lonelyness

I used to feel that way... I was on a quest.. a quest to find truth (I needed to know). I couldn't understand how everyone else didn't need to know.. and didn't seem to care to know.. It was years ago. My husband and I were young and we would go camping almost every weekend with a group of friends in the mountains. My husband rode a dirt bike around during the day, and I would hike alone, and then every one kidded around with one another, around the campfire in the evenings. There was a lot of friendliness and camaraderie, but I felt separate from it. And they too felt separate from me, because I was, you know, one of those weird and serious religious type persons. Somehow I found other companions.. And they brought me back around full circle, til now when I am right in the middle and so full of good family and friends.. Yes, I am the wealthiest person alive. Each person is a jewel, and every moment with each one is very enjoyable. I'm an astrologer and a born again christian. I've learned so much! I wouldn't trade having been a stay at home mom, cause it gave me (eventually) time to seek and contemplate.. I thought of myself as somewhat of a hermit for a long while (and I still do! I don't have much to do with the 'rat race') - I wouldn't trade one moment of that solitude and seeking, because wow, did I ever find answers. Answers which give me great peace, which is sort of like an inner fountain like joy.. and I feel great closeness and oneness with all my wonderful family(s) and friends and with all people. I'm free to be happy, no matter what.. and through all trials and joys alike, because I know that Life itself, the spark, which is life, is God (Himself) and he can only be Perfect.. therefore the 'end' result of all this (human history, free-will and the falling-apartness) can only be the best 'end' result possible. Nothing else is even remotely possible.

As long as your thoughts are not contrary to accepted social standards, you are normal. You are abnormal if your thoughts are not normal of course. Try to socialize more! You can do it.