Would you let your Husband or Wife or Mate have a friend that was the opposite

No, your husband should be talking to you not another woman. This is a slippery slope, and too often what starts as friendship turns into something more. I am not saying this happens all the time, but the danger is there. Just from what you wrote about her calling his cell phone is a bad indication that something isn't right. I would definately have a problem with it if it was my husband.

I have many ladies here as my close friends.I exchange my views freely with them.They also seem to like me.In real life also I have many lady friends.My wife never bothers about it though she cannot stand some of them.Shes is a classy girl.

I was going to say that you shouldnt worry about it...til I read your response about her answering his cell phone AND calling his cell at all hours of the night....THAT would have me drilling him questions hardcore...I could care less if my husband has female friends BUT there has to be limits, respect and brutal honesty and as far as I'm concerned her answering his phone and calling in the middle of the night is NOT acceptable UNLESS he could give me a VALID reason as to why she did....and I'm a great judge of character AND I can bust a person in a lie real quick so his response BETTER please me and be believable or caca is gonna hit the fan! NOW that all being said....have you talked to him about it and shared your concerns etc etc AND (and this is a big one) do you TRUST your husband? Whether or not you trust her is irrelivent...if you trust HIM then you have no worries..but if you are concerned that he WON'T behave properly then I'd put my foot down and put ppl in their damn place...

I don't think I would deal with that very well. I have been cheated on way too many times before by trusting in that with past relationships. I don't think my husband should ever need to call a nother girl for anything. He should be calling me only.

Have you ever met this woman? You seem like the type who can tell if something is not right. I personally would have a real big problem with it. I would tell him that I am not comfortable with the relationship that you have with her and it needs to end. If he needs someone to talk to, he can talk to a female in his family or go see a counselor.

Hi, marciascott. I think that you need to be honest with your husband about your feelings concerning this. Especially feeling like she does sneaky things and that he is always johnny on the spot for her. Yes, I would be okay with my husband having a female friend that I was also friends with... to answer your question.

Well, for me its ok that he has a girl friend as long as its pure friendship and they know their limits. When couples get married, they should not loose their individuality in making friends. They should go out with their own friends but not grow apart. If you are not comfortable with it, then let him know. You can discuss things and compromise. Let him know what you feel and what you think.

Honey anything your husband does in the open is not to be worried about..Mine never even acted like he glanced at other women and he was *#@%^*+# them in the numbers..Nobody suspected..After being with this man about 30 years all in all. xoxoxoxoxo

Hi :) thats ok unless you trust your husband. talk to your husband about her,dont worry about it, Mutual Understanding is the secret formula of a happy marriage so talk both in gentle manner act like your husband bestfriend too. 'a good marriage even im not married yet, would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband' :-D the wife will not see the man's weaknesses and the husband will not hear her nagging. If one is inclined towards jealousy,one must try to restrain suspicious over the the partner's movement since they may not at all be justifiable. hope you got some idea from me see yah again! take care and God Bless... jhaz

What would make me worry about this situation, is that the lady friend is not friends with both of you! Then I wouldn't worry! But if she is only friends with your husband, I personally would be cautious!

As long as all they are doing is talking it may actually help your marriage. Sometimes folks just need someone else to talk to. It does not mean they are out shopping. They just need to see things in a different light or maybe ask questions that you would not be interested in. Or even talk shop who knows. I always worked in a "man's field". I did construction work so I had male friends. I never looked on them as anything other than guys I worked with or around. I had no other interest in them. I certainly did not want to date them. But I did talk to them. We had a lot in common. My husband knew nothing about construction. He worked in an office and didn't know which end of a hammer to hold.lol Give your husband a chance. Keep the lines of communication open and love him. Don't give him any reason to go "shopping"! Shalom~Adoniah

usually if a guy is open about seeing another girl as a friend it means nothing screwy is going on...its the people they hang out they don't want to share any info about you have to be suspicious of!! if anything, talk to him about it an non-confrontational way if it is bothering you, otherwise I would not worry too much...if she is single, maybe you can introduce her to another guy to get her mind off your husband, lol

It would be really hard, I guess it depends on the circumstances. If he has just recently made this friend, i would be really jealous. As I do not know anything about this person, what their intentions are. However if he has known this person for alot of years, then I probably would not be so worried as nothing has developed from this friendship before. However in saying this I would not like them going on outings like the movies or anything. I would try and be friends with her too, so it is more of a mutual frienship and not just his friend. Also you guys have been married 13 years, sounds like you have a pretty solid relationship,you can trust each other. It is a tough decision, I would also not like it he was disclosing private information to this friend, he should be consoling in you instead. Hope this helps. Keep me updated.

honestly if i were you i really wouldnt worry about it. being married for 13 years must be amazing and you must have alot of trust so i wouldnt worry about it. I know sometimes girls get very jelous but thats just our nature. maybe you should try talking to him about it if you are really bothered

When I was married my hubby used to have women friends that he went to high school with, and I never felt threatened, I knew with 100% certainty that they were just friends. My one uncle always did things for other gals when they needed help, or he'd offer. His wife was behind him because she knew the women, and knew their spouses had passed. She trusted him, and I don't believe he was the type of person to be unfaithful, just helpful and caring about other humans. If they're trying to hide something, then it might be viewed as suspicious. If they're friendly to all alike, other men & women, they're probably just friendly caring souls. I don't know, but I think it all boils down to trust, and if they've ever done anything distrustful or cheating prior. I think you just have to be fair and go with your gut on it. There's nothing worse than being distrustful of somebody when there isn't any reason to be so(my ex was like that and was distrustful if somebody even said hi, then that was proof of an affair! He said he was like that because his girlfriend before me was cheating. Hello! I'm NOT her, and I don't believe in cheating lol) Good luck with that, it's harder than heck when you're not sure. Hugs, Joy

Well let me ask you this...how close are they? Do they talk frequently? My hubby has a lady friend online he plays internet games with. That is fine...but there is such a thing as crossing the line. I will give you an example Not to long ago she decided to buy my daughters a gift. Wrongo! I don't know you, and I don't want some other woman I don't know, buying my children gifts...Especially if they have a relationship, albeit internet games with my hubby...to me, that is crossing the line. Now if I had spoken with her and okayed it, that would have been different.

Don't worry it, maybe you in jealousy. But trust your husband eh..

Sure. I don't mind if my husband has female friends. He picked me, not them. One of his best friends is a woman. She's about his age, but she's pretty short and is round as she is tall. He doesn't like large women. Do I mind if they talk? No. He could be talking to a Playboy model and I wouldn't mind. He comes home to me at night. That's all that matters. He knows what he has to lose if he cheats and that's a bridge he's not going to cross.

Have you ever seen Diary of A Mad Black Woman? Or any of the Madea movies? It is like she said in one of them, you want to know if your husband is having an affair? Do you think he is? Thats how you know! I think God gave women a keen intuition on things like this. My intuition has been spot on in every relationship and I think yours is too! She has to go but I think it will take finesse as opposed to brute force. Do you believe in Prayer and God? If so I would pray for protection of my marriage and I would pray that ANY inappropriate relationship to be ended. I would also do as someone else suggested make him VERY HAPPY (wink, wink). Keeping a marriage is work and girl its time to go to work!

sometimes it can be ok and sometimes it can be torture. i think that he will still do whatever he wants and there is not much that words can do about it. I think you should know where you stand in the relationship and what the other girl means to him, you might score gold and he could say he doesn't like her but she wont stop hanging around. If it is a good friend then you shouldn't try to take that away from him we all need good friends around or we get depressed.