Hygiene

@carolbee (16230)
United States
January 24, 2008 9:26am CST
If you had a family member who rarely showered, looked dirty, wore dirty clothes and had yucky hair as a result, would you tell this person? It's not someone in our immediate family and not someone who is older who maybe can't bathe regularly. Other people have made comments to me about this person and her nasty appearance. She has children and they are clean and so is her husband. Am really surprised the husband doesn't say something to her.
2 people like this
7 responses
jillhill
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Oh buggers! that's a hard call. I had a friend like that..one day I did say something. She acknowledged that she didn't really like to bath and left it at that. She never did change so I don't know if saying something would help!
1 person likes this
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
This person has had bad hygiene since I've known her. As she gets older, it's worse. I would say something to her husband before I'd mention it to her. She would ream me a new one...lol Thanks for responding.
Mother May I
@tarheelnancy (1317)
• United States
24 Jan 08
I think not showering is unsanitary. If a family member didn't shower I would most definitely let them know. I wouldn't be rude about it but I would drop some obvious hints.
1 person likes this
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
I have tried to drop hints in my own little way and she doesn't get it! It's disgusting and my kids always take a step back when they talk to her because of the smell. Thanks for your suggestion and response.
1 person likes this
tyc415
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Not knowing more about this family it is hard to answer. How many children, how old are the children, does she have help with chores and children? Maybe the husband has mentioned it to her but going about it the wrong way. Maybe her husband should offer to take the kids for a few hours and let her have some alone time for herself. Some women do so much for their children and husbands to keep them all fed, cleaned, clothed in nice clean clothes a nice clean house that by the time it comes to doing for theirselves they are just too tired to do anything.
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
The children are teens and older. Her house is also a major disaster in filth. I agree, it's hard at times when the kids are small to stay on top of some things. I can't find a reason why the lack of showering or simply keeping clean is an issue. She's younger than I am..lol Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
I don't believe she's depressed. I'd understand if that were the problem. Think she's lazy, seriously.
tyc415
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Oh my goodness. I sure hope she is not ill, depression can sure make you do or not do so many things. I hope she gets help if that is the case. As for her house, with teens at home they should be helping out around the house.
tiffiny
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
24 Jan 08
I know what you mean. My sister is attracted to guys who fit this bill. Finally she married one. But I'm like how can you be around that. She's not like that. I just keep my mouth shut just because I don't want to deal with the drama but I've said things to my sister. So maybe asking to hubby. Or bringing it to his attention.
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Is she still married to him and has she said anything to her husband? I really don't think the person I am talking about cares at all. But I would think her kids or her husband would complain. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
tiffiny
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Yeah she's still married to him. I don't know how you could be like "Get out of my bed and take a shower. That bar thingy is soap use it!" But that's just me. I know that my sister doesn't care and he obviously doesn't either. I have no great advice except yeah it's nasty. Lol
Mamagee
@Mamagee (392)
• Malaysia
25 Jan 08
If the person is my family member, I'll tell her directly that she has a dirty look and smelly. This will make other people stay away fron her. I'll tell her that I'm not trying to humiliate her but to help her. Everybody will look pretty with good personal appearance and a clean clothing. I'll buy something that can help her to realise that other people don't like her habbit such as personal care good.
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Yes, this person is related to me by marriage. I don't admit she's a family member. If I do run into her when I'm out I do keep my distance. There's no excuse for this habit. A shower takes maybe 5-10 minutes! Thanks for responding.
lala766
@lala766 (239)
• United States
25 Jan 08
maybe she was never taught about cleanliness when she was a child. I have a teen-ager who I am constantly teaching about good hygeine.
lala766
@lala766 (239)
• United States
25 Jan 08
I would definetly say something! some people need to be told before they correct gross habits...you can even buy her some nice bath salts and shampoo!
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
25 Jan 08
She's been this way since I can remember. I think she's lazy and doesn't care about her appearance. Difficult for me to understand. Thanks for responding.
TerryZ
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Hi carolbee Im suprised the hubby doesnt say anything either.LOL I dont think I would say anything to her. I just wouldnt feel right doing that. I wouldnt want to hurt her feelings. Maybe show her some body spray and ask her if she likes it. If she says yes give it to her.LOL
carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
24 Jan 08
Great response.....rofl I don't think she cares at all about her appearance. I don't think her husband cares either. I am, however, surprised her kids don't say anything to her. The oldest is a boy and he's about 24. I think he would notice and be so ashamed her of. I am related to her by marriage but don't have the guts to say anything. Don't want to stir up the pot. Thanks for responding.