I just couldn't believe this right here...
By disvachic
@disvachic (10117)
United States
January 29, 2008 4:17pm CST
Last Friday my child's father was over my house chillin and everything.He had been drinking heavily so I allowed him to stay and sleep on the sofa.So my phone rings so I answered and held a 10 minute conversation with a good friend.So out of the blue my child's father jumped up and asked me what my problem was and why was my phone ringing that time of the night.He was all upset.The man actually started hitting me.It was very shocking and it really upset my children.My oldest daughter was yelling and my son was snapping kicking and hitting the walls.It was horrible.It was a nigtmare.I told him to get out.When he did leave he said the Kids saved me.Now that is a terrible thing to say.I was so upset and scared.He calls but his calls are really ignored right about now.On the voice mail He says he is sorry and its all his fault etc.He really dont want to accept the fact we are not together anymore.I really feel sad for women men who are abused I mean to get hit on is not a good feeling.He is not allowed in my house anymore.He has really violated and he messed up a good thing. A while back I started a discussion about abusive relationships here is the link if anyone cares to look http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/1098373.aspx
I have no respect for him anymore.He has never did this before.I still cant get over it.If anyone out there is being abused please do your best to leave its not worth it.
9 people like this
22 responses
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
11 Feb 08
I know you will girlie.I hope you and your family are keeping it strong.
1 person likes this
@bestisyettocome (1531)
• United States
10 Feb 08
My friend, this is terrible! Please keep him away from you and the children! You are worth so much more than that. If he wishes to be involved, insist he go to counseling. If he's serious about being involved, he will go. You were so kind to even allow him in your home. Good luck and heed your own advice, friend.
Jodigirl
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
11 Feb 08
Thank you so much for your words.How you been?I have seen you in a while.
@bestisyettocome (1531)
• United States
11 Feb 08
I'm doing okay, thanks for asking! I'm still around, here and there. I'll tell you about things, soon...
1 person likes this
@marciascott (25529)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Where is He, I am going to beat his A$$, you don't deserve that and the kids should not see this kind of thing going on, especially Boys, it can make them want to do the same thing, because they will think that it is ok, alot of times when Kids, see their parents fight, they end up being abusive to their spouse or friend.
I hope you talk to your Children about this and tell them it isn't right. Call the Police on him. You said he never hit you well once that do it the first time, if you don't nip it in the bud it will happen again. You said he was drinking, sounds like he needs help.
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I was really shocked he did something like that.Yes Marcia I have talked to my children and you are right if he do it once he will do it again.Thanks for stopping by.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 08
Sweetie I am so sorry that this has happened to you and I really hope that you are ok
I went through that in the first year of my Marriage and then after that he switched to mental abuse instead
Please stay away from him Sweetie he might be sorry but you just don't know
I do hope you are ok
Love and Hugs to you
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
oh Lordy mental abuse is bad to.Sorry you went through that gabs and im glad you left.I will stay away from him for sure. Like someone said he will try it again.Thanks for being concern gabs.Hugs 2 u 2
@quiltedblessings (1066)
• United States
29 Jan 08
You were right to kick him out and to not allow him back in. If it were me, and he attempts to force his way back in, then it is time for a restraining order.
Sounds like he is an angry drunk, and should not be allowed around the kids or you if he can't get that under control.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Yes he has a temper but never put his hands on me before.
@quiltedblessings (1066)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I didn't want to get into my history, but I will say this. Once a guy hits you, he is quite able and likely to do it again. Go with your gut on this one. I let a guy come back once after an incident similar to yours. I bought into his apology. 9 months later, the same thing happened again, this time worse. So, that being said, keep yourself and your kids safe.
1 person likes this
@lightningd (1039)
• United States
29 Jan 08
I would be getting a restraining order against him. Make all visitation with the children set by appointment and you meet in a public place to exchange them between you. This is your home, not his, and for him to act the way he did and start hitting you , that was out of line. It was also out of line to say that the kids saved you. That was a threat. You have got to watch out for the safety of you and your children.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Yes definitely a threat.Saying that could mean anything...Thanks I think I may go ahead and get a restraining order even though he hasn't been making anymore threats but you never know what may be going on in his head.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
most definitely polly.So I'm really glad I made the right decision.My kids even said he is crazy.My oldest daughter said she has nothing to say to him.
@mytwo_daughters (2663)
• United States
29 Jan 08
oh my goodness! get a restraining order if you need it....How horrible. If you need to talk privately you have my email right? I'm sorry, that is terrible that that happened to you! I hope things get better.
