Mommy have you ever......?
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
United States
February 8, 2008 8:00am CST
Don't you just love when your children come to you and ask you questions about your childhood? My 11 year old has just recently started doing this and it is beginning to drive me crazy.
I feel that honesty is the best policy so I haven't had a question yet that I have lied about but I'm sure one is coming.
For example - I had no problem answering her when she asked me if I ever did drugs. I told her yes I got stoned one time off of two hits off of one joint. I ate two chili dogs, laughed at things that weren't funny then passed out.
But if she were to ask me when I lost my virginity (I hate the wording of this. I didn't lose it I know where I left it.) Then I think I may have to stretch the truth by a few years.
So what do you do when your kids ask you about your past? Do you give it to them straight or do you stretch the truth a little bit if there is no one else around that can tell them you are lying?
The last thing I want her to be able to do is go out and do something stupid like get drunk at 13 and when I go to punish her have her excuse to me be "but you did it and you turned out fine"!
Thanks in advance for your comments.
3 people like this
7 responses
@SViswan (12051)
• India
8 Feb 08
I believe in being truthful to kids. But having said that, the age of the child is also a consideration. Depending on the age, I might twist the truth a little bit to work it out in my favour:P
Or maybe just have a talk about the issue or whatever it is that my child needs to know. Usually I find them asking such questions when someone they know is doing it or when contemplating doing it...and want to know what you think or feel about it.
So, even if it's something I did and I don't want my child doing it because I know (NOW)it was a mistake, then I might wait to tell my child about it. I might say something like, 'Let's first talk about what you think'...or maybe on a lighter note...ask 'What do you think?' and can have a game of guessing.....atleast it will get my child to start thinking of how mommy's head works or worked.
2 people like this
@cynicalandoutspoken (4725)
• United States
8 Feb 08
That is a really great idea! Although if my daughter were to ever figure out how mommys head works she might go immediately insane. LOL
I will have to try turning the table on her the next time she asks a question I don't particularly want to answer. Thanks for the suggestion!
1 person likes this
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
8 Feb 08
I haven't had this happen yet- thankfully. The extent of it is did you watch this tv show or read this book when you were my age. My daughter is only 6 but I can see it already starting. I don't know how I will handle it yet. It depends on her age and the question. There will always be some truth to my answer but it may not be "my" truth or it may be. Just depends...
2 people like this
@myworkid1987 (755)
• United States
8 Feb 08
oh boy my daughter isnt quiet at that stage yet and its gonna be a while before she is. She is 11 months now. But when she does start asking these questions I think Im gonna have to lie to her a bit. She might find the truth someplace else but Ill try my best to keep my past a secret and have everyone else that knows about it keep it a secret to. I didnt find out my dad dropped out of high school till i was 18 or 19 and he was doing schooling threw the mail. I got kicked outta school and had to finish my schooling threw the mail and when he was starting to get the same books i was getting I got a lil suspicious. lol and the truth came out.
@mag_keizer2007 (1282)
• Canada
8 Feb 08
Well thanksfully my 7 year old has not asked me questions like that yet. She is more like did you go to brownies and how did you do in school. But I must say I am going to be truthful with her. I don't want to lie to her. I didn't start drinking until I was 17, which is only 2 years from being legal here but I will also tell her that I felt guilty about it and I thought for sure I was going to get caught, and the virginity thing I would be honest with herr and say yes I lost it young But i wish I had of waited because it does not seem special to me now!!!It was just something that happened to me I don't look on it in a specail way...Oh some other bull crap like that. I don't want her finding out that I lied to her even though she might not ever find out the truth. Good luck!!!
@Sh0rtii011 (128)
• United States
9 Feb 08
Well i dont have children but i know sometimes my mom tries to stretch the truth hehe. but to me it depends on how old they are and if they are able to handle the truth, im able to handle the truth, i just guess my mom dosent feel the same way ^_^
@kathy08 (46)
• United States
9 Feb 08
LOL Don't feel alone. Children are wonderful little creatures. My son asked me one time if I knew George Washington. I laughed and said well, I have heard of him. Don't personally know him.
As far as personal life? I think it is best they don't know everything. Somethings just aren't their business. Not to be mean by that statement but, we raise them the way we see fit. That really has nothing to do with what we did with our lives. Some of the questions come from being curious. Our lives were so different from theirs and that is understandable. Personal things are discussed when the time comes. That is about them. Nothing about us. Don't get all bent your doing fine but be prepared, more questions are on the way I am sure LOL
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
8 Feb 08
I think my husband wil have his hands full because my 5 year old son is forever asking him questions not necessarily about life as such but of "what does this mean" and "why does this do that" kinda stuff.
I try to be as honest as I can with my son and if it means stretching the truth a little bit to help him understand that some of what I did in my teenage years were not "consider good", then so be it.
I want him to feel comfortable in asking us anything and everything and if we have that open communication, then I know he will make the right choices for himself.
