I Love YOU and YOU and yes YOU too
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
United States
February 5, 2008 11:44am CST
No, I'm not a hippie. But I was thinking this morning (no, nothing caught on fire and no, smoke wasn't coming out of my ears) about how you express the way you feel about the people in your life.
How do you show someone the way you feel about them? Do you do it by your actions, or is it all in the words you say? And I'm not just talking about relationships with your significant others, but all the relationships you have.
What makes the people in your life know how you feel?
I have never been big on the phrase "I Love you" It is too easy to say. It is sometimes too difficult to show. And it is damn near impossible to explain why. (That doesn't stop me from asking though)
I know my honey loves me. He tells me yes, but he shows me too. It is in the little things he does like, calling on his way home every day to see if I need anything. It is in the way he will come home with dinner or cook it himself when he sees I'm having a bad day. It is in the way he absentmindedly traces circles up my arm when he is holding my hand. It is always in the little things for me.
But my friends are a different story. I do things for my friends because of how I feel about them. I go out of my way for some of them because they mean so much to me. I have never come out and verbally told any of my friends that I love them though. And they have never said it to me but I know and I hope they know just how deep my feelings for them goes.
Just recently two of you lovelies on here told me you loved me and that is what prompted this train of thought. Even if you were just being cute, or saying it to get a smile out of me, or if you do truly hold such feelings about me (someone who you will probably never meet) what brings you to write it or say it or whatever to someone that is not a part of your every day real life?
I can say I love a number of you. You make me laugh. You pick me up when I am having a bad day. You give me the ability to rant and vent and don't judge me by what I say or the way I say it. I appreciate some of you so much that I could truly meet you tomorrow for the first time and feel like I have known you my whole life.
But what about you? What makes you develop feelings for the people in your every day life and the people you meet here on the internet? How do you express how you feel about them? Do you think the phrase, I love you is often said a lot more than it is meant?
Just curious.
5 people like this
8 responses
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I do tell my friends that I love them and I go out of my way for them as well. I'm loyal and trustworthy and in return I get the same. This is why in real life I only have about 3 close friends but many people that I like and hang out with.
On the internet- well really just here on mylot- there are about 5 or 6 people that I truly love. I don't just go around saying it. Take you for example- we are really similiar and in reality would be really fun just to hang out, talk mom stuff, go shopping whatever. I like the way you think- biased maybe because you think like me on most things though not all which is great. People who are similar to myself I really value their opinions and advice because it's easier to relate. So that explains you..:)
Other people on here, from their discussions, I get good vibes, can also relate to, and great laughs no matter what the topic is. The people they are really do come through and I place high value and meaning to words and when a typed phrase could jump out of your computer and slap you in the face- it's extraordinary to me. Emotion is hard to get across in typed words at times. The people I choose to love on here are ones that come through. You can't bull s*it a bull sh*itter in a sense and I really feel that what comes out is true personality. After all we may not ever meet each other which actually helps a person to be more free in that. Face to face chatting is pretty hard at times. I really feel the honesty and the goodness of these people. You guys all know who you are too. Now let's get on that bus and plow through to my house that is sitting under a few feet of snow and still going...:(
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
6 Feb 08
By the way- I just wanted to add that I do tell people what I think about them all the time..
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I tell people what I think of them all the time too but never if it's sappy. Isn't that weird. I could tell you that if your mom had change for a $10 you would have been swallowed or the best part of you was left on the bed spread if I don't like you but if you are close to my heart I expect you to just know it without me having to say anything.
I love you too sweetie. Even if I do picture you as Paris Hilton. lol
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 Feb 08
Frankly, I feel silly when I say 'I love you'. Mostly because I don't think what I really feel doesn't come through with such a light phrase. I'd rather show my love through actions or better still verbalise how I feel without just a plain 'I love you'. I feel it's too flimsy to mean what it really does...atleast for me that's how it is.
My husband doesn't say it to me...but his actions show me how much he cares and the only time I can hear the phrase without taking it too lightly is when my son says it. I can actually feel the emotion when he says it...and he's pretty loud about it too...lol
But as adults, I prefer actions and I know friends who I've never said it to nor have they said it to me....but we know how much we mean to each other.
And like you said, on myLot our defences are down and we tend to bond more quickly than we would if we met in real and there are certain people here who I feel I've known for ages....and funny part is that we've never even communicated in any other way besides myLot discussions.
To my friends in real life, taking the time to pick out a gift for them and think about what they would like, is something special and that's one of the ways that I show that I love them....there are so many other little things that I do for them (which they know) and similarly they do stuff for me without me having to ask...all that means much more to me than the phrase 'I love you'.
lol...is the round the corner 'Valentine's Day' the inspiration for this discussion?
