Did God not grant me a child because my husband, an unbeliever, and supposed

I have heard of God doing miracles, but HE also said that the husband is to be the head of the household and I think that is keeping the miracle from happening. It is as if these roadblocks were put in my way. The Vd was only one. It could have been cured if I was not bombarded by those around me that I did not deserve to get pregnant.

Not everyone who is infertile has a sexually transmitted disease. Plus when you adopt you do not have to disclose such things.

I would never hurt a baby, and my adopted sons are grown, but I have no idea whether vd will turn me into a monster. My friends say I am good with children, and maybe it is just fear. I have trying to find out why the miracle has not happened and why I was prevented, certainly I am not the type of woman who says, "I know that God was right in not granting me a child, I love travel too much or I would never be able to take care of them," and I think women just say that because they think they have to have an excuse. I do believe that God will grant me a miracle because what is impossible with man, is possible with God. And I am still upset with those people who said I had plenty of time. I did not hurt my sons when they were babies. It is just the idea that when you get vd, it is assumed that you will so they take your insides away.

I did not think Vd would make me harm children. It was when the scientists discovered what caused infertility, then for some reason, the girls had children decided to keep their babies. It was as if the 'good' women who were infertile because of no ovaries, or were born that way, should be allowed to adopt, but the 'bad' women who got vd and were now infertile should not be allowed. So by decreasing the number of babies available for adoption so only the 'good' women would adopt, the girls who would have released their babies for adoption, were sending a message.

Well it is not. God wants the husband to be the spiritual leader.

I do think faith has something to do with it. Your husband's lack of faith has kept him from going off of his medications and getting the help he needs.

Thank you. I keep on praying. I did watch "The Nativity Story" and it showed Elizabeth as being about fifty or a little older, well if she were fifty, then it was not much of a miracle. I think she might have been well into her eighties at least. It had to be way beyond the time of menopause not just into it, for people to lose hope that Elizabeth would have been able to bear just like Sarah being in her nineties. If you are in your eighties or nineties, then conceiving is impossible because there are no good eggs left. So that means that when it happens, I give glory to God.

you're very welcome...keep on trusting and thanking GOD...anything can happen if you just believe...thank you...have a blessed day to U...may GOD shower U & UR family with so much blessings, happiness, good life, lots of love, and with good health today and always!!!

Thank you. I felt it was the criticism that I was not a good housekeeper, I might burn the house down, I felt that God was listening and HE decided on my husband words that I would not deserve to be cured of my infertility. So I feel that if my husband did not criticize God would have answered my prayer. I know that I was a good mother, but maybe God wanted me to be a perfect housekeeper as well.

It has been going on a long time. I am against abortion, my husband is for it, I want a large family, my husband thinks a large family will lead to povery and he thinks women are not as smart as men. I think he knows that God wants him to be a Christian and not just a everyone goes to heaven no matter what their faith as long as their good, but he believes that the only one who can persuade him is someone who is perfect, and certainly not a wife who is not an ideal, can do anything type like me. So if God is preventing that because uf my husband does not want to become a Christian because I am one and not perfect himself, then part of the blame has to rest on my husband and not all on me.

First off God is not punishing you for anything. It says in you profile that you are 65 yrs. old, if that is true you must be talking baout stuff from long ago. I remember you said you had adopted to kids. I think you also had a discussion about having a grandchild. If that is right, do you get to see the baby. If you don't get to see the baby that much and you are wanting to hold babies and take care of babies. There might be places where you live that you can volunteer or maybe get a job taking care of babies. Sometimes at the hospitals you can volunteer to be a cuddler, thats where you just go in and hold and feed the babies. Some babies have to be in the hospital longer and they need that human touch, the nurses can't always take the time just to cuddle them. Also you can maybe check at a day care, they might need help with babies. Good luck, you sound like you have a deep longing to hold and take care of a baby. Fooey on anyone discouraging you. Being motherly is deep within you. Take care, I truly hope you find what you are searching for.

