In Law
By drkimble05
@drkimble05 (191)
United States
January 25, 2008 9:16am CST
Do you get along with your in laws?
I do get along with my inlaws, nut some times i feel like i being used. its like every time they call, they want something. or they want us to do something for them.
After almost 3 years im getting tired of this feeling. what should i do?
since i decied 2008 is going to be great i have also decieded to tell people how they make me feel. i usually hold every thing in and dont say any thing, but i just dont know how to get started.
i really blame this part of my life on when i was young, i used to alway do things i didnt want to do, but i felt like i had to, just because i wasnt grown (things like baby sitting and changing diapers) im learning now that even then i could have said no.
help me how do i tell my inlaws no? how do i start speaking up for myself? help me break this habit.
2 people like this
6 responses
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
25 Jan 08
I don't get along with my in-laws at all. I haven't spoken to them in over a year and I don't want to.
I think the first thing you need to do is just start saying no to small things that you know aren't really imperative and keep a back-up plan on call in case you need an excuse to say no.
Do they usually call you at the last minute, or just all the time?
2 people like this
@drkimble05 (191)
• United States
25 Jan 08
bith because we have a car and they dont
1 person likes this
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Well, I would suggest starting by saying no to the things that aren't last minute, so it's not like your stranding them. That will teach them to start trying to find their own way and not ALWAYS relying on you.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Many in laws think that you own them something. It is relly difficult to deal with people who suddenly are part of your family...they have to back off a little and let you to have your own life...
@drkimble05 (191)
• United States
25 Jan 08
yes! even their son wants them to back off, but he wont say it. he does want to hurt theri feelings.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
26 Jan 08
Frankly, I have a so-so relationship with my in-laws...we aren't too friendly or at each other's necks. We meet once in a year over a meal and are cordial to each other then.
I actually consider my husband's aunts and grandmothers to be my true in-laws because he grew up with them and considers all of them his mothers...and I have a great relationship with them.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
26 Jan 08
Well, I'm not sure how you could handle doing everything for them. I wouldn't be able to say know if we had a very good relationship with my in-laws....but come to think of it, if I had a good relationship, I probably would be able to. My in-laws never call last minute...but sometimes, I've decided to help them when I know they need it and they don't ask thinking it's last minute.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
27 Jan 08
I get along with mine just fine but they do not use me either...I would tell them of your new years resolution, and i would tell them that i am sticking by it..The next time they want you to do something and if you don't want to do ot just tell them you don't want to..You are not under obligation to do anything that you do not want to do..I cannot think of anything worse than to have to do something you do not want to do.....If you feel that you do not feel like standing up to them, because i know that it is hard for some people to say NO! just tell the you don't feel like it,or just tell them you do not feel well,and you don't feel well when you are being under obligation....
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
25 Jan 08
Okay, here's how you do it. Stand up. Stick your chest out. Now say it with me. "nnnn-oooooo". Lets try it in spanish, "No!" Its easy, you tell me no all the time lol.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
25 Jan 08
ha, ha...I love it...seams like Spanish is easy too....
1 person likes this
@drkimble05 (191)
• United States
25 Jan 08
okay let me see nnnooooo!!! nnnoooo! no!! now spanish nnooo!! no!! ok i thonk i got it.
1 person likes this
@CanuckPrince (1052)
• Halifax, Nova Scotia
27 Jan 08
first off yes i get along just fine with my inlaws :) they didnt care much for me at first i dont think cuz i took their daughter far from home but after a few years and lots of doings i think they like me much more than originally lol :D in answer to your other question id say you should just come right out and tell them exactly what you said here.. and in the future perhaps learn to say no a bit more :P
