Would you be FOR or AGAINST your partner joining the armed forces ?

My two cents. My ex husband was Army, my current husband was Army and almost joined the Marine's last year, and we have a lot of military friends. Whatever they tell you is not a given. They can say you will get XYZ and base XYZ, but until you have it in your hand, things can change. You will be alone for months at a time - at least in the beginning when he is going through training. Any MOS can be sent overseas (maybe no Iraq, but can be sent out of the country) for months on end. Be realistic in your expectations, the military life offers a lot but what you sacrifice is not always worth what you get. If you are not independent, I don't suggest military life. You never know when you could be left alone to do everything. It is not an easy life. If he does decide to join, go Marine Corps BUT only if you can survive on what ever money they will allow him to send you while he is in boot camp. Overall, the Marine's is the best branch for a family (other than the boot camp issue) in my opinion. We thought the military was a good option for us, but I am glad we decided against it. Being an ex-military wife I was sort of prepared for it, but not looking forward to the lifestyle again. To tell you the truth I didn't like the fact that we were going to be separated for 3 months for boot camp and then maybe even longer depending on what MOS they decided to give him.

I would be 1000000000000% against any member of my family going into the service right now. It is not because I am not patriotic. I did my hitch in the Navy. It is because of where the war is. I would not wish that place on my worst enemy. Except my Ex. You do not want your Husband to have to go to the Mideast. You do not. I was there. You do not!!! Besides, how old is he? He is getting too old to go through Boot Camp with the "kids". He is in construction right? Join the Union. Do something else to get medical. Go back to school, anything. Drive a big rig. Besides, he will have to make rank before you get any medical. The pay is not very good for the first few years. You would have to work just to make it. There are a lot of families on food stamps etc. whose husbands are in the military. He has to get to E4 before he starts getting any benefits for his family. Shalom

I'd tell him to get into a trade like communications, where the chance of going overseas is slim. Otherwise, no way. It's hard enough counting down the days till my cousin goes over...and he's infantry :o( So yeah, tell him to check things over and he can go speak to someone and explain that he has a family he would like to stay close to. They may ask him to post somewhere nearby, but usually not overseas.

That is a big decision sweety and I can totally see the benefits but the downside is that most people in the services do have to spend a lot of time away and are sent into very dangerous situations, that is something you would have to seriously consider together before you made any decision! This kind of life can and does work for a lot of people but is too much of a strain on other families - only you guys could know whether it would work for you or not! My other half spent 4 1/2 years in the navy before I met him and he loved it but he was single with no ties then - he left because his mother had serious health problems at the time and needed him at home! Good luck with any decision you make sis! xxxx

I'm all for it but it's only for the strong that can handle it. There is no happy medium. It's either, the good being REALLY good or the bad being REALLY bad. I know because my hubby spent 27 years in the army and I've been married to him for 15 of those years and it nearly destroyed our marriage a couple of times. Thank God we were strong enough to combat our problems for we've been married now for almost 17 years. He's been to Germany before he met me and took his first wife with him and HE was there for 3 years. Divorced his ex and later married me and he's been to Korea a year two times and both times I've had to stay in the states and wait for his return. It's NOT an easy life but it's a good one if one can handle the ups and downs. The medical is good because it's free while he's on active duty but you have to learn how it's all done or you'll end up paying for your medical care yourself. So what ever you do, please be careful because you can get caught up in the system and get into some sort of trouble. If you need some advice, ask away for I'm here and willing to help with all that I can. Oh and rules change all the time and every day so I may not have the most up to date information that you may need but I'll certainly try my best to help you guys along.

Been there done that. Okay, my husband joined the Army right after we got married. Yep, you get a place to live, yep you get full medical coverage. But you will have (and he will have) absolutely NO CONTROL over him staying or leaving. Best case scenario, he does not get shipped off to war, but, he will be shipped off for other things. Say he joins the Army, a couple of times a year, he will be gone for a month for various training excercises, plus they go out into the field for a week or two many times a year. Say he joins the Navy, he will go on WesPac, once every couple of years. THat means he sails away on a 6, and is gone for 6 straight months. ` Now, I don't know as much about the others (Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard), but be very sure that they will also leave for times as well. Take these things into consideration, please, because I have seen many military families break up, because the wife could not deal with her husband being gone for periods of time. The military can do good things for your family, but remember, once your husband signs any documents, he basically is owned by the military, and they will come first, even before you.

