Should I have a kid or two?

Consider what you have gone through as an inspiration or a challenge that must strengthen you in any struggle that you might encounter again. Having a child, regardless of how hard life is, should never be ragarded as a problem. Who knows, the child you are waiting for is not the only blessing you'll receive, rather he or she might be a bearer of more blessings. I think you must start taking time in making bay because you are not getting any younger. Pregnancy becomes risky as you get older. It gets more difficult when you turn 40 but I do know a lot of friends who gets pregnant even when they are 40+ already so don't lose hope.

Kids are part of a family. I am surprised why people get married if they don't need kids for their sake of financial securities. Its better to live single. People who are hesitant to marriage are far more better than people who are hesitant to have kids. Fairly I don't find any logic. I have just critised your mentatlity. But ofcourse in the age of 38 there may be some complications. For that you have to consult a gynaecologist.

I don't believe in reproducung willy nilly particularly if your finances are strained, but one child can be done. I had my first child at 39 and my second at 40, so that's doable too. You are getting into an age range where it can be more problematic, but it is still doabel. I also think that the best time to have a child is when you have it. If you keep waiting for the perfect time it will never come or if it does something will happen to upset the apple cart. Best of luck to you.

What is the reason you want a baby? Are you doing it because that seems like what you are supposed to do or do you really want one? Don't have one for the wrong reasons because society tells you you need to have one if that's not what you really want. If you think that having a child would make your life better or for whatever reason then you should try it if that's what you want. It's not the end of the world if you don't have one. You can still live a very fulfilling and rewarding life. And you can always adopt a child that needs a family if you don't don't have a biological child.

I dont know why Chinese government deprives a family or a woman to have kids. It only comes in two choices its either they are concieving with a girl they are required to have a abortion... or two they have to pay if they exceed the limit of having kids. I mean no bad bananas to our chinese friends here in mylot, why should a persons happiness of having a kid should be a stressful issue and make this world more sinful by aborting kids innocent souls just because it is rule that whoever exceeds the limit pays more. Life is life it is made for all of us to be happy and whatever decisioins we make. The worlds populations is ballooning but that doesnt mean that it should affect everyone who wish to have kids. For me, the worlds legacy and pain in all phase of reality depends on our kids and young children of the world lets not take away the opportunity from them to breath and have a life.

dear, I have read twice.It shows your problems and anxieties everywhere.But you see first of all you have to believe God. 39 years back God had already decided that a girl will come to universe through your mom.That has happened.At present you are thinking that if a kid has come, how can lookafter within this financial crisis.Dear, God know if a kid has come, how to grow, when to grow,where to grow and all things. Only thing is you just tell about your husband and do it. If god decided to come a kid through yours, that will happens. No doubt. So don't worry be happy. God (Allah) lookaftered everything in universe.

Hi AsianAgnes08, I guess having a difficult upbringing/poor family will give a clear picture of what you and your husband want. You and your husband really need to sit down and discuss about children as your biological clock is ticking. Actually, having a child is a good way to bond your marriage. Of course, when a baby is in the house, there will be a lot of sacrifices to make like, your daily routine, your priorities and also probably financial burden will increase. But if you and your husband are mentally ready to shoulder these burden, I believe the impossible will be possible. Good luck.

I can't say my experience is really like yours but in some ways, I can relate. I was raised in a good family...my parents stayed together and lived until I was an adult. I was raised to be independent and strongly believed that no one in this world owed me a living and to depend on myself and occassionly accept and be very grateful for any help along the way. That being said, I married a man who did not work much of the time. It only served to make me stronger and confirm to me that I could not count on anyone but myself. I raised our children on my own....with very little help from him. we divorced when they were young. I got pregnant again(surprise,surprise) when I was 38 and with a man that I hadn't been dating long. I was kind of nervous becuz of my age but nowadays, it is not so risky. I had a beautiful and very healthy baby girl. She is 14 now and I am so grateful for her in my life. she is awesome. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you really want a baby...don't let age or fear hold you up as time really is running out. You mite however really want to consider your busy lifestyle and whether or not you really want to devote the time. A child is very very time consuming and life changing. Even people that love children very much often choose not to have any of their own. I have a cousin that works in St. Judes childrens hospital and is wonderful. Kids just love her. She too struggled with your question as she got older and opted to be involved with children but not have any of her own. In the end...you have to follow your heart.