and the parents what to take steps against my son. The parents want to go to the police and what the school wants to do we don't know jet. There were boys present and they also told that the other boy started. We are worried now that the police will come to our house and that he will be taken with them. What should we do. I'm worried sick.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Jan 08
Unfortunately, your son didn't do what the kids are told to do - you don't fight back. He is probably going to get suspended from school (or whatever their policy is). I wouldn't worry about your son being hauled off by the police. I would worry about any civil suit that may come up.
1 person likes this
@Raissa1967 (801)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 08
I don't hope it will come to that. My husband already called the police to explane the situation and we have a appointment next friday. There were a few boys present at the fight and they saw the other boy starting the fight. Also in words like come on hit me. I hope they can help out.
1 person likes this
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
23 Jan 08
I hope that it does not come to that. Not sure what your laws are there, but even if your son is not charged with anything legally, I believe the parents can still sue for any medical (not saying they will win of course).
@charmed44903 (109)
• United States
23 Jan 08
I had this happen a lot lol . They will tell you to come to the police station and they need to talk with you. It is not all that bad. If he ahs people willing to back him up then he should be fine if not then he will get what they give to him.
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@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
23 Jan 08
Well, it is so hard to advise you. I don't know what the laws are in the Netherlands. Since your son is a juvenile there may be special laws for juveniles. Here in Canada the schools are really clamping down on fighting and bullying. They even have peer sessions to teach the kids how to walk away from confrontations. It is most likely that here the two boys would be suspended from school for a time. The parents of the other boy if he was injured could ask the police to lay criminal charges. I sure hope they don't if their son was not injured and this turns out ok. for you and your son. Somehow there is a lesson to be learned from this.
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@Raissa1967 (801)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 08
I surrely hope that he learned something from this. I think he did already. The fight by the way was outside the school. But becaurse the parents of the other boy complained at the school the school want's to have a word in this. I understand that becaurse they are there every day. What the law is here in Holland I dodn't know becaurse this is the first time this happend to our son.
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@Vucjak (242)
• Macedonia
23 Jan 08
It's so unfair. If he didn't fight, he would have been beaten, and cause he fought, he would be punished. Are you completely sure it wasn't his fault? You might wanna talk to that other boy parents, and try to settle the things. Or, you could go to police and accuse that the boy attacked your son.
1 person likes this
@Raissa1967 (801)
• Netherlands
23 Jan 08
He did fight but that was his reaction at this boy. The boy started the fight that is what my son and a vieuw of the boys from his class told us. They were present at the fight. We phoned the boys parents but they believe there son. The boy also admitted to a teacher that he started aswell but still they caled me to tell that they will take steps against my son. This was the same theacher to which the other boy told that he was the first one to hit.
1 person likes this
@hsandy2k4 (2)
•
24 Jan 08
Dear Raissa...
its a thing that happens in school life of everyone..
The best solution i can suggest u is that,
You can call the parents of the other boy and talk to them.
Apologise for what your son has done, even if there is nothing
wrong with your son... Staying calm and bending yourself down at such situations make things turn in favour of you...
All the best...
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
24 Jan 08
If the fight did not happen on school property their is nothing the school can do. If the school tries to suspened your son from school you need to go strait to the school board and ask them why the school is envolved in matters that did not happen at school or on their property. This is a clear case of assault tored your son and you should file charge again the boy that started the fight. It is a case of self-defence. You need to get the other boys that seen the fight write down what they seen and sign and date it with their parents there. You need to write down everthing that is said to by who, when, and what time. Plus, if this goes any further you will have all your facts down.
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
23 Jan 08
Well, I know this sucks but it sounds like you are going to have to hire an attorney or go straight to the school board with written affidafits from the witnesses in your favor.
It sucks cause if your son wouldn't of stood up for himself, he would of probably been the center of torment the rest of the school year. But, he defends himself and he gets in trouble.
If your son has ANY marks, even scratches, get pics NOW! Keep a journal of who you've talked to, their position, date and time and a phone number. Hopefully it won't come to anything, but just to be on the safe side, watch your p's and q's!
I hope everything works out for you, keep us posted!
~Stephanie
@AngelNicki (412)
• United States
24 Jan 08
A lot of times when they arrest kids, they just let the parents bring the kid to the police station and then take him home. I doubt they would actually remove your son from your house!
Have you tried calling the parents and calmly discussing it? They might get defensive or yell, in which case maybe you could find a mediator through the school or the local youth services department.
Good luck! What a world we're in, huh, when a middle-school kid who gets into a fight can end up with a police record?