I would be for it also, if I knew mine would not be going overseas. However, he is against going into the military period. I would do it if I knew I would not be sent overseas or away from my family for a long time. I have 3 family members in the Nat'l Guard and they are supposed to stay in our country. The whole point of Nat'l Guard is to stay in the US and protect the US here. However our govt. seems to think they need to be sent overseas. I thought that was the point of the Army, Marines, Airforce, and Navy, but I guess they feel they should all be sent. Anyways, if you feel that is what is best for your family, then go with it. Remember though, that your husband could get sent overseas anytime with only maybe a months warning. Good Luck on your decision!

Personally, I would totally be against it. There is no reason why my partner should go into the military. There are many, many, many other options out there for my partner, besides the military. Why put him in danger, just for medical benefits?

I would not be ok with it. I support our troops but I couldn't have him be away like that!! But for those who do it, amen to them.

I would probaly think just about the wqay you fell but if that is what he wants to do than I would stand behind him because after all he is going there to fight for his country I have 4 grown sons and if one of them was wanting to join I would feel the same as you but I would stand behinmd them and pray for their safty

My husband is in the USAF and has been since before we got together. There are definite advantages and disadvantages to it. We've been lucky and haven't had to go through a deployment, but we are prepared for one, and we know we will be going through a few before he gets out, since he plans on making it a career. One thing you really have to consider is whether or not he's going to like what he does, and if he can get into the field he wants. My husband loves his job, and that makes it so much easier for him. He has a job that generally has set hours, though there are exercises and other things that cause him to have to change his schedule. You have to consider that when he's gone, there's also a good chance you are going to be away from your family, so you will really be doing everything on your own. You won't have family around to help you with the kids.

I don't believe in war at all and so no payoff would be worth it for me. If my hubby were intent on joining, I would support him of course but I would not want him to join just to help us out monetarily. And especially in times of war....risks are so great. He would mean more to me than all of the benefits etc. I think you should really consider the risks. I mean if he were really passionate about this war that'd be one thing but just for the money? i don't know as I can agree with you on that.

Actually this is something I can say I have expereince in. My exhusband went into the Army right before we got married one of the reason we got married was it was easier to be married and go into the army than not and then get married once he was in. LOL!! My ex was a 95charlie. which is a prison guard. He was never shipped out to over seas .. There are MO's that are non deployable. At least their was back in 98 I would talk to you recruiter and check it out. LOL!! If you have a good recruiter he will tell you the upside and the down side to everything. I actually miss being an Army wife. I think the unity was great and the fact that every one moves so often they tend to be welcoming. LOL!! Also there is post housing that you can get once you have signed up for it you might be on a waiting list but eventually you will get housing .. I ended up with a 3 bedroom house for me and my ex and the baby I was carrying. so you would easily get that and might even end up with a four bedroom .. It's all about what you and him think is right. There are benefits and there are minuses. The Army literally broke down and changed my ex. He never was abusive in the yr we were dating before this. He went to basic and came back with a chip on his shoulder. He was uncharacteristically mean and it just got worse .. He even attempted to kill himself while I was pregnant and then after that he went off on me and my saving grace was my mom called and he went off on her and she knew something was really wrong and her call gave me enough time to grab the baby and Lock myself into the downstairs bathroom with the other phone and then my mom called back saying she called the MP's and he ended up staying in the barracks for two weeks no contact was allowed with me or the baby at the time. He eventually just got worse. When we came back to our hometown he went of the meds the army gave him and he snapped and said he didn't want the responsibility of a family and walk out on his wife and son and daughter his son was 3 months old at the time .. we made it about 2 1/2 yrs into marriage. LOL!! We have been currently seperated for 7 and 1/2 yrs and I have been gathering money for my divorce because I don't trust him not to contest it. LOL!!! The only nice thing about this is that he has left me alone to raise our kids without his interference.. I think that was the best he could have done. So it has it's pluses and minuses in my book but anyone who goes in has to mentally strong or it will break you. Sorry about the rant .. I would say it's a good option if hubby has a strong mind and can't be broken. Ultimately I think it was just my ex might have been predisposed to insanity and the army just allowed him to have his first breakdown since he was not good with pressure. LOL!!!

