Once in a Lifetime.. do you have one?
By misheleen73
@misheleen73 (6037)
United States
February 2, 2008 9:53am CST
To make this a discussion, after you read my story, please share your story. Do you have a "once in a lifetime" in your life??This is dedicated to my hubby. Our 12 year anniversary is coming up on February 14th. Let me start at the beginning....
I met my husband 12 years ago while dating someone else...when we saw each other, we immediately felt an attraction. I didn't see him again for over a year. By then, I was no longer dating the other guy. My hubby went through a lot to get me to date him, I repeatidly said no. Until one night I broke down and poured my heart out to him. I told him how I was tired of games, tired of being hurt, and just not ready to date anyone. He swears at that moment, he knew he had to win me over, and protect me forever. (that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard) LOL
Well, he did win me over. We dated a while and then one day I entered a radio contest. It was a contest for people to write in their love stories, how they met, etc. The grand prize for 10 lucky couples was an all expense paid wedding and honeymoon in Cancun, Mexico. Well, I won. I went home that evening and asked my hubby to marry me. Unconventional, I know, but we had talked about marriage before hand. We were married at a radio station in Miami, FL on February 14th, 1996. Cheesy date, but hey, it was free!! We also had a spot on the evening news!!
Throughout out marriage, I had 3 miscarriages. I thought I would never have children. It was the hardest thing in my life. I have always wanted to be a mother, and the thought of not having kids was unbearable. My husband was a rock. He has always been there for me, supporting me, loving me. We did have 2 beautiful boys and now have a wonderful family. Our life has been anything but easy. Only recently are we financially doing well. My husband has held 3 jobs at one time just trying to make ends meet. He is my rock.
I say he is my hero, so let me tell you why. My husband is Cuban. Born and raised in Cuba for 19 years. When he was 19, he got into a raft, and was in the middle of the ocean for 7 days. He came to the United States alone. He came to help his family survive. In the process, he has become a wonderful husband, a loving father and the best friend I could ever ask for. He learned english on his own within a year, and became a United States citizen.
My husband is the most selfless person I know. He helps friends and family with absolutely no regard to himself nor thought of repayment. He is not perfect, but really, who is. He is my perfect soul mate and without him I would be lost. I come from a very bad family and have a lot of issues. My self esteem is practically non existant. My depression can be awful. He has always been there for me, lifting me up, making me feel beautiful. There is no one in the world that can make me feel the way he does.
I thank God every day for giving me such a wonderful man in my life. As I said before, he may not be perfect, but he's perfect for me. I love him with all my heart and can only hope that we can have many, many more anniversaries. This year marks year 12 for us. While we have had our fair share of problems, arguments and times of doubt, we have stuck it out for the long haul. When most other people would throw in the towel, we worked harder to make it work. And every day that passes, I am thankful that we did.
I wish everyone could meet someone like him, and live happily ever after. He is my best friend, my rock, my hero.. he is my husband and I take pride in being able to say that.
here is a poem I wrote for him a few years ago.. feel free to comment:Once In A Lifetime
This poem is dedicated to my Angel
Once in a lifetime,
You find that special someone.
That fills the empty space,
Like no one else has ever done.
Someone that makes you smile,
Through the darkest hour.
Someone who can take the worst,
And turn it into a flower.
Someone to hold your hand,
And guide you through the maze.
Someone to open your eyes,
And lift you out of the haze.
Someone to confide in,
In the middle of the night.
Someone to share your dreams,
As they take flight.
When you find your special someone,
Hold on tight and never let go.
And as soon as your eyes meet,
Your heart will let you know.
Michele Renee Alfonso
Copyright ©2008
4 people like this
6 responses
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
4 Feb 08
Well, your story of love is simply beautiful and My wedding anniversary is February 15th and we are going to be celebrating 22 years of marriage with my family. My husband is also a wonderful guy and we need to thank God everyday because we are both very lucky. Is nice that you mentioned that he was cuban because people can see that most cubans have a big heart.
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
4 Feb 08
well Happy Anniversary to you too !! We are both extremely lucky women !!
1 person likes this
@akacipher (64)
• India
4 Feb 08
There is really no story that i have as of now.........
have never had an anivesarry! was in love once.... was close to completeing an year to when just 15 days before it my gf ditched me for someone else and for no fault of mine.
