Found on Curriculum Vitae

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1. I am very detail-oreinted. 2. My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. 3. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty! 4. Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. 5. I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt. 6. Graduated in the top 66% of my class. 7. Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately. 8. I am a rabid typist. 9. Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math. 10. I worked as a Corporate Lesion. 11. Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel. 12. Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis. 13. Special skills: Thyping. 14. My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend. 15. Personal Goal: To hand-build a classic cottage from the ground up using my father-in-law. 16. Education: Graduated from predatory school with honours. 17. Never been fired, although it could happen any time now. 18. I have happily been a “kept man” for the past 10 years. 19. Referees available upon request. 20. Cover letter: Desire the chance to showcase my delightful personality, intelligence and superior judgement, which are so hard to find these days. 21. Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes. 22. Objective: To obtain a position where I can make a difference, infecting others with my professionalism, enthusiasm and dedication. 23. Strengths: Impersonal skills. 24. Please explain any breaks in your employment career: 15 minute coffee break while working at a home improvement store. all the best urban