of course someone can join arm forces, the only thing is that he/she can take care of him/herself... consider it before joining in...

mmh normally it is quite impossible here in italy as regards woman can ask me this!but in general i think i wouldn't against this kind of decision!!i was in armed forces for years but so i understand that ave a relationship or marriage and being prt of this can be a bit difficult..especially if there is possibility you come away from home for longer period!! surely i hnk many people join the armed forces in the world due to economic or things like that so depends..surely as reagrds that it can be an option for the family but i depends in which kind of force it will come and so if there are much risks about it so on.. so good luck for your hubby if he will join in it!

Being a military wife and married to an Army soldier, I have to be honest and tell you that if we had to do it all over again, but i would have to say i would be against it. I support my husband and I am so very proud of him for serving our country, but it's alot of lonely nights and it's raising three children on my own and every now and then being able to see him on the webcam for a brief moment or two. It's worrying day and night if they are okay and not hearing from them for a couple of days and worrying more. There are a lot of good things about the military, but the family comes last when duty calls. We have an almost two year old daughter and he's missed almost a year of her life and all the new things she is learning and how much she is growing. It's very difficult, but it's also a very proud time to. There are pros and cons both, so really you and your husband need to sit down and really think about it. The money is good, but is the money better than having him home or always wondering when the call is gonna come in that he has to leave. This is my husbands 2 deployment in 3 years. We've been married almost four years and he's been home a little more than a year and a half of it. We will miss our anniversary and he will miss our daughters second birthday, our sons birthday, Easter, other family's birthday, and he missed Christmas for the second time this past Christmas. But, like I said, i fully support my husband in his decision to reenlist. The Army is his life and I can't see him doing anything other than that. You just have to make sure you are gonna be able to be strong through it and handle it well. It can tear alot of marriages up, but it can also make you stronger and grow closer together. It really has to be a decision that you don't get from other people, but you and your husband. Good luck and keep us posted. God bless!

My hubby brought this up before. I told him to do what he thought he should do. I would hate for him to go away but he did last winter and we got through it but i know it is a completely different life than the one we have now. It is a really hard dicision but i think it is one that he would have to make for himself because he has to have the right mind set to go over and fight.

Sissy,that's a really hard question. Thank goodness my hubby is old and can't go in. :) But as far as you are concerned, I don't know. You'll have to give it some very serious consideration - it's a huge step. There are more things to consider than I know about. You need to find a way to talk with some military wives about how they deal with it and what they deal with. It seems to me that there must be something out there on the net about it - wives groups or something. I don't think I could stand the thought, really, I'd be terrified. I was an Air Force brat, and my mom went through some real crap. Carrying 6 kids overseas and back, being alone raising them for the most part, and the lonliness has got to get indescribable. Well, shoot, I'm sorry - just my ramblings. Talk to some wives - they'll be way better equipped to give you the real skinny. Good luck, darlin. :)

If you are young enough, it is a great opportunity, the downside being if he get called out to war...you could lose him. My husband retired after 20 years, luckily was never in a war.

Thankfully my spouse is too old, and already did his military service in the 1970's. My son did join however, while I was quite worried about it (still am) I am proud of him for making such a decision and sticking to it. Keep in mind though Sissygrl - that you will NOT be able to support a family on military pay. When my son was at the recruiters office, they made that quite clear to him. It was also discussed again at his family meetings at OSUT graduation at Ft Benning. The camp commander spoke at lenght about family life while in the military. They do not pay enough to support a family. They said that military wives need to expect to be working full time and not count on the Army (or whatever branch) to provide for all of their needs. In most of the towns around military bases, the majority of the military families are also on welfare. So please, keep that in mind!