A lesson for all of us.

Hi Pose123! Oh i do agree with you completely. I used to feel so frustrated when things keep on happening again and again. Then instead of looking outside and looking for blame, I turned inwards. I have to have a different perspective in life, on how i see things and how I deal with them. I don't expect too much from others anymore and instead I dwell on what and how I can better myself and live happily without depending on others to make me happy. I need to change within. I learned to be happy inside and in the process found myself again which I have lost somehow before. Oh, there are still bumps here and there but I don't go on pitying myself anymore and instead I try to learn the lessons in life each day without berating myself and blaming others. I still have much to learn in life however, I now always look forward with a smile in my heart. Just my thoughts. Take care and have a nice day! :)

Reminds me of a line from Thunderdome which I use. " Remember, No matter where you go...There you are!"

I think you are very correct. The day I understood this myself, I stopped taking myself and my surroundings too seriously. My main problem was that being a virgo, I was the ever perfectionist to the point of being irritating to others (no doubt). I would always find fault with people’s efforts, I would always think they are not giving their 100%, that they should follow my standards and that I know the best of all. Things were developing in such a way that I would even take other people’s work from them and try to improve upon it. No doubt all these added unnecessary stress to my life and I was becoming suspicious, grouchy, irritated and overworked. It seems as if I could never keep with my schedule. However, I realized my mistake and now I take life very easy. It has definitely improved the quality of my living and has taught me to look at people with a new respect and appreciate them for what they are.

Amen, brother! LOL, I've actually heard those same words spoken in sermons before. It's the absolute truth. No one has many different jobs with the same problems, and not have a part in the making of the misery.

I am so glad that God blessed me with the courage to be honest about my faults. Sometimes I may not know that I am wrong, but once someone let's me know, I am able to accept it and go to work on changing it.

ABSOLUTELY!! I have always told my brother about his relationships that seem to fail after just a few months that he should see the pattern,and stop picking up women from bars,lol...but same goes here.Usually if we are having the same complaints about getting the same results, maybe we should think about changing our actions.

I go by the lack of self-confidence in the person. It is not that she has done things wrong, it is just that her brain waves give out the message and maybe she has stopped trying. I would say it is not that she makes a conscious desire to fail, if that were so, I would have changed years ago. It is deep in her unconscious, something happened, she believed something and if you are told often and often again " you have not got the brains of a flee" it sinks deep in and you eventually will believe that you cannot accomplish anything. The best way is to get her to accomplish small things, like for instance, maybe as little as cleaning a portion of her desk, and as she does that, maybe encourage her to do something better. She needs little successes and maybe get her to go to a psychiatrist or someone to talk to. Mind you someone could have put a curse on her. We do know the devil gives power to his own and if she has nothing to stand against that person--

I think that if we sat up and owned up to mistakes that we would realize in a fair number of these it was something we did that caused the mistake. If we are willing to own up to it we can fix what ever went wrong. To often people do try to blame someone else or something else caused a problem. It is easy to blame someone or something for the strive in our life. It is harder to look in the mirror and say it was me. I agree with your very thought provoking post.

I agree that if you don't even recognize that there is a problem in you, then you have no chance of being able to fix that. It will never end.

I absolutely agree with you. How interesting that you made the comment...that every where we go...we take ourselves with us my mother always used that expression too! In our work as life coaches and group leaders David and I work with a system we developed for resolving challenges...'from the inside out.' People who believe that they, "always have the same problem" will invariably go and prove they are "right." Within our metaphysical viewpoint it has people move towards what they picture in their mind and whatever they assume to be true...usually becomes real for them. We suggest that to change your life one needs to change their beliefs...and if they don't their lives may remain in the same groove forever...is that good news? Good topic... Raia

So true... we have a friend like that, and he doesn't realize that he brings out negative attitudes in normally calm and decent people! He has a dismissive manner that really turns paople off. He has no luck with getting dates, so has decided that women are just no good... I told him to come back when he changed that attitude!LOL!!

it's said that things go contrary to one's wishes for nine in ten. So first we should have the preparative of the possible situation,including all sorts of failure.failure is the mother of success ,which is known to all of us.Keep trying and go ahead,no matter how pain it is then we have opportunity to win.that's my humble word.

A lot of us do carry around a lot of baggage. I also do find that some people keep on criticising and harping on things which I hardly notice. I am sure I do that too, to some extent. But some do it excessively. They can only see things from their own point of view, and everything that's different from the way they do things is wrong.

Yes, you are absolutley correct. If one is facing the same results from his/her actions in life, then that person surely has to take notice and assess himself/herself rather than just playing the blame game.

People usually don't plan ahead of time or are terrible problem solvers and this is usually why things don't go well in their lives.

I think, in fact I know, that you're exactly right. I know so many people who are negative in general. Many times they're just no fun to be around because they simply complain about everything that happens and how it affected them. They claim themselves as being "victims of circumstances." I don't believe that for a minute! Yes, a common thread in all the negativity is oneself. I think a person who finds himself or herself in this situation should do an honest self-analysis before things get any worse! I responded to a discussion yesterday about blame. We're constantly shifting blame on others because we don't want to admit that we're wrong. That's how society is in general nowadays. The same reason is also the solution to the issue you've addressed in this discussion. We're too scared to admit we were wrong or that it's our fault. I think that's the problem. Another awesome discussion, Pose!

True statement. People have made it so easy to blame things on others! I mean if you really think about it, it stems all the way back to preschool. If someone said something or did something wrong... you'd always do what you could to throw the blame on someone else! So I guess it's only natural character of habit, to continue to believe it's other peoples problems and not your own!