Online Chatting
By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4693)
United States
January 31, 2008 2:13pm CST
Do you prefer chatting online with people you know or people you don't know? When I refer to "people you know," does it have to be someone you've seen in real life or is it someone you "met" online and got to know through online communication? (When I refer to "people you don't know," I mean that you've never communicated with them before in your life.) Do you like to "hide" behind your computer, screename and/or chat ID, and e-mail while you communicate with someone you don't really know? Do you like to know who you're chatting with (as in, do you like when they send you a picture of themselves so you can see what they look like and know who you're talking to)? Do you like the mysteriousness of chatting online? Do you think you could ever find a marriage companion through chatting online?
4 people like this
20 responses
@aero89 (422)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I think making new friends with people you have never met is an awesome thing. Obviously, there are great people all over the world and the advances of technology allow us to invite them into our homes whenever we like. We can hear new ways of thinking, new ideas, jokes, even just learn a new way to be a friend!
Of course, there are drawbacks - no inflection, no facial expressions, etc. I think if you are going to chat, you should make it as vivid and colorful as possible so the other person really gets you. However, there are times when the person just doesn't get it, and that can be difficult to deal with.
On the other hand, chatting with people you already know in real life seems more of like an extension of real life - since they know your mannerisms and attitudes firsthand, and you know theirs. There is more of a comfort level. One thing about chatting with someone you know is a lot of times, there's not much to say. And of course, there's being absolutely certain that you can trust the person you already know, whereas as close as you can become to a stranger, they are still 'strangers'.
All in all, I'd say the two choices must remain separate, "friends v. strangers"... because there really isn't a comparison. Each has its own benefits and downfalls.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
14 Mar 08
Hi, Aero. I'd say you covered all your bases on this one! I couldn't agree with you more on your response. Thanks for outlining the advantages and disadvantages too. That really lays it out for people to see what can and does happen while chatting. I think chatting is also what you make of it! It's like you said, it should be a colorful experience. It's funny you would mention things such as vocal inflection and facial expression. I remember one time when my fiance and I were chatting online, he typed something that I most definitely took the wrong way. He meant it to be sarcastic and funny, but I took it as he was angry or upset with me. It's interesting how things change when we talk on the phone or in person! To tell you the truth, I've taken things the wrong way over the phone too. He's said something to me on the phone and I couldn't see (or hear) him smile, so I took it the wrong way...again. (LOL) It doesn't happen too often, but it's quite funny (after the fact) when it does. Thanks for your thorough response. It was enjoyable to read.
@aero89 (422)
• United States
14 Mar 08
Yes hehe, it's true; sometimes even on the phone or in person, things can get taken the wrong way. It's good to know that the two of you didn't hold it against the other!! It is funny in hindsight a lot of times, though. Ah, the beauty of forgiveness/understanding.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
31 Jan 08
well I am very friendly I run an online e-zine so I get many new people emailing me and chatting with me all the time, I don't mind at all.
I met my fiance through an online dating service 8 years ago and we have been together ever since.
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@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
31 Jan 08
I know you are a friendly person because I have the pleasure of reading all of your wonderful responses! I would also love to check out your e-zine sometime if you would allow. I'm glad you are involved in and appreciate online communication. It's very neat how advanced those types of things are becoming. How exciting hearing about you and your fiance meeting online! That's a very interesting way of meeting, but it's entirely possible. My cousin met his wife online, and he's from the U.S. and his wife is from Kenya, Africa! My aunt also met her husband online and they've been together for about six years (and counting). In my opinion, it's entirely possible to meet online, get married, and live happily ever after because I've seen it done. I wish you and your fiance the best! By the way, when is the wedding?
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
31 Jan 08
you are always free to join the e-zine it is free, the site is: http://subs.zinester.com/98907
I don't know when we will get married, so many complications, we might not it is just not a priority for us at this time.
