How Easily Do You Reach Out For Help?

Wolfie, there are times that I ask for help and times that I absolutely refuse to ask. It totally depends on what the situation is. But I try not to be stubborn, really I do. Sometimes, though, it just comes naturally! But you know, letting someone help you is something of a gift to them. I'll try to explain that. You know when someone you love, like your bf or husband or wife or a good friend needs help and wont' let you help, how much it drives you crazy? They'll say, no I can do it, or that's ok, I'll get it, or whatever. That can drive me nuts. I want to help, need to help, and know they need the help and they won't let me. Aaarrgh! Very frustrating! So, I think that it's best to go ahead and accept help that's offered, if not for yourself, then for the person who wants to give that help. Like a little kid, they always want to help with anything, and get upset if they're not allowed. Ya know? Make sense?

Oh Honey I used to be so dratted stubborn and independant it defies belief! After a lot of problems (you know a lot of them don't you darling) I have learnt the hard way! When you are at your lowest and people reach out to you and keep your head above water you realise that they really do want to help and that if you had asked earlier you probably wouldn't have sunk so low in the first place. Now if I need help and someone can help me I bellow! xxxx

I try to be independent and make it on my own, I hate borrowing because you just have to pay it back with means it takes away from the next week or month. My mom said I was her only independent child and that because of that she is more willing to help me out since I am not always standing above her with my hand out like some of the others. When I am out of something I am out I don't like borrowing. I do help others all the time I am the one all of the others are always borrowing off of with food and money. But yet me and my husband always makes the least money in both sides of the family mine and his. I try not to waste anything because to waste it is to need it and not have it when it is needed. Am I afraid of rejection? Who isn't at one point of their life or another? Am I weak? Just depends on how I feel, I can roar with the best when I am fine or meow like a kitten when down and out. Do I cute my nose off in spite of my face? probably have a few times, I can be stubborn when it is needed. I don't let others rollcoaster over me often, but it does and has happened, take today for example, my phone/cable bill hadn't been paid in 2 months because hubby hasn't been working alot and we only had enough for electric and things needed. My mom found out it was going to get turned off today and her and my brother paid $115.56 to keep it on even after I repeatedly told them not to and told them I would just get it on again when I got some money, they wouldn't listen(Now you know where I get my occasional stubborness from) But I hate owing them, make me feel as though they can now say Now you have to do this or that. I never took into consideration that I bought my mom $55.00 worth the groceries when she didn't have nothing in the house to eat. And that she loved me and wanted to do this for me. I am always helping them out but hate taking anything back in return. I felt so bad I went and cleaned my moms house for her and believe me that was a task in itself especially since she had recently moved and had boxes upended because she couldn't find nothing and then left it that way because she didn't have time to clean it..I like feeling independent. I hate feeling like I owe someone and hate pity. I don't reach out for help very often it is rare. I try not to be a "USER" that is what my mom labeled some in my family and I don't ever want to be labeled that and borrowing things just seem to put to much pressure on a person to pay it back and pay it back soon. I rather go without feeling like a fish out of water.

Sweetie I rather struggle before I ask for help I always have because when I was younger and used to ask for help well it was never given so I learned to do things myself no matter how much I struggle And in a sense it is a good thing as in my Marriage I did most things myself including bringing up the Kids So I would say I am very independent

Hey my wolf friend! I hate asking for help. I will always do things on my own or try and figure a different approach to what ever Im doing. If I know Im going to need help then yes I will ask.LOL

I actually think asking for help shows you are human if someone offers me help i accept with arms wide open! I wouldn't ever say it was weak because everyone needs help sometimes and no i'm not lazy but sometimes i just can't be everything to everyone and i need that shoulder to cry on.

Oh Wolfie... there was a time when Kim was a very stubborn girl. Like so many other people, in her youth, she knew positively everything and would never have dreamed of asking for help. If she needed something done that she hadn't time to do herself, she paid someone to do it rather than simply asking for their help, even her own Mother. I had forgotten so many of the things that I had done in my youth. I recently found an old diary and was appalled by the way my mind had worked. I can't say that I ever asked for anyone's help when I was younger. I worked myself into the hospital, making myself sick for lack of rest. I had 3 jobs at once and worked all of them as much as I could. I never saved, but spent everything. What I wouldn't give to have the energy of my youth. I often think that perhaps we're alloted a certain amount in our lifetime and I may have used mine up and am left with low reserves as I grow older. I know now that I can't do everything. I can't pay for everything and I can't go through life without a helping hand from time to time. Help and aid are things that we should have a working knowledge of throughout our lives, not only when it comes to receiving it, but in giving it as well. Having a partner in life was a strange thing to get used to in that regard, too. I have been unemployed for a while and have had a very hard time finding work. Knowing that I can turn to him when I need help covering a bill or for anything is a great relief, but that doesn't mean it's something that I do often. It wasn't an easy thing to do and I do still have trouble with it sometimes. I tend to let things build up and hope that I can manage sometimes when I know that I can't and will wait until the last minute to ask anyone for help. Oddly enough, I don't have a problem offering it to someone when I feel like they need it though. Maybe one day I'll learn to be a little easier on both sides of assistance.

