Should I invite my son’s friends?
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
India
January 29, 2008 4:00am CST
My only brother-in-law is getting married on the 22nd of next month. Being an only child of my parents, he is the only ‘brother’ I have seen up close for 10+years. And he has reciprocated every inch of my love and respect for him. We are a very close-knit family and being the ever-indulgent uncle, he has asked my 8yr old son (his only nephew) whether he wants to invite any of his friends for the wedding reception. My son has opted for two of his many ‘best friends’. Till this its OK but an 8yr old can’t come alone. So we have to invite their parents too. Even that is OK (addition of 4 people hardly matter in a crowd of 300) but the problem is that we know none of the parents. I have never spoken to either of the mothers nor has my husband ever interacted with the fathers. Now my son is adamant and his uncle thinks a child should have his rights in so important a matter as his uncle’s wedding. (they even decided on the menu together). I don’t want to be the only spoilsport here.
Now do I call up the parents and invite myself over to their house to hand over the wedding card? Or do I ask my child to hand over the cards in the school itself and I make a cursory telecall and request the parents to attend? Which would be more civil and expected? And do you think they would come and should I mind if they don’t?
PS: A barrage of questions I know, but I am so confused.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@SViswan (12051)
• India
30 Jan 08
If you have the time, go personally to invite them. It will also give you a chance to meet with the parents of your son's friends...and you can carry it forward from there.
But if time is a constraint, send the invitation through your son and talk to them on the phone. But make it a point to tell them that you do not have the time to go over to invite them.
The best option is to personally go over....they might come (I know I would if one of my son's friends invited me..or rather the parents did)....but you don't have to mind if they don't either. They probably would feel left out with all your relatives and that is why they might avoid. It would help your son enjoy too.
My sister is a teacher and she was married two months back....she sent an invite to all her students (of course, she couldn't personally call everyone's parents). The students are 4 year olds and 5 of them turned up for the wedding with their parents. It was wonderful...the rest sent their wishes later.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
30 Jan 08
Of course, they won't mind! They would probably love the chance to meet you (especially with their kids being your son's friends).
And for my sister, I made separate cards and envelopes for the little kids and sent them across. There are only 12 kids in her class and they are so cute...one of them told their mother after the wedding '--- Miss looks like a Star' (lol...probably some reference to a christams tree)
You can also tell the parents that your son will be disappointed if their kids don't turn up...so please come and they can have a good time too. This is how relationships are forged and don't worry. I think the problem here is you are shy and hesitant to take the first step. I'm sure they'll make you comfortable because you will be meeting them at their place.
All the best:)
I would have loved to come if I could:) Btw..where is it at?
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
4 Feb 08
‘you are shy and hesitant to take the first step’…at 35, I really don’t know when I will grow up lol! But you are bang correct.
The ceremony is to be held at Calcutta, where we reside.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
30 Jan 08
Yes, it has been decided. I am going with my son most probably this Sunday to invite them personally. They wont mind na??? Me just barging in like that! Actually this is what was stopping me. I will have to call them up before ofcourse and let them know that I would be dropping in. and yes, even if they don’t come I wont mind, but my poor darling will definitely be heart-broken.
It is wonderful to know that you would have come if invited and it was really nice of your sister to invite all the little darlings.
@aissha (2036)
• India
30 Jan 08
what i think is this ur son and since he is so admant and in a way he is inviting so go with him to his friends houses and then invite them sply the children not just parents then parents will also feel invited and the children will be so happy that they were acknowledged in adult's world.
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
29 Jan 08
hi sudipta! ^__^
i think its not wholly your decision to make whether or not to invite your son's friends. i think it is your brother's decision although you can still take part on making that decision. since it was your brother's idea to invite your son's friends, and your son is adamant on it, and there's really nothing wrong with inviting their parents, i think you should invite them. that actually would be a good opportunity to meet the parents of your son's friends. and i think the best way to invite them is go to their house with your son and much better if you bring your brother, and hand them the invitation. then tell them, your son wants to invite his friends and that you think they should accompany their children. ^__^
goodluck and congratulations to your brother! ^__^
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
30 Jan 08
Yeah, wish me luck. Its just that I am always shaky when I have to meet completely unknown people for the first time. Even last night I had a final showdown with everybody and finally its decided that I will have to go with the brat to his friend's home to hand over the cards. Oh the responsibilites of a married woman!
@kwenge (2487)
• Kenya
29 Jan 08
Yes, you just have to call the parents, tell them the intention of your call and agree on where to meet to deliver the wedding card incase they wont be comfortable for you to go to their house for dinner. Or maybe you invite them to come over your house.
I am sure they will oblige to come to the wedding for the sake of their sons. If they don't show up, you dont mind at all maybe they don't like to be see by a crowd or something.
I wish you all the best.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
30 Jan 08
Yes, kwenge, I am going to their house (much to my consternation). I will make it maybe next Sunday and then the wedding preparations are to start in full swing. Indian weddings are very family affairs and a lot is expected by the elders from the daughter-in-law of the house (me, in this case). I have already started developing cold feet.