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@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
1 Feb 08
Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, tore the t-shirt up into little bits. I love chatting with friends mainly via Mylot of course and other social sites but I don't like chatting to strangers. I used to go on dating sites and chat to people that way but half the time they were not who they made themselves out to be and I even had the misfortune of meeting some of them! That was in my youth (eons ago!) I am not into finding anyone because I am very happily single. I feel more comfortable talking to women than men online hence most of my friends on here and Yuwie are women!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I (obviously) enjoy getting to know people here on myLot the most also. I can understand why you no longer enjoy chatting online with strangers seeing as you have had negative experiences. I don't blame you! I've tried to stay away from chat rooms myself since it usually ends up being a waste of time. I do chat online with my fiance fairly often, though. I guess that's a good way to play it safe. Most instant messaging programs allow you to block users who you'd rather not talk to. I've done that a couple times myself! I wouldn't do that normally, but there was this guy who I was just talking to for fun. He knew I was dating someone else at the time, but he was really pushy and rude to me because he wanted to meet me and all this stuff. He got really upset when I was just being friendly and sarcastic. He made a comment to me that was uncalled for and I blocked him ever since. I think he deserved it! (LOL) I'm not one to do that really because I believe everyone is a potential friend of mine! I always give people a chance, of course. He was just plain rude, so I didn't feel like putting up with his horrible attitude. You know how that goes. (LOL) I love your response. Thanks for being so specific. It was enjoyable to read, as always!
@myworkid1987 (755)
• United States
2 Feb 08
I like to chat with people I know already. Most of the time when you go into a chat room they are all perverts that wanna talk to you and ask you what you look like. I hate when they do that and i usually just ignore them then. If I do find someone new to talk to I wouldnt mind seeing a picture of them but If I dont then I could really care less. As the marriage companion through chatting online, I have met people from online and had dated a few of them and it never worked out. I think it works for some people and some people it dont.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I couldn't have said it better myself! I agree with you. Most of the time (not to stereotype or anything), it's true that there are mostly perverts in the chat rooms. They're just trying to get a phone number out of the whole deal because they're bored. When I was younger (and bored enough), I'd go into chat rooms where the participants were so incredibly rude to everyone. It was such a mess. You're right about finding a partner for marriage in a chat room. It all depends on the people involved and the situation. My aunt married a guy she met in the chat rooms. It's her second husband...if only they'd met the first time around! (LOL) Of course, I realize that it doesn't turn out that way for everyone. Thanks for your input on this subject. I couldn't agree with you more!
@jerritts1mom (816)
• United States
31 Jan 08
I just enjoy chatting in general, I am a people person, on and off line.I love to learn about people...and I think everyone has a story.I rarely give out my personal e-mail addy though,just because I am curious, doesn't make me stupid,lol...
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
31 Jan 08
I agree with you, curiousity and stupidity are two totally different ball games! You sound very open to communication online, but I also believe that an e-mail address should be kept private if you don't want certain people contacting you, which would include spam and such. I'm glad to hear you enjoy online chatting. I love how you saw "everyone has a story." That tells a lot of positive things about you. It's been so much fun getting to know you also! Keep up the good work, my friend.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
7 Mar 08
I find it remarkable chatting with people here on myLot. You never know what is going to be said, or what advice is going to be given. I have made numerous friends here that actually understand me, haha, and that's intriguing to me. To have so much in common, be completely different in age, have different lifestyles, but yet we're so similiar....I love it. I really get a kick out of making someone laugh though...I'm a bad comedian because I laugh at my own jokes, haha. I like mystery, makes me wanna go hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, lol! You probably could find a marriage companion online BUT, so many people might lie about who they are and what they are all about, I couldn't do it. Hard enough figuring that out when they're right in front of you. I like talking with you JJ, and you do make me laugh with your answers, that's why I'm here.....you're fun to talk with.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
14 Mar 08
How sweet of you, Kash! Thanks a bunch for your response. It's a blast here on myLot. If we weren't so busy responding to each other's discussions (LOL), I'd say they should add a chatting application so friends like us can get to know each other chatting online in real time. Of course, you and I are close in location so the time would be similar. However, people who have friends from other countries (I have several of those also) would have a harder time being online at the same time to chat. I agree with you that although a person has to be careful, he or she can most definitely find a marriage partner online. My aunt did just that about five years ago. Her husband, now my uncle, is such a sweet guy. I only wish they'd met 30 years ago so he wouldn't be her second husband! (LOL) Thanks for your awesome response. It was so much fun to read, as always. :)
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
1 Feb 08
no I don’t like online chatting. I have tried it a few times (when it seemed that everybody except me was doing it). I found it most inane, infuriating, irrational and abusive indulgence, if ever there was. People are just coming in and going out, calling each other names, laughing for no apparent reason, pulling each others’ legs, probing into each others secrets unnecessarily, insulting others not present and well it seemed like a total mad-house to me. I hated it.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I understand exactly where you're coming from! You obviously attempted to participate in a regular chat room rather than just a private message where only two people chat between each other. I don't like chat rooms all that much either. I think it's just a whole bunch of immature people who already know each other and get into a chat room to stir up confusion and call each other names. I completely agree with you. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with online chatting, but many times that's the way it really is! It's rude and immature like you said. People jump in chat rooms because they're bored and then proceed to start insulting everyone in the chat room. I think that's the wrong use for something like that, but people will do whatever they want. Thanks for your honest response!
