Temprance/self control - how does having it or lacking it affects you?
By Sharon38
@Sharon38 (1912)
Jamaica
January 30, 2008 10:57am CST
I have always learnt that having self control is a very good quality to cultivate and nurture. Why? The Bible says that a man who rules his spirit is better than a man who controls two cities (paraphrasing).
Actually, I was as ill tempered as an old donkey as we would say here in Jamaica and I would allow every little thing to upset me then I would blow my top without taking in regard what I say or who heard.
Being more matured as an individual and as a christian, I realised that this was only hurting me and cuasing me to lose face with friends and others.
My current supervisor was in a bad mood some time last week and I knew that she was in that state but somehow I made a mistake and she got upset with me. I never answered I just listened and left her office. A coworker said to me that I was kissing up to her but experience has taught me that even when you feel to tell them off, hold it in and stay calm and the situation will take care of itself. Furthermore I wiil not put myself in a position where I would lose my work and then have to worry about paying the bills or to take care of my daughter's education.
So mylotters that experience teaches wisdom and I have learnt that it is wise to hold the tongue even when I am correct - for peace sake- I take the wrong.
So how about you? Have you control over your tongue/spirit/temper? I have learnt to do so and would love your sharing of experiences. God bless
4 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
31 Jan 08
This is one of the main things that I am working on right now. I have never been real good with self-control or boundaries. I had never even heard of boundaries until I was in my thirties. I am doing much better than before.
I use to get upset and blow my top. I would just vent everything and did not care how it affected anyone else. Especially, when the other person was at fault. Now, I am learning about how to take a time out and think things through and calm down before reacting.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 08
Oh Rozie I am so happy for you. During my earlier years, my temper got me into so much troule that I had to take a mental check and count to 200 before I responded. Sometimes I really want to let it out but I remember that I should be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. It helps. I tell myself that when I get so angry and it becomes easier each time. Sometimes things that we blow our tops for are so trivial and petty so I try to keep it checked and God has helped me alot with it too
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
1 Feb 08
Thank you so much for reminding me of that scripture. There are many of them in the Bible that speak of us having self control. In fact, that is one of the fruits of the spirit. That is how I have always known it is so important. But, we definitely need God's help to master this area. I know that I have a BIG mouth too.
1 person likes this
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
31 Jan 08
Hello Sharon! What a wonderful and mature approach! I too believe in the "turn the other cheek" philosophy. I have learned this through my children who practice martial arts and are wise beyond their years. I used to get upset so easily, whether at home or work. Now I've learned the true value of patience and control. Not only am I in better mood, but my blood pressure is back to normal. When I begin to feel that loss of control approaching, I just step back, take a deep breath and ask myself "Does it really matter?" Usually the answer is no and I can shrug it off. If more people had that attitude, the world would be a much more peacful place. Peace to you my friend!
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 08
Yes this is what I really want to hear that you have indeed learnt and still in the process as I am. No need to get our feathers ruffled over trivial matters which may lead to a heart attack, loss of friends, loss of earnings to name a few. God bless you and keep on maturing my friend. Certainly this world would be a better place if we all learnt to take control of our tempers.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
30 Jan 08
I think you handled yourself very well even if you didn't make a mistake. Some bosses must have control and in order to do so, jump all over their co-workers. I had a boss with this type of personality and he was eventually fired. Paybacks are terrible..lol
With age comes maturity and part of maturity is controlling emotions. We still have feelings and opinions but don't always need to share our inner feelings.
I do hold my tongue all the time at work since I am not the boss and respect upper management. I like having a job where I have very little responsibility as it fits my temperment. I can take orders and directions.
Again, I think you did the right thing. Wouldn't be much point in arguing with the boss since you want to keep your job. I believe you have your priorities in order.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 08
Thank you Carolbee and I see that you hit the nail right on the head. To me it does make any sense I misbehave and then will have to worry about how I will manage. I always believe in honouring those who are set over us in authority even though may behave very badly to me at times.
@MAHESH2008 (844)
• India
31 Jan 08
Hi sharon , You are right. Self control is very much important in life. Infact self control is the key to success in life. self control is percieved in few ways.one of which is one own's will on their self- their behavours, action, thought process. Much of these comes from the perception of self and ability to setup boundary for himself.Self control can be expanded from respect to willpower. Self control therefore centered in ability of a person to exert their will over inhabition of their body or self. One of my friend always says " Sclience is golden and speech is silver".
