it was my choice so why do i feel resentment???
@princessmom1011 (719)
United States
February 3, 2008 8:57pm CST
i chose to breastfeed my new baby and well ive noticed i feel a bit of resentment towards my husbands especially late at night when im up every 1 1/2-2 1/2 hrs breast feeding and hes right next to me sound asleep or during hte day when im trying to clean the house shower tend to the older children and i need to stop what im doing to feed the baby and hes going on with his daily acitivites. i didnt breastfeed my other two and we had a great system of taking turns and what not but obvisouly he cant feed her he lacks the main body part to do so , so why do i find myslef annoyed at times when it was my choice and out of his control???? has anyone else ever gone through this?? is it just new baby blues???
7 people like this
8 responses
@momsnagpad (7)
• United States
4 Feb 08
I think you're just very tired and agitated because you feel you're doing more work than he does. Why don't you express some of your milk into bottles so he can handle some of the early morning feedings? As for the chores, can you afford to hire someone to come in once a week and do the heavy stuff? Speaking as a neat freak with three kids, I know how hard it can be to deal with a new baby, a husband, two older children and then be cranky because the house is a mess. The first thing you need to do is talk to him and explain your feelings, because chances are he doesn't know why you're upset. If he doesn't know, how can he help correct the situation?
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I used to make my husband wake up and bring the baby to me. Every two hours he had to get up as I did. He didn't mind and I think it made him feel like he was helping me. Maybe you should try likewise. It seems that if your husband took turns you with you with the others, he might be looking for a way to participate. Try it. Let me know how it goes. Take care.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
4 Feb 08
Oh well, it’s the usual baby-blues. Most mothers suffer from this, at least I know that I suffered from similar syndromes when I felt that I was ‘stuck’ at home with a baby while everybody was ‘free’ to enjoy themselves or generally carry on with normal life. When I badly wanted some rest and was told bluntly that I can’t take rest since no one can ‘replace’ the mother for the baby. I hated it when I could not spend 2 to 3hrs outside home alone coz one never knew when the baby would need me.
But don’t worry, this will gradually go away. You will get used to neglecting yourself.
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
4 Feb 08
I felt the same way. So I bought a pump. I still did most of the feedings but he could do some. It gave me a rest and gave him the bonding time too. If I were you I would get a pump and let him do some of it. You don't have to do it all.
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
Can he get up and bring the baby to you? He should be helping out if you have a newborn.
@lightningd (1039)
• United States
4 Feb 08
Well, honnestly I think you have a right to be a bit resentfull if he's not helping you with other stuff around the house. I would be a bit concerned about the feeding that often in the night. My doctor was very concerned that my child wasn't sleeping at least 4-6 hours at nite when he was a week old. Maybe you should talk to your pediatrician about that. Cause you're not getting enough rest!!!!
@eden32 (3973)
• United States
4 Feb 08
I think it's perfectly normal & probably a little bit of new baby blues. Do you work outside the home? If you don't- let your schedule work around the baby's natural rhythm. If the baby is up most of the night, read a book while you nurse, or listen to your favorite music and sleep in during the day. Let those hours alone with your baby be special time for both of you. Good luck- you're doing a great thing for your baby, I hope you're able to make it work for you too.
@AICIRT81 (847)
• United States
4 Feb 08
I understand how you're feeling. It gets better once baby starts sleeping through the night and you can sleep as well. try to think of the day time feedings as a break and ask DH to help out with house hold chores. Once baby starts on solids he'll be able to feed the baby too. Hang in there mommy.
