Honest Opinions please....Any Improvement tips?

@SheraD3 (207)
United States
February 9, 2008 5:59pm CST
Ive recentely started writing poetry and I would like to get everyones opionions on 2 that I've writen. What do you think? and Should I do anything different? Any poetry writing tips? Here's the 2 links to the ones I would like opinoins on. Thanks! Memories http://www.helium.com/tm/843597/drove-watched-flames-smoke Unforgivable http://www.helium.com/tm/851930/third-passes-tears-still
2 responses
LilyoftheThorns
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
10 Feb 08
First of all if these are poems they may be easier to read if they are put in correct poem form. But skipping over that unimportant detail... I think these are really good! Real powerful meanings, well written. I like how these poems are all metaphor (right? O.o) No one is actually dying in these poems, just metaphorically?
SheraD3
@SheraD3 (207)
• United States
10 Feb 08
Yes, they are just Metephors, and Thank you Im glad you liked them!...And Im glad to know that they come across with powerful meanings. But I wanted to ask what you mean by "put in correct poem form?" Im looking for anything I can do to improve!
LilyoftheThorns
@LilyoftheThorns (12918)
• United States
12 Feb 08
Well I am no pro when it comes to poems..so don't quote me on this lol. But I'm used to reading poems in a certain format...don't know what it's called lol. But it looks like this... ---------------------- ---------- ---------------- --- --------------------- --------- -------------- Except with words ;P lol. I just find them easier to read when they are like that!
SheraD3
@SheraD3 (207)
• United States
12 Feb 08
Thanks so much for your info! I have always enjoyed writting but I don't know much about poetry and now I'm sorta wanting to get into it more so I appreciate your helpfulness!
zenmachado
@zenmachado (1617)
• United States
10 Feb 08
Im not too sure about the structure of the poetry, but the messages were quite resonant and solid.