@lkbooi (16070)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 08
I don’t like to chat with some ones whom are complete strangers to me. I do not like to talk about personal matters to persons I don’t really know. It is difficult for me to trust a stranger nowadays even though the photo he sends might not be his own photo. Moreover we could not judge a person from his well presented photo. Anyhow there is a possibility of finding a good marriage companion through chatting online but I believe there are very few successful cases in this complicated world.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
10 Mar 08
You're so right. It is a complicated world and you can't trust a person just because he or she sends a nice photo that's supposedly a picture of himself or herself. That's where people get themselves in trouble so many times! My aunt actually married a man she met online, but she had to be really careful in giving out her information. I'm really glad they met and don't know what I'd do without my uncle, but you're right. When people meet online for a future relationship, it's against all odd that things would work out since there are so many dishonest people out there. Thanks for your great response.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
10 Mar 08
I agree with you completely. Although there are some dangers to online chatting like giving away too much information, the mysteriousness of not knowing who you're talking to is very exciting. Of course, when people don't go about it in the right way, they can end up giving away too much information about themselves and getting into trouble with others having their information and doing who knows what with it. No one is completely honest, but I'm all for getting online and chatting with someone I don't know if I'm bored and have the time to spare. Thanks!
@shinjiao (1457)
• China
1 Feb 08
Hi,JJ4Ever!
I like chatting online just with my friends I have known in my real life.I don't think I can find proper topics to communicate with strangers(people I don't know and never have met in my real life) online.Friends around me agree with my opinion because they think chatting online with strangers are boring.The other side can be anyone or anything :p My friends,as well as I don't want to talk with strangers.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I agree with you that chatting with strangers can be really boring. I guess for me it all depends on the conversation itself. I've chatted with people who were really interesting. Other conversations have been nothing but that other person bragging. That gets old really fast. I'm glad you have real-life friends you enjoy chatting with online. I like chatting with people I know the most of any other form of communication because I don't have to be on the phone the whole time and I can do other things while I'm online. Thanks!
@youless (112561)
• Guangzhou, China
1 Feb 08
I don't like chatting with people who I don't know. I feel it's very annoying to be bothered by strangers as they are usually not so friendly. I ever left words in my profile in some of the chatting softwares: Please don't bother me if you are not my friends.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
10 Mar 08
Great idea. Just filter out people you don't know and hopefully they won't bother you. It's like, if you don't give out your information, people you don't know will stay away. It's the truth. I like what you said, "I feel it's very annoying to be bothered by strangers as they are usually not so friendly." You're exactly right. Some people are just online to chat and get rid of their boredom. They don't really care what you have to say sometimes and just want to burn some extra time. It does get annoying with so many people you don't know sending you messages! I know what you mean, and I'm glad you found a solution to keep those kinds of people away. Have fun chatting with your friends!
@shiloh_222 (5479)
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
hi i rather chat with people i know. i am very hesitant in doing so with strangers. i used my nickname for my username, usually.
1 person likes this
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
1 Feb 08
honestly i prefer both, sometimes online friends are good to chat with... i have few online friends,,,whome we shared wonderful things ..yes id like to know whoever she/he is..i dont mined seeing their picture..about marriage i think it depends...on the situation..goodluck
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
I'm the same way as you. If you talk to people you know online, you automatically have things to talk about and catch up on. If you talk to people you don't know, you have things to talk about, too, because you can get to know them. It's all about what each person prefers. I agree with you about wanting to know who someone really was after talking to them online for a while. I'd want to know what they looked like right away too! I'd be too curious. I'd be really careful, though. I believe marriage depends on the situation too. My aunt married a man she met online and it ended up working out perfectly. They were both completely honest and up front with each other, but in some cases it wouldn't work out. It totally depends on the people involved. Thanks for your response!