So do I. I am very good with babies, have always been and children like me, but I would rather be seen as mother rather than a helpful aunt.

I still dont get where ya think god did this. God didnt twist the tubes or what ever the vd did. And yes I have seen women paralized from waist down have kids. and some womann not ever meant to have kids have them . Just because you happened to go with some one that had vd and gave it to you God didnt do that either the guy did and he might not of known he had it. but still GOD didnt do it some one else did. Its not all that great to go thru the pain of having kids and I think you made a good mother to those twins stop growning that they werent babis you was the one needed for them! and you got them and raised them. and they sound like they turned out good. So be proud of that!and you have done your part as a mother. and be glad ya got the chance most people that have twins dont want 2 kids the same age so there is another plus for you you took on double the job. So hush now and be thankful ya got to raise those ywins!

oops I meant twins! sorry y and t to close togethre

I guess I can think that, but I have heard of women who had things seriously physically wrong with them and they still had children, so I have no idea what is going on. If someone in a wheelchair can get pregnant why not me? Do you suppose that thousands of years ago, women who got vd, and did not live that long, so God decided to twist their tubes, but now that they are able to live a long time and can get cured, the damage still remains?

Well where would these boys be without you? Bless you for giving them a home and family.

I do feel as if I did give birth to them, I would have felt better if we had gotten them when they were first born.

That could be. The boys do look a lot like me and their mother's family comes from the same area in North Germany that my father's family originated from hundreds of years ago. And my grandmother in law, said that my older son looks so much like me.

I wondered that, since I am also praying for the salvation of my family, and the only evidence is that my older son is going to a Roman Catholic church, and my other son may be going to it as well, because he is the godfather of my granddaughter. So something is going crazy here.

The Roman Catholics believe in faith by works, not on faith alone and they pray to the Virgin Mary. There are some that do not that much, but they have swayed from the true faith.

catholicsa re christian too do they not worship the son of God? why not just pray then let go and let GOD!

I feel this is why. And I think my husband knows it and is fighting God. He is getting involved in Harry Potter so God will not bless me. We have adopted two, but that is not the same and when we did, I was not a real Christian either.

you are now blaming your husband reading a fictional childrens book? look, so you people honestly think only Christians have children? really and truly? don't you think that's a bit daft?

God seems to expect more from Christians, so it is more likely that HE would not grant a child to a Christian if her husband was not one. At least that is the idea I got because in our church, either God did not grant the child because the mother had a great talent where she could make lots of money to help others, and when there was no child for most years later they got one. It was if they were not good enough. So maybe I am not as spiritual a person or have that child loving smile on me. I mean should I keep blaming myself? I already suffer from low grade depression anyway.

I do pray for my husband and so far God has not turned his heart towards the LORD. I have not asked my elders because there are some who are both Christians and still not conceived and I wondered whether it was something in their hearts. I do not want to think that God in HIS great mercy did not allow one to get pregnant --I sort to think that as God felt that person would be a bad mother, neglect their children, other than they have a horrible genetic disease and their children will all die in the womb or they have the serial killer gene in them and their children will turn out to be ax murderers -- you see I would feel it is my fault, and that I hope God did not call my husband to be one of His so that I could not bear a child. I do not have any great gifts to compensate for that. I can write and sing sure, but I am not making lots of money nor do I have any CDs out of my songs. So it cannot be because my talents are elsewhere.

Wait just a minute..You said, "I do not have any great gifts to compensate for that. I can write and sing sure, but I am not making lots of money nor do I have any CDs out of my songs." DON'T you even allow anyone to tell you that is not good enough..It is the praisers,worshipers,the singers and dancers that break bondages and strongholds..And though you don't have great money or a CD out does NOT make you less than those who do...You just keep singing, and ask G♥d to show you the way and to cleanse your heart so you can follow Him in the way you were meant to..

