Who should my son dance with at his wedding?

My personal opinion is that both mothers should be treated the same as far as the whole wedding goes. You didn't mention what his input is about it and it should really be his choice as to what goes on because it's his wedding and he knows what his feelings are for both of his moms.

Hello C2dwsn, Your son should dance with, and/or honor whichever he is most comfortable with. Though he might really appreciate the suggestion that he might wish to split the dance between the two of you. His Wedding Day is all about the Bride & Groom, and their future happiness! Not any slights on anyone else, real or perceived. Although, I genuinely believe that it's not only perfectly acceptable, but would most likely be received as a great suggestion if you let him know that you suspect that both you and the stepmom would most likely be hurt, if slighted. And, that he could avert any kind of insensitivity by letting both know in advance that the dance will be split between you two. Again, let it be known that it is only a suggestion, and that you will honor his decision -- regardless. Parents have a long track record of getting way too involved when it comes to weddings. I wouldn't wish for you to suffer that mantle. Most impasses can be overcome by way of honest, reasonable dialogue. I believe that that is your best bet here in this situation. Good luck & Congratulations to your son & soon to be D.I.L.!

I was alway under the impression that the birth mother and the step mother was to be treated the same....Both should get flowers and the birth mother should have the first dance after the bride dances with the husband and then step mother........ As for your family they weren't there when you needed a hand so they should keep out of it now.. If I were you I would go to the son that getting married and ask If he wants you to pay for your flowers for the wedding because you were hurt when you didn't get one at his brothers wedding.... It will make them set up and think before they do it again.......

I would think that like your other response, that it would be the new wife, mother, then step-mother. However, now a days, it's pretty much up to the couple getting married, and as many divorced parents as there are now, it's not an easy decision because someone's feelings are going to get hurt. I was the only mother in my step-son's life from the time he was 6 years old, his birth mother fell out of the picture, her choice. So basically I raised him along with my two daughters, however when his father and I divorced after 16 years of marriage and being is mother for 15 years, he opted to forget that I existed, along with my side of the family who always treated him as a grandson, nephew, etc, not like he wasn't my own. It was hurtful, but his decision, he got married recently, and the only way we found out was my daughter saw it on her myspace page. So, be thankful that you are included in the wedding, whoever gets the first dance, will it really matter 5 years from now who danced with who?

Maybe you can suggest that your son can dance his two mothers. That way no one will be left out.

Yeah, I think that you should get the dance because your his BIRTH mother that's always gonna be there for him no questions asked. his step mom has only been there some time

There's got to be some way to include BOTH of you. I don't think it's right to leave either one of you out. You should discuss it with him before hand so there's no surprises and keep in mind, this is his day, well more his wife-to-be but ykwim.

I think that you should get the dance cause you were the one that has always been there for him.