Is Agoraphobia the biggest killer of friendship?

I absolutely can relate. People who have never experienced it just can't comprehend it, literally. They have no frame of reference, so they are at a loss to understand or help. Only if they are a very caring person will they try to understand, but that only goes so far. The closest I was ever able to have my husband understand was when he told of one a time when he was an adult, and entered a neighbor's barn, and a rooster came flying at him. He immediately just about panicked, because he was thrown back to his childhood where the chickens used to pick at his bare feet. Anxiety creates ACTUAL adrenalin (and other hormone) rushes. Most people only experience these rushes in a time of real, large threat. But I now believe, when people have experienced a large amount of stress, even and especially small stress that is constant, these rushes become more and more frequent over small issues. It is NOT just mental but also PHYSICAL. You have to retrain your mind and body not to "surge" over little things. I have found meds can help with that in initial stages or high stress times when it is severe. My life continues to be stressful, so I am still on meds. Anyway, I'm going off topic here.. sorry... If you can get people to understand the PHYSICALITY of it.. sometimes that helps.

hello there to U...it's my first time to hear that kind of phobia or fear or anxiety disorder...i've learned that Agoraphobia means fear from open spaces and the presence of many people around...i've never encountered people with such kinda case so far, and it's my first time to hear that...thank GOD, i have no fears in my life...well, i think it's not the biggest killer of friendship...why would it be? there's nothing wrong with that kind of fear and it isn't your faulty for having that kind of anxiety disorder...people around you should learn to understand your situation and accept you as the way you are...i think in that kind of situation, you will really know who your true friends are...true friends will never leave you nor change the way they treated you as their friends...Agoraphobia is not an excuse why they will avoid you or break the friendship that they have with you, it's an immature reason...now talking about 14 years of relationship with your girlfriend, wow, what can i say...14 years is great, and it should not be losed or wasted or would be taken for granted...it should be treasured and cherished...it's so unbelievable and so sad that your 14 years of relationship would be ended just because of that kind of fear and just because she never did believe there was anything wrong with you...it's not really an excuse and it's so immature that your 14 years of relationship will end just because of that shallow reason...maybe there's another reason why your relationship ended...but if that's really the main reason, it's so unbelievable and so sad to accept it...nothing should gonna stop or hinder her from loving you...what about the moments, the love, and stuffs that the two of you have shared for those past years, i know it may sound corny to you, but it's true, those past years should not be wasted or ended just like that...your girlfriend should think of that and learn to accept you, accept the fact, and love you for the way you are and not for the way that you have...she should learn to put herself in your shoe or think if she's in that kind of situation too like yours and you would still love her...it doesn't matter if you have that kind of anxiety or etc...what's important is love and not thinking about the world around you, what other people will tell or act...what's important is, you'll be together forever and still pursue your relationship...i hope and pray that your girlfriend will realize that she's blessed to have you in her life and will learn to accept you and love you truly the way you love her...i know GOD will make a way...just don't lose hope, have faith, believe, and pray to GOD always... GOD answers prayers... HE will help you to all the trials that you are facing right now...having that kind of fear is just a trial, and you have to face it, fight for it, and be brave with it... GOD will heal you... HE will never leave you nor forsake you...have a blessed day to U...may GOD BLESS U & UR family with lots of blessings and good health...

Well not to the agoraphobia personally. However, I can appreciate why people may be confused about your condition and how it manifests itself. I had a friend with agoraphobia. Prior to developing it he worked in a highly responsible position with the government...and then something triggered it and he became totally housebound. He wouldn't go out...and stayed in the house with the blinds drawn. He also did not want friends to visit. From what I have experienced with patients diagnosed with this disorder...that is how they handle their fear of outside associations. They need to stay confined within a designated comfort zone and have great difficulty in moving beyond it. Some of this comes when patients have commitment and emotional intimacy issues...they create a wall between themselves and others to avoid facing their deeper unresolved emotions. The outer world is mirror to our inner dynamics whether people choose to recognize that or not. I can understand why some people cannot comprehend how you are able to travel and go out and do your work like other fully functioning individuals. They don't have a frame of reference for someone with agoraphobia living and working in seemingly 'normal' ways. We all have our 'presenting faces' and if that is all people see...that is how they interact. Most of us failed mind reading school...so it is not up to others to understand us and what we think, feel and need...it is our job to make others understand us. Perhaps you need to be more open about how your condition affects you and assist them in 'getting it.' Open disclosure and creating safe emotional boundaries might go a long way to helping you move into different comfort zones in how you relate to others. Raia