Need help... to all parents here in mylot...

If, as the Security Guy told you, your Son was crying for over fifteen minutes, there has to be a good reason why. Even if the maid didn't slap his face, she put him in a traumatic position by locking him in the bathroom for fifteen minutes with only her present. He must have been terrified, poor little mite. I can imagine she might have slapped him to stop him crying, because she lost her cool. I would take your child in to the school on Monday, and demand to speak to the teacher. Tell her what happened and that you would like a meeting in front of her, with the maid and your child present. Report to the teacher what your child told you, and ask her why was your child allowed to be locked in the bathroom for fifteen minutes, with no other person but the maid? You have to get this straightened out or your child will always be wary of going to school now. This is Victorian stuff... and the maid should be sued for what she's done, whether she actually laid a hand on him or not. Tell the teacher that you want a public enquiry into this, or you will take it to the police if it is not resolved within the week. Personally, I think the maid should be fired, and her qualifications marked with a serious misdemeanor, just as one's driving license is marked when one obtains a traffic offense. She should not be allowed to acquire a job with children anywhere else for a minimum of five years, and even then, she should have to undergo monitoring for at least a year. Stand your ground and get this sorted for both your peace of mind and your child's fear of going to school again. Brightest Blessings. I really hope you can resolve this, and please keep us up to date in here, as to how things go for you both.

With having 4 children of my own I know that they dont lie at 3, children only learn to lie through others, so when you go into school dont let them try to convince you that he must be lying for attention or something. For a child to be distressed something must have happened, so you go in on Monday and try to get to the bottom of it, see what they say and what they are prepared to do about it, because a child does not get distressed for no reason. I hope it all goes ok for you, we all love our children and there is nothing worse than seeing them unhappy or sad.

Usually when you question a child after a disturbing incident, especially parents, who themselves are already upset or concerned, a child will sense that. Sometimes they will say what they think you want to hear, so you must be very careful about the way you ask the questions to avoid planting images in their head. For instance, instead of asking "what did the maid do to you when you went to the bathroom, did she hit you?" You would ask " What caused you to have such a problem in the bathroom today?", "Is there anything we can do to make it easier next time?". I would however, question the maid (the same way, why did he have such a problem....") Because if you directly accuse someone, they will always be defensive and automatically deny. I have been through alot of different things with my son, and he is only 8. So I do have a little skill. #:)

If this were my child I would report it immediately, and I would not bring him back to that center unless and until that person was terminated. I would also expect to have criminal charges brought against the individual. This is all assuming that your child is telling you what really happened. I would suggest changing the subject with him, then do a little role playing and ask him to play the roles of the teachers and other people in the center. Don't ask him leading questions, just let him tell you or show you what happened. Don't spend a lot of time talking to him because it may inadvertently lead him to say what he thinks you want to hear. Bottom line, take action immediately. Don't wait because it will be less likely that it will be resolved quickly and appropriately.

I am an overprotective mother to say the least. I walk next to my child when they are climbing the stairs to the top of the slide on the playground because I am fearful they are going to slip and bust their face open. If this were my son I would tell the teacher of course but I would confront the maid directly and tell her if she ever laid a finger on my child again she would be drinking all of her meals through a straw for the rest of her life on this planet because she would no longer have hands to use. Be prepared for her to deny it and accuse you of being the unreasonable one for believing your 3 year old over an adult. But stand your ground and don't let his age be made an issue. Explain that you haven't raised your child to be a liar and he hasn't lied to you ever so you doubt he is lying about this. Good luck to you. I know if I were in this situation I would not be able to keep my cool.

I believe your child. As someone else said, a child won't lie when they're crying and upset, especially that young. No matter what anyone says, it's vital that your child knows that you believe in him and you can't back down on this! He'll always trust you, long after this situation is forgotten and he'll always know there's at least one person in the world that loves him. I hope that maid gets fired. She obviously belongs not in a nursery but an office building--or a garbage dump.

In the US there are agencies that investigate cases like this and will shut down facilities for this or for less. What possible cause or right does a cleaning person or anyone else at your child's pre school have slapping him on the face. I would give the security guy an extra tip, it sounds like he is really concerned about the kids. I think the teacher has a lot of explaining to do. It sounds to me like she knows what it going on, but does not want to admit it. Be prepared to be told your child is lying, but I bet he is not. If he had not been known to do so before, he would not now either.

I should talk to the teacher, get the other parents to back you up, about the conduct of the maid. This is a very simple solution. You do not need to exaggerate this as there are child molesters in the school who are planning to murder or harm your child. You have to realize that your child is quite young. Most three year olds have someone in the bathroom with them. They are not old enough to go by themselves and they are not tall enough to reach the door knob, they need reminding to wash their hands and a stool so they can reach the basin, so there has to be someone that will take him to the washroom and be in the washroom at the same time. I would say get rid of the maid and get the school to hire someone else.

You have every right to be upset and worried about your son, I know I would be if anyone laid a hand on my son. I'm sorry but I would not tolerate it and demand an explanation FIRST by talking to the teacher in charge AND then talking to the maid. I'm sure they are going to deny it and if the discussion doesn't go far, then I would report it or take the next step. NO ONE and I mean NO ONE should be hitting or smacking someone else's child for ANY REASON. If I laid a hand on someone elses kid, you'll bet the parents would have me fired and possibly arrested, so don't accept it if YOU are not HAPPY with the outcome of your discussion. Follow your gut instinct, because it's usually right in the end. Protect your child and have him removed from the nursery if they don't get rid of the maid.

You definitely need to report this. And also if your son doesn't feel safe going back I wouldn't take him back. If there is another nursery school near by I would try to get him in there.

Number one, ALWAYS BELIEVE YOUR CHILD! Unless and until they give you reason to believe otherwise, you always trust what your child say's, when you act like you don't, that is when they will stop coming to you. Now I am a Foster/adoptive parent, and have had a lot of training and experience with this type of situation. 1st Do not go directly to the maid, this may cause you to lose the battle, it will forwarn her that you and the school are onto her. I would go directly to the principal, or owner of school, explain the fact's that you know, then have them to call in the guard, and the other teacher. Ask if anything like this has been reported before, or if the guard has seem similar things happen, as the guard seems to be pretty up front, and forth coming. You can expect a waiting period, they will, (if they do it properly), suspend the maid with pay, until they investigate the situation, if they leave her/him in the class, then you should pull your son out, and got directly to the police. Most daycares/head starts, now have cameras, if yours does then they will review the tape, and they will ask the other students, and may choose to question some other parents. After they investigate they should call you in for another meeting and apprise you of the results, then the next step is up to you. I would definately report this incident to the police though, that way if she is fired or leaves on her own, when she applies for another job, and they do a background check, as they should that would show up. I hope this info has helped. Blessings

A maid who goes around slapping a three year old should not be there in the first place. You certainly are justified in worrying for your son's safety and over all it can create a negative impression in the mind of a child so young. Maybe it would be a good idea to subtly get the views of other parents and find out if similar incidents have occurred previously. But don't waste time. Do report the matter and be quite firm.