I've been in a couple of situations where I was in danger. People who had said..."if ever you need anything, you know where we are" have seen me coming and shut the door in my face. Several times I've been in trouble and I've been ostracised and pushed away by my own family. Other times I've expected them to help me and they turn their backs on me and ignore me. I have been lucky a couple of times to find good people to help me out, like the 3 people that helped me get away from my violent husband. One found me a flat and the other two helped move my furniture. More recently an almost total stranger helped me when I asked and treated me nicer and better than my own family. I try not to ask for help because I'm afraid of rejection...I actually expect to be rejected. I'm sometimes too proud and sometimes I simply don't know where to turn so I manage on my own mostly, I'm still good friends with the person who helped me that I mentioned earlier. He is my best friend and I know he will help me whenever he can but I don't like to impose too much. I live alone, I have no real friends, other than the person I mentioned, no-one visits, people rarely phone me. The other side of that is that sometimes people ask me for help and I'm happy to do what I can. I go out of my way to help people sometimes and I find it strange that it means very little to people when I help them.

Excellent discussion Wolfie. I had to think about this one for a while, and after thinking I would have to say I am very independent,but if in dire straights I will ask for help, I will give you and example I must take medication in order to keep my sanity. these medications are very expensive, mostly I get samples from my doctor, but some times they are not available, so I go to my children and ask for help because they have seen and understand that with out the medications I will be in serious trouble and unable to live on my own, Some thing the government does not even consider when they refuse to assist me with the cost of said medications. So yes I am an independent and loving it type lady but I also know that I do some times need and am grateful for help.

Hi wolfie, I will not ask for help because I do not want to be rejected or told no, so to avoid this completely I refuse to ask for help even if it means doing without something important and suffering along the way. I feel that if I never ask I can never be told no. I do remember my mother always telling me since I was a little boy never to borrow from people especially money, if your in need you do without until you can get it yourself. I just can't seem to break away from this.

I really don't like to ask for help, but I do it when I have to. I am a very independent person and I get really irritated. Then again, I am too soft on the people who owe me. I wished that everyone could just stand up and do their part!

My biggest strength is also my biggest weakness. I NEVER ask for help. I always feel that I need to tackle all of my problems by myself. It's just my personality. My ex-girlfriend used to always try to help me with thing and I always said no. Somehow I felt that if I needed her help then I was less of a man than I was. Usually I was able to fix everything, but sometimes things would get really complicated and I wished that I was more open to receiving help. This isn't something I can easily change though because it is already ingrained into my personality.

I am the kind of person, that if I need help I ask for it. I don't like to struggle if I don't have to. But this doesn't happen very often, that I need help from anyone. The only people I depend on to help me, if they can, is my immediate family. My mom has helped me a lot and so have my brothers and sisters. I have never asked my children for help but I am sure if I did, they would help me. Most of the time I need help it is a financial problem so that is why I don't ask my kids. My hubby never asks anyone for help, except me. I get mad sometimes about this because he is always the first one there to help others. That is why we are broke a lot of times. He'll give his last hundred dollars to help someone and then we are the ones who need help because we end up broke a few days before payday. I get really mad about this but it doesn't help anything. He just does it again and again and again.

It depends on the situation. I'm very independant. I'm the type that it will get done faster if I just do it myself. Its hard to ask for help cause I do think it shows weakness. But in actuallity everyone needs help. I know I need help to an extent but I am stubborn and don't always ask. I'm a manager at a bar and i'm suppose to delagate jobs, again my stubborness overwhelmes me sometimes and I get to the point where i'm just like "move i'll do it myself." Now that I think about it maybe being independant is somewhat a weakness as well.

I am a very independent person and rarely wants to seek help because I am not that satisfied with the quality of help I get here.I still think that I am the best and can handle things fine my way.And Wolfie I am a great helper to others all my life.I have never said no to anyone who seeks for a help that I can provide.

I hate asking for help, so a lot of the times, I will not ask for help. I will suffer in silence.

I don't like asking for help. In my eyes, because I was taught that way really, that asking for help kind of means it's some sort of weakness. Either I was raised that way, or I some how ingrained that in myself. So, for whatever reason, I don't ask for help unless I know I need it and I can't do anything any other way.

I am still very stubborn and do not reach out for help very easily, but I have at times.

I'm afraid I am the classic example, wolfie, of a person who will do anything to avoid asking anyone for help. In many cases it has cost me. My main reason for the way that I am is due to not wanting to impose on anyone. I would much rather someone offer to help me if they know I have a need than for me to have to come out and ask them. If I know that a family member or friend has a need I never hesitate to offer my help. I think that's the way it should be.

I think I am a very independant person. Before I met my husband I had to do everything for myself, and had no-one to ask for help when I did need it. I also still help others who need it. They dont have to ask. Its not that I was too stubborn or too proud, I just like doing things for myself. When I do things for myself I appreciate the work that is done more, especially when it comes out right... :-)