Where are you,on your list of very important people?
By RobinJ
@RobinJ (2501)
Canada
February 11, 2008 11:27am CST
Hi everyone, as a child I was taught that we had to respect our parents, husbands, doctors,teachers,police,church officials,the people who owned/operated business.
The list goes on and on, but you know it is funny because I was never on that list. I grew up thinking and believing that I was not important, and this was told/explained/shown to me by almost all the people on "the list" that who did I think I was?
It was only after years and years of respecting those people that I realized the most important person was left off the list. ME, that is right I am important to, and now because I respect my self I can and do give my respect to those that have earned it, not because they are on a list.
4 people like this
7 responses
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 08
I believed that any list that existed my name would be right at the bottom if it hadnt dropped off the list completely, for so much of my life I always felt unworthy, that I didnt deserve respect from others or to be treated as an equal. I would shy away from people feeling insufficient and inferior. How could others like, respect or want me if I didnt even love myself? I have now come to understand just where I went wrong and why I was sending out messages that I needed to be rescued, loved, wanted by all the wrong people! Which only made me even more worthless, manipulated and easy to control, it was like others were given the strings to control me, I was a puppet not a human. Now I am slowly understanding that I have to respect myself, I have to love myself and I have to replace myself at the top of the list where I should have been from day one, as mum used to say to me Im just as good as you are, you are....
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
13 Feb 08
what is the old saying "you have come a long way baby" I am so proud of you Wolfie, you are getting there and don't stop now. Very soon you will find that you don't even have to think about the old days, and what a mess it was,
I am thinking that very soon you will have the wisdom and knowledge to be able to say " Brian is back and look out world" I honestly believe the further we fall the harder it is to reach the top the better we are for the experience, I didn't understand that concept till I reached the top,but now I know I do not have to prove myself to any one, I know and treasure who I am , and you my friend will also reach the top, it has been a long hard haul and many slips and tumbles, but because we went through it we are so much stronger rather than ride on some ones back. Well done and well written Thanks
@Grandmaof2 (7579)
• Canada
11 Feb 08
I only have one thing to say to you Robin and it's because of what you wrote in this post. I honestly wish we could be more than just cyber friends because we could totally understand each other. We'd be good life long friends.
1 person likes this
@cblackink (969)
• United States
20 Feb 08
I can totally relate to what you're saying. It's taken me a very long time to realize that all humans (including me) deserve respect just for being human, but not necessarily for a title or a position. In the end, we all end up in the same place. So you deserve as much respect as anyone and you're just as important as anyone in the eyes of God.
1 person likes this
@diansinta (7544)
• Indonesia
1 Mar 08
Yes! you are absolutely right. I grow up with parents that told me the list too. It is very annoying when our parents are talking about somebody else achievement is more important than me. My God! I'm their daughter.
I stand up for it one day and tell my mom "Ma, why don't you see me. Why don't you support me. and why you always talking about somebody else children in front of me like they were better than me, i'm your daughter not them?!"
And my mom realized it that she sorry for it.
Sometimes we need people to understand without telling them with words. But when they never stop doing it. better we say something about it.
I was so low esteem when my mom keep doing it over and over until i was 16 years old. I grew up to be a very shy girl and don't do sosial so much.
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
11 Feb 08
That was true on our family also. We were taught to respect all those same people but we were to be seen and not heard. We were always second to eat as the adults were to eat first then the kids. It was hard for me to realize that I was important. In fact, I am just now beginning to take that fact from my head to my heart.
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
11 Feb 08
Hi Anne, good to hear from you. It literally took me years to even consider myself as having any value. and the old saying "what you believe you are. is exactly who you are" is to true. I think it is a mental attitude that we carry around and when people do not see us as having value,it is because we do not believe it either.
I can tell you that it was difficult to change that thinking, it only happened because I was told I was a pain in the butt, because I couldn't accept a complement about anything, I mean I would stand there and argue with people who tried. It was a harsh learning experience but I treasure it now. I was told by one lady that she used me as an example of some one she would never never want to be. I can now honestly say I understand and agree with her.
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
12 Feb 08
I am an RN so I have had a very respectable job. I am not working part time in a doctors office getting them up to snuff so they can become accredited. I am the one with the knowledge.
If I am not the one in the know I know in my heart I am important to my family.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
very good point hon, and I am up there with you on that list too, I don't mind sharing the spot with others, but I refuse to be considered less than others.