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
29 Jan 08
thank u. how u been? i havent seen you in a good while.I will defintely message you.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
30 Jan 08
good for you girl, he lost his priviledge of having any meaningful relationship with you,
and that includes visiting at the house.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
30 Jan 08
OH HELL NO!!! I learned a long time ago that when an ex shows up drunk, its best to NOT let him stick around...My ex did that to me when I was preg with our daughter and our son was only a yr old AND my 8 yr old neice was sleeping over...He decided to threaten me when I told him to leave, he informed that I needed to go up the street and call the cops (I didnt ahve a phone) and as soon as I was out the door he'd take off with our son and I'd never see him again!! Needless to say I didnt leave the house because when my ex was liquored up on whiskey like he was that night, he was VERY unpredictable...It wasnt a pretty scene at all....
I'm sorry you had to deal with this and even more sorry your kids were subjected to his bs behaviour! Stand your ground and DO NOT allow him in your home least of all when he's boozed up! That sort of behaviour is BEYOND unacceptable IMO....
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
warning you that you needed to call the police so he knew it was going to get ugly...
thats real trifling.
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
30 Jan 08
HUGSSSS I am soooo sorry to read about what you had to go through disvachic and good on you for kicking him out! Aargh men like this make me so mad!!!! Hope you're doing ok and sorry this reply was late!!
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Hey girlie you are okay with the response.We all get behind.At first my nerves were all shaken up but im good now.Really they are not men they are punks.
1 person likes this
@aamoore (61)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Hey. I read your first discussion and it is sad how people allow themselves to be abused by their man or their woman. You will need to report this and get a restraining order against him. Not all men or woman who do something stupid are bad people, sometimes it's bad judgement, but by him saying that the kids saved you, it sounds to me like he has done this before with someone else.
I'm glad you let him know he should leave. He should also be able to see his child under supervision as he may use your child against you. Just a thought.
I hope all will be well with you and your family.
I'm happy you let us know about this, but also, if you have not already, you should let the police know about this immediately, as you would regret it if something were to happen and in court, they ask why you did not let the authorities know in advance.
You take care of yourself.
Peace.
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Yes I thought i would bring this up on mylot.thank you for your kind words.i will definitely do this.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
30 Jan 08
You know already you did the right thing. Not allowing him back in your home is good. If he ever threatens you again, I would seriously consider forbidding him to see his child again as well. Your kids don't need to be exposed to that type of violence and threats. A restraining order would be best, you never know where some peoples minds are. I hope your kids are able to get over all of it soon. (((HUGS)))
1 person likes this
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Yes I think a restraining order will be the best.I hope my kids will to but right now they have no words for him.thanks misheleen
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
28 Sep 08
You are a kind hearted person but dont let your child's father to take advantage of your generosity. Safeguard yourself first and your children. Don't let him anywhere near you again.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
30 Jan 08
it is very very sad incident i must say. its very bad when one of the [person is so abusive and he just hits you nothing for. Its actually very very abusing. I think he behaved that way as he was drunk. i must say its my guess. But you have done right thing by allowing him not to enter the house anymore. its good to keep away from this person.
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Sorry to hear that about your younger days but its a new day and you are free now.Thanks for responding.
@wrongway (277)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I am so glad to hear that you are not only smart enough but strong enough to get him out of your life. It is not always an easy thing to do, especially when there are children involved.
When people talk about abuse everyone immediately thinks of physical abuse but never give a thought to other types of abuse. Actually there are 13 different types of abuse with physical, mental, and emotional being the best known. My daughter was in an abusive realtionship and he never laid a hand on her. He was a control freak! He kept her at home, always pregnant, no car, no phone, and he called all the shots. Finally after 10 years my daughter left him and went to a women's shelter. She was very surprised to find out that what he was doing to her was considered abuse.
Everyone needs to be treated like a human being and with respect. If not, it could be a form of abuse.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
29 Jan 08
Wow I wish all women were as strong as you. Thank you for taking a stand. I wrote this a few years ago as I myself would not accept this situation but so many do out of fear. Please let me share
Battered and Bruised
My body may be battered and bruised
from you no more will I be abused
Inside I'm strong
What you did was wrong
Today I'll start to sing my song
Life you see still goes on.
Freedom is the gift you've given me
It took this event to make me really see
Just how joyful freedom can be.
You may have thought you loved me
What you did in fact was control
I've now taken my own direction
It might be a winding road ahead
But now I'm relaxed at night
I now sleep in my bed.
My body may be battered and bruised
But bruises heal. Time to heal yourself
I'm still your friend, I still care
Release your bruised heart if you dare.
1 person likes this
@Briauna2008 (17)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I'm so glad u decided 2 get out right away b/c no1 deserves 2 be abused.
1 person likes this
