Do you let certain "Gender Roles" influence you?

I think it would be a little one sided. Tomboys are ok. But girlyboys are... considered odd. Nobody looks twice at a woman in a suit & pants. But a guy in a dress would probably get a giggle & backward glance.

Hello Emmasmomma, I dont have kids but if I did I would hope I was open minded enough to let my child play with whatever toys he would like to play with. As for dressing him/her, I think I would dress them as there given gender until they expressed a prefrence for something different. If for no other reason, when they start school, I wouldnt want them to get ridiculed. Take care, Terry

I dont see anything wrong with you buying your girl a tool box to help her daddy.But I would never let a boy play with girl barbie dolls,and never dress a boy in pink pants or shoes. Maybe a light pink shirt for a boy would be ok thats about it. Dressing a girl in blue is ok there is nothing wrong with that at all.Most of the clotes that my daughter likes is blue.

My husband doesn't like it when my son plays with "girly" things. I don't see a problem with it, though. My son has a baby doll that we bought before he was born. We used it to get the pets used to seeing it and smelling all the baby smells on it and understanding where the baby would sleep, etc. Anyway, our son found the doll when he was about 1.5 years old and has loved it ever since. He just turned 2, and he plays with it almost everyday. I don't have a problem with it at all. After all, his daddy plays with him and changed diapers and everything, so why shouldn't he practice? Most of the toys he plays with are cars, tools, etc, but that's just because that is what he prefers most of the time.

Great topic for a discussion. I think about this often as well. I think we are more lenient about girls doing boyish things then we are of boys doing girly things. My daughter loves trains and right now is obsessed with diego. I'm going to try my best not to discourage my son from liking barbie if thats what he wants to do. Maybe someday he will want a doll and well I guess I'll buy him a doll even if I dont want to because I don't think its going to make him grow up and be a homosexual just from being allowed to play with dolls you know. My newphew has a little sister and I have a daughter and a son but my son is to little to play with my nephew so he plays polly pocket with the girls and thats awesome!

no i dont let gender roles influence me,cause in the world we are living you have to give a hand in everything,both men and women are doing the same jobs,men can take care and handle childrens as well as women,and women can handle jobs well as men do,when i was young i remeber me going with my dad to his work place,he was a builder and as a child i loved very much helping him..now that i m grown up woman and have my own family with 3 childrens i know how to do a lots of thigs and give a hand in most everything,i m sure that it helped me a lot

I didn't think twice about getting a kitchen kit for my son when he was younger. I think I would have got him a doll if he wanted it. My sons do wear pink but not frilly stuff and when I think about it, I wouldn't make my girl wear a typical boyish T-shirt either. I know a friend whose daughter will only wear boys clothes and we had to get a pair of pants for her when we got our son a pair...and I thought she looked funny in it....o I'm sure I wouldn't get them for my daughter. But generally, I prefer unisex clothes.

I try not to but I think it is somewhat inevitable.

I dunno much about the colour thing coz my daughter wears anything - not sure what we'll do when my son arrives but yeah, putting boys in pink has never been something that's really done! As for toys, well, i don't think a little girl should be deprived of tools, cars etc just because she's a girl :) My SIL gave her nephews these little shake & go cars for Xmas, my daughter loved it but i haven't seen one to get her, instead, a few days ago my partner & i got our daughter a similar car, you shake it, it revs harder & harder, then when you let it go, it goes really fast - then if you let it hit something, it makes an excellent crash sound, the rear spoiler/wing flies out of the trunk & the bonnet/hood & doors fly open, it's an excellent toy & my daughter loves it! I figure if she likes it then there's no reason she shouldn't have it! There are more cars to collect & a crashing race-way so we might end up getting her the whole set! I think you did the right thing, let her experience everything, there's no harm in it. As for our son, well, i guess if he decides he likes soft dolls or likes playing with his sister's ones, then i guess there's no harm in letting him have one!

Yah, I am guilty of this! lol I am very conscious of gender roles. I differentiate it in detail with my children. I am afraid they develop as gays or lesbians. Because I have aunts who are lesbians and a cousin who is a gay. I am afraid they might end up that way,too.