@gamingmaster (427)
• United States
1 Feb 08
I love chatting online with anyone. I have met alot of people online before and I chat to them through MSN Messenger still today! I also have my friends from school and neighbourhood on MSN to.
I dont really care how we chat I am very open, I did meet this one person online that was being so secure she didnt tell me her name, where she came from or enything. But I didnt mind we chatted and are friend for about 2 years now and i finally know her name and everything. I guess one cant be too careful who one is talking to online.
I dont think that a marriage can be found online though, its just not for me!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
13 Mar 08
Thanks for sharing the story about the girl you met online who was really secure at first, but then you became good friends online and she told you her name. That's a neat story because a few years ago I probably would've been the same way. Now that I'm older and more experienced with how things go online, I know what information can be shared and what probably shouldn't. There are so many scary people out there! She was just trying to protect herself, I'm sure. Once she found out you were a good friend, she told you who she was. Finding someone to marry from chatting online is only for certain people. I agree with you. My aunt found her second husband online and he's a sweet person. Some people aren't so lucky. I'm like you. I don't think I could find someone I'd want to marry in a chat room. That'd be just too strange for me! It might become more and more common nowadays, though, since the Internet is so much more popular! Thanks for your response. Sounds like you enjoy being online!
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
10 Mar 08
Wow, that's really smart of you to use your chatroom as a study guide! That's a really great idea. My younger sister wants to get an e-mail address so she can download the messenger and chat with her friends about upcoming tests and assignments. I think it's a great tool for kids to keep in touch with their friends and even to study! Great idea and thanks for sharing.
@nyumix (1658)
• Belgium
1 Feb 08
Online chatting is always interesting for me. With the one that I know or with someone new is fine for me. But it was long time ago since I did chatting online. And I do believe that we can find love or a marriage through chatting online. It happened to some friends, and they have happy marriage. :)
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
8 Mar 08
I agree with you. Chatting is fun no matter who you're talking to. It can sometimes be even more fun when chatting with someone you don't know since it's fun to get to know them. It's also a great way to keep in touch with people you do know. I believe that you can meet a life partner also. My aunt found her second husband online. If only they'd met 20 years earlier! (LOL) It's a long story, but I know it works. It's like you said, you and I both know people who have married people they met online. I think that's going to become a more common thing nowadays. Thank you for your response!
@n3op66 (45)
• Cyprus
31 Jan 08
personally i like both: chatting with friendsa and strangers.
using MSN Messenger, i talk with friends, but i like also looking either from IRC or networking sites (facebook, hi5) to talk with strangers, flirt, compliment, joke etc. We live in 21st century and as internet is a routine for our lives, and talking with strangers is not a bad thing. So personally, meeting and talking with strangers, keeps me feel sociable, even through a screen and not face to face.
In Fact, i made in the past friends which i mnet online and today are very good friends of me!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
7 Mar 08
I'm the same exact way as you! That's the fun in chatting online, chatting with people you don't know! I actually have several good friends that I met online (mostly here on myLot). They are people who I've never seen before in real life, but people I've grown to love and enjoy getting to know. That's the best part about the Internet. There's always someone new and exciting to meet. The Internet really has opened a huge window for us, hasn't it? I absolutely love modern technology. I'm so happy that you and I are agreed on this...I also think I might've made another wonderful friend! (LOL) Keep up the good work. :)
@huppsterdave5125 (279)
• United States
31 Jan 08
Other than this site, I don't do a whole lot of online chatting. I'm more of a inperson kind of guy. As far as screenames are concerned, you can probalby figure out what my actual name is if you look at my screename.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
31 Jan 08
A pleasure to meet you, Dave! (LOL) I'm glad you prefer to talk in person because that to me is a lot more genuine and trustworthy as far as methods of communication go. I like talking in person also because I can see the other person's reactions to what I'm saying through their facial expressions. Thanks for your input!
@marylyn_1 (2)
• United States
1 Feb 08
i prefer chatting online with some that i don't know like you said chatting with someone you know already itsn't all that great because you could see them the next day but with someone you met online is so much more fun because you know nothing about this person and getting to know is the part
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