Sorry I stepped on your toe. No, I'm sorry I ran over your dog-Feel better yet?
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
United States
February 5, 2008 12:14pm CST
Next to "I love you", "I'm sorry" has got to be the most over used phrase in the english language.
I hear this a dozen times a day. Someone bumps into you on the elevator, they say they are sorry. Someone steps on your foot at work, they say they are sorry. Someone rips your beating heart out of your chest, fries it up and tries to feed it to you, and then says they are sorry. What a bunch of bull.
Honestly, do these words truly make anyone feel better? Do they make the pain of whatever happened hurt less? Do they encourage you to forgive easier?
Not me. I know, big surprise, right?
I know it is a programed response to many of us. I do it. I run into you by accident and my mouth opens and out the words come. I don't mean it though. It was an accident. Oops, my bad. It is not going to impact my day negatively because I elbowed you in a crowd.
But the big things, hurt feelings, broken hearts, things said and done in anger, at least for me cannot be fixed simply because the person who did these things now says they are sorry.
I'm glad they are sorry. They were sorry before they did them just not in that connotation of the word.
Telling me you are sorry isn't going to help me forgive you. So why do so many people say these words thinking they will make everything all better?
To me I compare this to kissing my kids knee when he falls down on the pavement. The kiss doesn't make it stop hurting. It is the application of the antibiotic and the band aid that makes it better. The kiss is just for show.
Your comments?
7 people like this
9 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I have been guilty of hurting someones feelings by words said in anger and i do know that "i'm sorry" doesnt take it back or fix anything but it is a start. It is much better than not acknowledging that you are wrong at all or ignoring the issue and assuming that it will just go away. I also try to talk about what caused the blowout and angry words which are usually thrown both ways. If someone is important to me, I do always appologize when I've done wrong by them and I do try to make things right. Likewise, when someone is sincerely sorry to me, I can usually tell and am very empathetic and accept their appology....it does mean something. I guess it depends on the situation. I know some people do just appologize and continue on doing the same old behaviors and that is probably what you are referring to.
2 people like this
@rosey3223 (1566)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I do use the phrase "I'm sorry", A LOT, and when I say it I mean it. I have been told I don't know how many times that I didn't need to, that the majority of the time they understood that what happened was an accident, but no matter what I still said it. At work I probably said it about 10-50 times depending on how busy it was because when I am in a rush, you are more than likely gonna get bowled over, and being that there would be so many people there it was hard NOT to bump into one another. But still, I felt bad and so I said it.
To me, saying sorry is just common courtesy. And yes, there are times when I am extremely angry with a person, they do apologize for what ever they did, and I have said "I know you are, now apologize". That's my way of letting them know just how bad it was what they did to me. But the majority of the time I expect a "sorry" because it lets me know that they know that they've done wrong.
To be honest I will never stop saying it and will never stop accepting it. It may be an over used phrase, but no matter how mad you are at that person, at least they are making an attempt to apologize. And as far as kissing my boo-boos, my moms kisses were what made the pain go away...the band-aid and antiseptic just made it heal.
1 person likes this
@corilat (180)
• Australia
6 Feb 08
My thoughts exactly, Rosey. You couldn't have said it any better. After reading the other responses I was thinking along these lines, wondering why noone else thought of it this way, and wondering how to put it into words, when there I saw your post. :)
@rosey3223 (1566)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Whew, Well that's a relief!! For a minute there I thought I was the only one, LoL!! Thank you!!
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I prefer the phrase "Pardon Me" if I bump into someone. And you're right the phrase I'm Sorry is way overused. If you put someone on hold, when you come back don't say "Sorry about that". Say "Thanks for holding". Wouldn't that be more positive.
And yes, if you come home 3 hours late without calling, "I'm Sorry" just doesn't cut it.
You're absolutely right.
2 people like this
@quiltedblessings (1066)
• United States
5 Feb 08
I agree completely with you. To be honest, my husband and I try really hard not to fall into the "sorry" trap. It doesn't do anything, and if you really are sorry, then prove it. Don't do it again. Period. I'm sorry has to be the most used and abused phrase, and the sad thing is, that probably 90% of the time that it is said, it is not truly meant.
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Here are some truly empty words. Bumping into someone I just say excuse me for the most part. I'm sorry is one that I don't use. This is not to say that I don't apologize for things because I do. I just choose to explain why I reacted to whatever it was that I was wrong about and come to some kind of conclusion about it. But before I react I do try to think about my reaction before it takes place which is really hard to do most of the time. It just depends on the situation. I usually use- I didn't mean to (insert whatever it was that I did) but this is why I did it and how I felt at the time. Then hope for some resolution..It doesn't always come out as calmly as it sounds though but you see the point.
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
6 Feb 08
I'm sorry is a polite thing to say when you accidently bump somebody. I *am* sorry if I stepped on your foot, I didn't mean to do it.
For more serious offenses, I want to know either what the person is going to do to fix it, or how they are going to make sure that it doesn't happen again. "Sorry" doesn't mean a damn thing if you cause damage and don't bother to clean up the mess.
1 person likes this
@dont_pick_your_nose (2279)
• Australia
6 Feb 08
Yes i think that Sorry is used very commonly but i think it does help.
When people have done something wrong or hurtful it makes me feel better to hear that they are sorry.
I agree that sometimes sorry doesn't cut it but i still like to hear it sometimes things are accidental and sorry is perfect and much better than saying nothing i think that is worse and shows weakness.
1 person likes this