Its ok, makes me feel good when i hear you have such a beautiful life with him!! I wish you have him with you all your life and always by your side. again Happy Anniversary.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
4 Feb 08
better you found out what type of person she was then instead of later.. thanks for your well wishes !!
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
3 Feb 08
My dear friend, so nice to see you here:)
It is a beautiful story and one that warms the heart.
My story... well, I was in Portugal when I met hubby.
We were both studying when we started dating and things were not exactly too serious with us. We were really busy with our studies.
We dated for almost three years until we had our first hurdle. Hubby's daddy had been here in Canada with his sister before and wanted to come back this time taking the rest of the family with him.
We weren't really sure of how to deal with this curve ball because we had never thought about the future. In the end we decided to kind of leave things open. Keep in touch but also free to date someone else if we wanted to. No big promises to keep, no big promises to break.
It was a bit complicated having a relationship so distant even if we had not made any special promises.
I visited twice and every time I visited I felt that I really wanted to be with him, but I had been so many times away from home I was craving this time in Portugal close to the whole family and friends. Plus I wasn't too excited about coming here. Things were a bit different even Portuguese people here were different.
We ended up dating other people for a bit, both of us, but it didn't work out we kept thinking about each other.
He was telling me he wasn't all excited about living in here either so I was hoping that he would come back to Portugal. But he was really attached to his parents and that never happened.
Meanwhile back in Portugal I was really having trouble with decisions. Wanting to stay was a very strong feeling. WIth lost of pull: the family, friends, and even the job. I had a great job back home, I knew I would have to start from scratch in here. Plus the way I was seeing it was that if he moved back to Portugal his parents wouldn't be alone, they had his sister, while if I moved in here mine will be all alone.
My parents loved him dearly but weren't too keen on the separation either - they also saw other things that I didn't see like all parents, specially regarding his family, but like any young woman my response was " If I marry him , I will be marrying him, not his family " of course now I know better but hey I was young and naive LOL -.
WE actually went as far as deciding on a date for the wedding twice, and twice I backed out. Actually there was even a third time when he came to Portugal for us to get married, but still I couldn't decide leaving. So at that point we had no choice but to end everything so we could actually have a life since there was no middle ground anymore. HE wouldn't leave Canada and I wouldn't leave Portugal. We spent a last week down in the south of Portugal by the beach and talked for days but that was the only solution we found: breaking up.
It was a hard decision but I saw no way out at the time. I thought it was completely over but once he got back home in Canada he kept writing long letters making it sound so logic that we belonged together and all the ways that we still could be in touch with my family and friends....and maybe because things had been so final while he was there with me I kind of started thinking again.
Maybe it would work. I could always find some sort of a job, I"m not choosy if I can't be. The money thing would be a completely different thing and maybe we couldn't visit as often but my parents could visit us here, even some of the family and friends. Living with his family.. well we could always get an apartment once I had a job. In the end I gave up and since he didn't have any more vacation time to go to Portugal to get married ( this was merely a month after he left ) we ended up marrying by proxy.
I was in Portugal a couple more months while he took care of all papers needed for me to go and I came.
It was a bit complicated to adjust for various reasons living with his family, adjusting to a new culture and environment, missing my own family and friends and even my job, and last but not last the fact that while living with my parents I enjoyed the care free life of their own money. It wasn't my money, I was just adopted, and even though they wanted to give me a fair amount I was silly enough not to accept LOL I just brought what I had saved from my own job which I thought, and still think was fair.
It wasn't that bad. I actually had a job waiting for me as I got here, in a Portuguese community center as a language teacher. It was more or less a part time but quite ok.
Soon we were out in our own apartment and life seemed great.
We had a wonderful time for almost 10 years. WE wanted kids but due to my own personal history I was a bit worried about being a parent. I was scared that somehow it was hereditary and once I had a child I would suddenly feel the urge to give her away like my parents did. SO while I wanted to be a mother I also feared it. We were already married for almost 10 years when I decided that I would never know if I never tried.
Meanwhile at that time my inlaws - that weren't all that happy when we left to live in our apartment - had been trying to convince us to buy a house with them.I kept refusing until the time that they went to Portugal on vacation and complained to my parents that it was because of me that they didn't buy a house. That they wanted to do it to help us out and that it would be so much better for us.