I did post this question in this group, I only got one response. From what I gathered, women in this situation should start off with prayer for the head of the house. (I do pray for my husband, but more for peace at this time because of the stress he is under at work). Maybe I should focus more on my husbands eyes to be opened or something like that... Here is what the poster said, who is male, and you can see why I thought maybe prayer for your husband is what you need to focus on: I think that G-d hears our prayers and also knows our needs male or female, but the man is the head of the household and I believe that he should submit to serving our L-RD completely in order that the blessings may be complete in our lives. I have experienced this what you talk about first hand. As a new or immature believer in our Messiah I wanted to serve Him with all I had but I was in the dark about certain spiritual truths. I would eat everything the pastor said which half the time was about material prosperity or tithes and name it and claim it nonsense. Real biblical truths which enable a man to serve G-d in spirit and in truth and are only revealed to us as we seek G-d in scripture and prayer with a tremendous passion to know the truth, this is the mans responsibility of a household. If a man refuses to forsake the world and lead his family down that narrow road he is only in for a bumpy ride in his walk and so is the family. This bumpy ride may be any hardships one faces whether financially physically or spiritually. I think your prayers are hindered on his behalf. I look back and see that my ignorance caused my family a lot of grief, I was not completely committed to my G-d, the God of the bible.

But I was a bad girl when I was in my late teens and later in my twenties because the people I was with kept good decent guys away from me. I know I am a sinner,but am I that horrible and I did not get any great talent in place. Everyone I know can cook, there are a lot of people who can sing, so is it either one of the other with me?

Actually I come from a long lived family and I am not talking about eighties, I have a relative that lived to be over one hundred, and since I am part Welsh, I am sure I will be in my nineties, I am younger than my years and I have prayed for a child since I was married in my late twenties. So I do not want to think that God waited until it was too late. I think HE gave me this good health and stamina for a reason.

I am thinking it sounds like you have no faith that you could have a child because you have not forgiven yourself? You keep saying you were bad and a sinner. Forgive yourself and trust God. Sometimes I wonder if God says no?Not because we are bad or undeserving but ultimately because he knows the best thing for our lives. Just a speculation I am not an authority. And are you sure you want to have a child at 65?

In our Church, the father is supposed to be in charge of spiritual worship and there have been cases of the husband taking the wife out of church, she being not strong enough to resist when he says there is a better church, and really it is not a Bible believing church. It could be that it is a punishment for him, to get him to come to Christ, but he still resists. I might be what is called collateral damage. I have gone over the other reasons, and I do know that even with the disease I got (and I have no idea how I got it) God can cure me. I do know that a lot of circumstances contributed to it, and I thought I could at least get rid of one circumstances = my husband's lack of faith and his belief that too many children are a burden. Also you might consider that I dated a lot to try to get a husband but no one else would marry me. We get along fine, but I wish he had not been told that too many children are a burden or he would not have thought it too much money to get fertility treatments.

I wish that he would be the spiritual leader. I know there are cases where both the husband and the wife are believers, and they cannot have children, but usually it is because they have a talent in some other ways. I just want to know why God gave me adopted children instead of my own. I am not that good a parent, or maybe I do not have the instinctual mother thing that I see others have. I have no idea why and I want to find other's insight into this problem. I can understand being born unable to have children, but part of the reason is my fault, and I have others who did the same thing as I did being bad girls and still got pregnant after marriage, so there has to be another reason. I keep wondering whether I have to do more than anyone else or it is the devil trying to get me to quit church and praying to God. I am rather stubborn though and hate the devil and do not intend him to win.

