I need your advice.

Tell her she is sick and that he is old enough to be her father. Tell her he is going through a midlife crisis and as soon as he gets over it she will be history to him. I know this sounds mean but reasoning with her and trying to be a nice good friend probably won't work. She really needs someone closer to her own age. In some states in the US that guy would go to jail for being "involved" with a 17 year old.

hi there! thanks for sharing this story. at this point, you can't really do much about it because your friend is obviously in love. but that is not natural. although i don't want to judge, usually these kinds of guys are pedophiles who want to prey on unsuspecting young girls. after they have used and abused these girls, they dump them for other preys who are gullible. talking against the man of her life will turn your friend against you. she will feel that you are against the love of her life and she will find the feeling of me against the world very romantic. instead, try to be with her so that when she falls, you will be ready to catch her. tahnks and God blesS! :-)

I don't possibly see how such a young girl can be attracted to a man old enough to be her father but it does happen. I would wonder about him and his intentions. I don't really think you should say too much though because if she really feels she is in love, she will just get angry at you. Just be there for her and listen to her when he does leave her for another.

It will never work would be a good start. I was married to a guy 14 years older than me, and I was young and stupid, and he had money,lol. It lasted 5 years at which point the divorce was final, and I had a 3 year old. I love my daughter and she was the best thing from that marriage. But, if she is thinking she can change him, not going to happen. and she is young and will have different outlooks and dreams than he does. She needs to run and run fast. Been there done that got that t-shirt.

from a Legal viewpoint first off it's illegal. He is engaging with a minor. Yea she's 17 but shes still a minor. Not to sound mean but why would your friend wanna be with a man who has viagra in his five year plan. I am assuming that her parents know nothing of this man? He is more of a fatherly figure (he's probably even around her father's age) and with the age difference thats whats gonna happen. He may be saying he loves her but pretty soon he is gone to try and start to control her like a father would. Theres no good outcome to this relationship. This man is pretty much in his settling down age. and your friend is soon to be hitting the fun party age. He is gone to become jealous and possessive when she begins to want to do what normal 17 - 25 year olds want to do. this man should be ashamed of himself. And embarassed at himself for the way he is acting. he is not being responsible at all. yea she may be mad at you at first but i think i would have to tell her parents what is going on.

Wow... alot of that going around these days.

You don't need advise, its your friends who needs it but don't waste your breath. She is hung up in the troes of love and theres nothing anyone can do about that!Time will tell! Perhaps she will be ok and have a Great life with this Fatherly Man. Who's to say?

I am 51 but I was young once and hindsight is really everything. He is far too old for her and not that age always makes a difference but if he was in this because he really, really, really loved her, well, he would not humiliate her or disrespect her like that. Because of the huge age difference there is bound to be some eyebrows raised and if he was really in love, he would be defending his love for her. It does happen but it is very rare and this does not sound like one of those cases at all. she is probably nothing other than a boost to his ego. their are not many 17 year olds that would give even a really nice looking man of that age a 1st glance. Is your friend really that desperate?

To a certain extent, we can only advise as a friend and hope by the side that she will listen and heed. Just say what is on your mind as an advise. Remember not to be over assertive and dogmatic. However, in the event it has fallen on deaf ears which is all so often in the area of relationship. Then, you will just have to step aside and let them feel the actual pain of a needle poke. And as a friend, we will just need to open our arms to comfort them when they have fallen.

Wow, that is a huge age gap. It's not a good situation. Girls at her age are very vunerable and it doesn't sound to me like he really loves her or respects her. I'm sure that it does hurt her when he says stuff like that and quite honestly she needs to run in the other direction just as fast as she can. That is way to old for a 17 year old to be dealing with. She needs to find someone closer to her age. Does her parents approve of this relationship? I would hope not, but now a days it's hard to tell. anyways, i wish your friend all the best and good luck...keep us posted on things and God bless

At 17 years old I didn't know what love was because I didn't have anything to compare it to, now that I am almost 40 and been thru heartaches and heart breaks I have something to compare it to. I think your friend is too you for this man he is using her and there really is nothing you can do or say that will make her see it love is blind and when he dumps her for someone else or maybe goes back to a woman his own age she will be heart broken and the first person she is going to go to is you. Thats what makes you a good friend you can tell her you are worried about this relationship and then tell her you love her and will always be there for her. Talking bad against the man will only make her feel sorry for him and drive her closer to him she has to see it for her herself and sometimes watching a very good friend walking head into something you know is going to hurt is not easy to watch. It's just part of her growing up, a few years from now after he has dumped her an she has cried on your shoulder and has eatin about a gallon of ice cream she will be very happy and grateful you have been there for her. I wish you the best, hang in there things will get better....-Amberina

Holy sht. The dude's a pedophile. There has to be a way to prosecute him.

your friend is young. and the guy obviously is old enough to be her dad. i would understand it if she was 20+ years old. she's just 17 years old. she might still be confused about the real meaning of love. what if he's just lacking some affection from her dad, and the guy is the perfect person where she gets it from. it's hard to tell yet if she really is inlove with the guy, because of her age.

i do not think your friend is sick. think this way, most girls like there father alot when they are teens, did not mean they are sick, just becaue they wanna someone who is strong and resposebility, and serious about love. it is just cool. she will get it over when she's growing up.