My mom didn't fall for that, but my dad was always more .. soft... and he called me asking why I was being so stubborn. That I was always way too proud and that they only wanted to help us start our life. Being daddy's little girl I kind of caved in - making the worst mistake of my life LOL - buying a house with them. THey didn't really want to help us, basically they didn't have enough credit for the mortgage and they needed ours which was still good then.
We bought the house and I got pregnant more or less at the same time.
ANd then life threw us another curve. My husband was laid off the day after our daughter was born. They were going to do it on the same day but felt bad.
Now all our budget was prepared with both incomes as they were. Not without hubby's. He tried to find a job fast, but what he got didn't pay as much as the old one, so things got a bit more complicated.
We had savings but had to start using them to cover all the bills.
Still we were doing more or less ok. And the best thing of all was that I never felt like giving my daughter away so I learned I didn't have to be like my parents :):) That allowed me to dream of a bigger family and my son was born 3 years and 2 days after my daughter. Funny thing: Hubby was laid of the week after.
We decided maybe it was better to stop there if he was going to be laid off every time we had a child.
This time it hit us harder because things were already not at their best.
We had to get part time jobs and life was quite stressful not only because of the financial worries but because with all the part times we had opposite schedules and for a long time hardly had time to be together. When we were home at the same time we were trying to keep a balanced family life with the kids or we were just too exhausted to even take some time together.
But we sailed that one too, although things were quite complicated and almost cost us our marriage - something in laws were way too happy about.
A few things happened lately that complicated our financial life even more but we have been able to almost balance them , although it is getting harder.
WE;ve been having some rough storms, some personal, some only financial, but we're still here, so I guess we'll be able to sail trough whatever storms are still to come to us.
I"m not sure if my husband is still my hero - he did make some mistakes that were very costly to us , emotionally and financially - but he's still as close to a hero as any human can be and has proved to be a good team member and a person that can recognize his mistakes and face them.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Feb 08
nice to see you too my friend.. I have been M.I.A. a little.. yours is a beautiful story as well. I think that people need to hear real life, true love stories.. it's not always fairy tales and happy endings, but it is love none the less !!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
18 Feb 08
I really enjoyed this discussion about our stories. It gave me the opportunity of learning your story and the ones of other myLot members.
Yes.. life is not always a rose garden, but when we are able to sail over a few storms we also learn many things, and our feelings can get stronger.
1 person likes this
@squaretile (3778)
• Singapore
4 Feb 08
wow this is an amazing story. thanks for sharing so much. i think you are very brave to have survived 3 miscarriages and gone on to have two children. I'm sure you inspire a lot of hope amongst other women who are trying to have children and who have experienced miscarriages.
I'm sure your husband is grateful that you appreciate him so much. You must be very special to him for him to pursue you for so long.
all the best, may there be many many more happy years for the both of you.
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
4 Feb 08
thanks so much for your kindness.. I just really wanted people to hear a real story..
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
4 Feb 08
Just like you, I conisder my husband as one of my lifetime. We've been together and happily married for quite sometime now. And i must say, we are stronger than ever. And hope it will stay that way.
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
4 Feb 08
thanks for sharing.. I hope you have many more happy years together...
@bear_cute (124)
• Malaysia
3 Feb 08
Actually before I meet my hubby I have many friend.I only just friend but I didn't mean want more than friend because I only accept as a friend if he want still friend with me.I start as a friend from I form 4 until now.Actually he have feel with me but I don't like him.I not regret when I refuse go out with him.I don't like dating.I respect with him because he still want be a friend although he know I don't like with him.Sometimes I not understand what he believe.Maybe he believe my feel can change but he wrong I still with my decision.If I say no until die I say no.Maybe he not recognize about my prinsiple.Lastly I meet my hubby when I practical at Subordinate Court.I believe only one.My partner still have even I not accept him before this.After I finish my practical at Court,my hubby contact my handphone number.At the time I'm so happy like romeo and juliet.While I practical I not see my hubby interest with me.He not reveal the feel but I only heard from him colleague my hubby like me.I not believe what I heard until I accept call from him.He waiting until I finish my study.After I finish my study I engage with him.After 1 year I married with him.I'm very happy that time.I remain my friend.While I inform I want married with my hubby I cry because I so sad I can't accept him.Now I was married with my hubby.I happy just now.I'm waiting my delivery in month of Mei.
1 person likes this