"In our Church, the father is supposed to be in charge of spiritual worship and there have been cases of the husband taking the wife out of church, she being not strong enough to resist when he says there is a better church, and really it is not a Bible believing church" Are you a woman? Do you or do you not live and breathe on this planet? If I am going to believe in something, in some supreme ruler or "father" (how chauvanistic and egotistical of man to believe "God" is the father and that man was created in his image) you best believe I will make the decision and if I want to worship, I WILL WORSHIP. NO ONE can tell me otherwise IF I TRULY BELIEVE IN GOD. I do not understand why some women will let their men convince them that, in an essence, he is God. He's not. He's a person, just like you. If YOU believe in something, and your faith is supposed to be pure, how can that faith be pure if all you're doing is listening to other people?

But don`t think that he damned you from God as God loves you for you not for his praise , I think if that was the case God would have not allowed for you to even havethe boys that he Blessed you with ... He obviously loves you enough to allow you that much ... Don`t pay any mind and think about the boys , thats all that you should worry about ..

Thank you, but I wanted to give them a baby brother and sister, and I did not get them when they were newborns and I always was told that if you bear a child, you get a natural instinct. You do not know how it hurts when someone tells you how to hold a baby so it head will not front because as an adoptive mother and not a birth mother someone has to tell you, because they believe it does not come naturally to know how to hold a baby until you give birth.

I would have felt better had I not given my daughter up for adoption when I was seventeen. It seems as if God was telling me that was the wrong decision and all things happened in my life to confirm it. First my so called friends deciding that all decent guys should stay away from me because I was a bad girl, then the lady I boarded with not wanting me to go to a Vd clinic because only bad girls went there, the attitude of the church I joined when I was in my twenties, that if you were not a virgin, you cannot get married and if you do, you cannot wear white, and not finding a husband until the damage had already been done, that bad case of the flu, and the doctor who gave me the medicine to cure me, neglecting to tell me do not have it with orange juice. Yes all these things added up, and my husband not being the spiritual head of the household,. I would have been a good mother. I am not a serial killer or a cold selfish fish. and it is a need, not a want. I can buy what I want if I work hard enough, this depends on faith.

You could look at this another way, though. You speak as if he is punishing you for giving your daughter up for adoption, when in fact your adopted children could be a blessing that God has given you to help with the sorrow and guilt of having given up your daughter. You can look at something like that from the positive side and the negative side, and it really looks as though you are taking this from the negative side. You need to forgive yourself for giving your daughter up for adoption. Did you ever think that that was also God's will? Perhaps you were not ready to be a mother at that time and it was best for the child for you to let another family raise her. Remember that God works in mysterious ways. It is not always meant for us to understand why things happen.

That is nice to know. I only hope that God does not have a higher standard for me than other Christians, but sometimes it feels that way. And if HE is trying to make me regret marrying my husband, well he was the only one who asked me and who meant it. So I might have still been single even now. So if my husband is the cause, maybe he should realize that his attitude towards God is the reason we could not have our own children, but my husband does not realize it. If it were mine, then I would feel guilty and I would pray like crazy for forgiveness. And since the infertility is in me, it has to be my fault and I cannot do anything to make it better and that hurts.

It annoys me as well. Sometimes he is nice that is most of the time, but when he says that the dinner is burned, or too cold, and at the same time, says that we should move out of our house into a 55 plus residence, I think where did the middle of my life go? He is getting better, but somehow I feel it is too late. Yet then for some reason, he will go back to what he was. I told him that what happened when I was acting childish was years ago, and does he have to bring that up now. I even asked him why did I bother to change. That stopped him.

I just hope it is not because I might have given birth to a John Gacey or I am a horrible person and would be a bad mother to a new born infant - might overlay him or something. We adopted our sons when they were three months, so there was no chance of that. I would accept it if it were to show God's wrath on those who by their deliberate actions or omissions decided to not let me be a mother. After all none of us likes it when someone is given no choice or feels she had no choice. And I do not think my husband and I are close relations. My family came from Moldavia and his from the Ukraine, but we are both of German descent, and there have been other families who had ancestors in the same town and they turned out all right. But I am never going to say, "I know that God was right in denying me birth children after marriage because I am a selfish person or whatever." I think infertile or made infertile women say that because they do not know the reason why.