Probably not. As long as the child likes it, it should be fine. When I was young, I watched soccer with my dad every week and played with lego, robots, swords etc...but then, I grew up with a bunch of boys. All my cousins around my age were boys.

I guess I would have to wait and see if i had a boy. If he was interested in the babies and girl toys I would let him play with them.My daughter is a sports freak and I am trying to get her into sports so i buy her sports things and she is only 2 but i didn't for my first because she showed no interest in sports!!!!good discussion

well, back then my parents also bought me a robot and some toys that were usually played by boys. I think there was no problem with that. but when you mention about buying a barbie for a son ... well, I will also have a problem with this if I have a son that wants a barbie. but I'm quite open in this, maybe there is another use of barbie for the son, different than daughters play. I know somebody who has barbie doll for himself but he was a bit big boy when he got this one. he got interest in clothes design and his mother later decided to give him a barbie for experiments because his mother thought that her son might become a good designer in the future. :)

I think its because Tommy Boys are socially excepted and girly boys aren't. On top of our outlook we don't want our kids to be singled out by others either. I am similar. I buy boyish clothes and toys for my girl. For a boy I might buy a doll but not a barbie. When it comes to dressin my girl boyish I always make sure she wears something that is girly. Like putting her hair in pigtails. I dont mind when people think my baby is a boy cause you cant really tell, but it would kinda bother me if someone thought my 3 year old was a boy. (both are girls)

It happens. The way we walk, talk or even the words we use... all have gender influences.

I've always allowed my kids to choose their own toys. If the boys liked Barbies, the boys had Barbies. If the girls like tools or trucks, they can have tools & trucks.

I will never forget when my daughter turned 2, she is now 11, at her birthday party one of her boy cousins was playing with her kitchen. His dad was getting very mean saying he was going to grow up weird because he was playing with girl toys. Hello, what's wrong with playing with a kitchen. My husband loves to cook. My daughter had one of those battery operated ride on toys and it was a motorcycle, she loved it. Both my girls wanted remote controlled cars and we let them have it. I honestly don't see anythign wrong with this. In fact, once kids start pre-school, pre-K there is lots of lets pretend and I have seen the boys playing with dolls. I have never seen another child make a big deal about it, it seems like it is always an adult making a fuss over it. About dressing a boy in pink. I honestly don't see anything wrong with a light pink polo shirt. But then again, my dad wore pink and his motto was if someone wanted to make a deal about it, they would have a hard time talking with his fist in their mouth. I know he was just talking but it didn't stop him from wearing it. Now that I think about it, my nephew who played with the kitchen went through a phase that is favorite color was pink. This was when he was between 4 - 5 years old. His mom didn't try to stop it because it was his choice on what his favorite color was. My youngest daughter's favorite color is green. It was never one of my favorite colors but it is growing on me. It's her choice.

I am pretty open minded too but you did get me thinking. I don't believe that I would dress my son in pink or consider buying him a barbie either. If he really wanted one however, i don't think i'd have a problem with it. Pink clothes?? i don't think I could go that far.

i totally get what you mean. i have a son and while his clothes do have some orange, green, yellow and all, i don't think i've bought pink for him yet. red yes. i don't think we mean to do it intentionally. it's just hmm ingrained you can say, in us. even if i wanted to buy him pink because it might suit him, my husband for sure wouldn't agree saying no that's a girl's colour. of course there are celebrities who do don pink clothes so there's actually nothing wrong. it's just the way of our thinking. i think as my son grows older, i'd consider buying pink too but most importantly, the colour must suit the person himself. sometimes, the skin colour doesn't match with certain colours as you all would probably know.

When I was a little boy I liked to play with dolls, and was interested in dance. I was lucky my parents were flexible, because I don't take gender roles seriously. It has been really helpful in my relationships, and in my ability to be a fully functioning human being. Also I am heterosexual, and have a healthy sexuality. If I had a proclivity towards homosexuality, I wouldn't have repressed it in that enviroment (which by my judgement is good). Not having that proclivity the only effect of me ignoring gender roles, is a lack of pointless machismo and a greater understanding and respect for women than the average man. I think one of the most important duties as a parent is to protect your children against the harmful aspects of gender roles. Interesting discussion, thanks for posting.