Ever wonder if you've made the right choice to stay at home with your children?

I started to work when my children are already in grade school since i choose not to be away from them when theyre still young enough to be left at home..i want to see them grow everyday and enjoy them while theyre still young ..i want them to be their first teacher ...and it was very rewarding choice i made in my life..at present i am working freelance.. which means i can always attend to their needs since my time is very flexible..

When I had my son 6 years ago we (my husband and I) never even thought to discuss whether it was best for me to stay home or keep on working. We lived in Samoa and were staying with family at the time, so I have help as soon as I got home from having him in New Zealand. I was able to take him to work with me right up until he was 5-6 months and then had home help with family. It never entered my mind whether I should of stayed home or not, probably because I had help from his family. As soon as we moved to Washington DC, it was just the three of us and no family around, so we decided it was best I stayed home to take care of him as he was only four and the daycare centers around here were expensive. It was the best thing I could of done for my son as we had grown closer each day. I wished I had stayed home with him all along as I did miss special moments like the first time he walked or said his first word and such. Now I regretted that I never even thought to stay home, even though we would of been ok financially too. I suppose it worked out for us in the end. My son is loving Kindergarten and can't wait to get to 1st grade this year :)

One of the most thought-provoking posts I have come across. Now for me, the grass is always greener on the other side. I have chosen to work and given a choice, maybe it would not have been an automatic one. You see, we married very young, just after 2/3 years out of college and into our first job. In India, most sons stay on with their parents after marriage and we were no exception. Only exception was that my hubby being the eldest son, had to shoulder all the financial responsibilities of the not-very-affluent family. So before marriage itself, we had decided that we both had to work to make ourselves financially secure. Two years into marriage, our first and only child came…a bundle of joy. We had no money to spare for me to quit job. I had to keep my baby with my mom-in-law and go to work. While I am eternally grateful to my in-laws for taking care of my baby for me, the situation was not rosy all the time either. Each woman has her own way of taking care of a baby and my mom-in-law and me never agreed on anything about the child. To her, it was her grandson and to me it was my son! Nevertheless, we carried on this way just because we had no other option. His schooling started and the expenses mounted further. In-the-meantime, my brother-in-law got a job and started contribution to the family finances so in a way I could give up the job and stay at home. But by them, my baby, my toddler was a kid of 5years. He was already going to school and was used to seeing mom only in the early mornings and evenings. He was more used to his grandparents! So there was no point really in my giving up the job and putting my hubby into unnecessary pressure. Very recently, we have shifted house and for the first time, I am having my ‘own family’. While I can never make up for lost years, I am utilizing my freedom to make anything and everything I ever wanted to do with my son. We rustle up all kinds of strange dishes, we play around the house, we have our own small garden on the balcony and so on. So in a way I have never experienced the pleasure of seeing my child take his first step, of hearing his first words. I know I have missed something invaluable but I don’t exactly know by how much. Maybe I would have stayed at home for those initial years and then started working once his school started. But now its too late. He is 8 now and we have kind of got used to this pattern of life. But I really appreciate your tenacity of clawing back. Being a woman, I understand how difficult it must be to be out of the loop for so long and then to reclaim your position.

I am not a stay at home mom. I work because my husband's income is not enough for our family and besides the two of us are still supporting my sister and him his brother in their college education. I wanted to personally be there for my child and care for him but I have no choice. Now my child sometimes is not cared well because of the nanny. The nanny is okay but there is really a big difference if a mother will personally care the child.

I am really sorry to read about your divorce, you seem like a very stong lady. I myself have two sons and I have made the decision to stay at home with them, yes its hard living on 1 income but we make do and live within our means. I do also make crochet items and sell them online to earn a little extra income on the side. I hope everything gose well for you :)

I guess in one way, it was easy for me to give up working and stay home with my little ones, because it wasn't like I had this big career or anything. I was a manager of a snack bar at Walmart when I got pregnant. My husband and I decided that I should stay home til my little one started school, that was 3 years ago. We now have a 3 month old baby girl so that got pushed back a couple more years. I think we definately made the right decision. Don't get me wrong, its rough sometimes. My husband has a decent job but with house payment, bills, formula, diapers, clothing for the kids, we have really learned how to squeeze a penny til it squeaks and crys for mercy. Living on one paycheck, requires major sacrafices, we aren't the Trumps. But in the end I believe my kids are getting the kind of care that only I can give them. There are tons of great baby sitter or day cares available, but to me only I can give them the little extras they need to grow up to be well rounded ppl. That's probably not true and a little arrogant of me, but it's how I feel. And yes I understand what you mean about missing the social aspect. Most days for 12 hours I speak to no one but a 3 year old, a 3 month old and a dog, so there are times when I crave a little adult conversation, or I think it would be nice to get dressed up and do my hair in make up, and go somewhere instead of throwing on a pair of sweats, pulling my hair up into a pony tail and mopping the floor, but like I said..it's about sacrafice and I hope when my kids get older they will always remember that I was always there for them, how we watched cartoons or played race cars or colored in a coloring book together and I hope it will mean as much to them as it does to me.