1 person likes this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Actually I hate Valentines Day. It is over commercialized and has almost gotten as bad as Christmas with all the merchandising. This discussion was prompted because two of my friends on here in one discussion of mine said it. One asked if I would still love her in the morning after I read her comment, and the other told me she loved me. It got me to thinking about my friends in real life and if they knew how dear they were to me or if something was lacking because I never verbalized it for them.
My kids are like yours, screaming from the mountain tops how much they love and I giggle, rustle their hair, kiss their noses and say it back and I can see it in their eyes. The purest most innocent kind of love there will ever be is the love of a child for it's mother. It will always pick me up no matter how bad my mood is.
1 person likes this
@joyce959 (1559)
• Philippines
5 Feb 08
Yes, sometimes I think some people just say 'i love u' often but don't mean it.
I am not an outspoken person when in terms of endearment. I very rarely say in person the words 'I love u'. But I love my family. I just show my family how I love them by taking care of their needs, by understanding them, consoling them, being with them in bad times or good times. It is in writing that I usually tell the words 'i love u' , very seldom in words but I do it in action.
When it comes to friends, I also dont tell I love them in words, but I care for them and understand them. I am ready to help them when they need my advice or support.
I guess it is more important to show your feelings of love in action rather than in just words.
1 person likes this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Exactly! Anyone can say anything. But if you know how someone feels simply by their actions then the words don't need to be said nearly as much. Thanks for the comment.
2 people like this
@illustria (45)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I've always been the verbal type, telling my boyfriend that I love him - and then crying if he didn't reply back. However, I live on theother side of the planet: he always stays up so that he and I can chat; he delays lunch or dinner so that he can talk to me; and he finds ways to help me out so that I don't feel alone or helpless. In that way, he's beat me to expressing love: it's what you do, not just what you say.
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Here's an idea. Ask your boyfriend what things you do that show him how much you love him. You might be surprised that you do more than you think.
3 people like this
@jtownesquire (104)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I love the fact that everyone THINKS they show how much they love the people in their lives. Did you notice the pattern? Even the people who say they don't say "I love you" a lot, said that they show it. Do they really? Or do they just think they do? The only way to know if you do show it (and show it properly) is to ask the people in your life if they know it.
I agree that the best way to show it is in the little things. How can anyone dispute the love of a child when that child is concerned because you missed dinner? Really?!
I can only hope that I show the people in my life how much I love them. Although there are times when certain of those people drive me up a wall! I know I love them because no matter how often that happens, I just gas up and get ready for another trip.
1 person likes this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
14 Feb 08
Kids are the best at showing you they love you. A kiss for no reason. Asking you to play games with them when they would rather beat up anyone else who wants to go near them. Concern because you came home late and missed dinner (too cute)
I think the kids got it right and we all need to take a lesson from them.
@SukiSmiles (1991)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Saying I love you was never easy for me. We didn't say it in our house. So, for me saying it is a big thing. I have my husband and kids to thank for that. But it's in our actions too. My husband will make me dinner, and do things for me, not because he has to, but because he wants to. It's a way to show me how much he loves me. He actually does quite a bit. I try to always listen to my friends and do special things for them. Help them out when they need it. I don't tell my friends I love them either, that seems too wierd for me. I just show by my actions. I also try to make them special things for their birthdays - like a quote book or piece of jewelry. I listen to them on the phone when they need someone to talk/rant to - even if I've heard the story before (sometimes many times before). I have one friend who loves sappy cards (I don't) and will go out of my way to get them for her for her birthday. She knows that I spent time my time for her, looking for something I know she would like.
1 person likes this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I love you wasn't hardly ever said in my house growing up I think that is why I expect actions to justify the saying when someone says it to me.
I drive my sweetie crazy because he will tell me he loves me and instead of saying it back I ask him why. He just shakes his head, kisses me, and says that he will tell me why he loves me when I can tell him how water tastes.
2 people like this
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I love you and you and loungey and nova and natrak and goodie and seagoddess and skinny and sissygrl and the list goes on. The friendships that I have made here are precious to me and I love them and in turn I love these people. I love them more as I get to speak with them and learn about there personalities. I show my support and love by responding and being an ear for when they need it and by standing up for what is right we need be also. I love the group of friend that we have built, we all have our strengths and weaknesses in this group. But we all respect and care for eachother. Which is a sign of our love for our friendships.
Now off site in person I say both because not only do I show it in the actions or things I do but because I also feel that sometime you need to verbalize it and Ihope that my friends and family that see me off site realize that I don't just say it I show it in my actions.
Now what make me develop feelings is how people treat and interact with eachother and me. I think I need no explanation on how I show you guys love see above comments.LOL!!
I do think some people use the words I love you to a detriment ..
@bellaofchaos (11538)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I love you guys your the greatest. LOL!!! Hope on the bus to Utah!!! here we go.
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
5 Feb 08
Very well put. Very very well put! I love you too Bella. And why is that as soon as I wrote that did I get a mental image of a bus on its way to Utah. Oh NO! LoL
2 people like this
